A short post, which is more of a question for all of you. I’ve read many articles on the growing influence and English-nisation of education around the world, so much so that many native languages are on the verge of extinction. More often than not I see parents, especially in metros, conversing with their kids in English. Whatever happened to our so-called mother tongues? Do we have fond memories of our grandmothers and mothers singing lullabys to us or telling us stories in our native language or English? If at home we do not take the initiative to make our child follow and understand our roots and language, where else would (s)he learn it? English is the first language in every English medium school; hence the child can be relied upon to grasp it with little difficulty.
Doesn’t it become our collective responsibility then to safeguard our language and our culture, or is it too down-class to use your mother tongue at all?
When mobile phones were introduced in the market they were seen more of an improvised and modified version of a cordless phone with certain unseen and unheard of features. From being the ones adhering only to the basic purpose of their conception viz making and receiving calls, an address book for contacts and having an easily operable and usable technology, they’ve surely come a long way.
They now store images, songs and videos and have an ever increasing memory with the help of memory cards. They provide you with cameras, radio and voice recording facility. I can go on and on. But this post is not about the umpteen positive and/or negative effects and after-effects of mobiles. I intend to speak about the time when there was no such concept as a mobile.
The first memory of a telephone I have is that of a heavy black instrument (rotary) we had at our place. It had a dial in front of it, the typical sorts we had back then wherein one had to insert a finger/pen/pencil/spoon in the hollow above the desired number and roll it upto the end point. We kids were warned to be careful with it since the receiver too was not easy for us to handle. I remember the excitement of us kids when it went all trrriiing trrriiing and we ran to answer the phone.
Years went by and the form of the telephone evolved into sophisticated light-weighted sleek models which gave way to press-in buttons and redial, call waiting and address book facility. Not only this, they now give you choices for ringtones too. Answering machines are an added feature. The uses are plenty.
One thing however which has not and will not evolve is the way people talk and answer on phones. Phone etiquette surely has fewer buyers. Even now, at my Mom’s I had to answer to people who were ranging from pathetic to downright rude. Here go some of the conversations:
Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring…
Me: Hello
Some Aunty *sounding surprised* (why??): Who is it?
Me: You tell me
Aunty *Very stylishly brazen*: I'm Mrs. XYZ...can I talk to Mrs.ABC (my Mom)?
Me: She can't come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?
Aunty *Uncertainly* : I'm not sure I can tell you. I'll call back.
Aunty hangs up. I’m bewildered. Can’t I take down a message properly or these people are discreet the Osama way??
Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring…
Me: Hello
Some Aunty : Hello…is this Varsh?
Me *Happily* : Yes Aunty…How are you?
Some more banter on how, when, where about me and her.
Me: Mom’s not at home…is there some message for her?
Aunty: I wanted to invite her at my place for a party. *Accusingly* But you’re at home so probably she won’t come. Just tell her I called.
Aunty hangs up. I’m feeling incredibly insulted. Do I need her permission to come to my place???
And finally….
Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring… Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring… (the call gets cut before I can answer it) Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring…
Me (running to get to it) *Breathlessly* : Hello
A hoarse voice: Can’t you pick up the phone?
Me: Huh...Who is it?
XYZ: Now you don’t even recognize my voice?
Me *Uncertain* : I’m sorry I’m not getting you, who’s it?
XYZ: I’m the so and so of your so and so who live in Amravati.
Me: What? We don’t have anyone in Amravati…
No points for guessing it was a wrong number and I realized it only after my head had started spinning wildly ‘se of the family tree the man insisted I should consider. Needless to say, this time I hung up!
I know of many people (me included) who prefer mobiles over landlines. They are easy to carry and enable constant contact with anyone at all times. It comes with its baggage though. Its not a rare sight to find people screaming loudly into their phones in public places due to bad network or even going overtly mushy and embarrassing people around them. What more, even wrong numbers on mobiles are common now! Whatever the mode, I’d suggest people conduct themselves well and let others be too.
A typical morning in any household probably consists of the delicious aroma of 'adrak ki chai' and everyone at home struggling to have the fresh and crisp newspaper first. Same is the case at our place, but I intend to do away the possibility of such a thing completely. I've started dreading reading the headlines these days...and why..
Last week it was this, and this week it is this! The string of disturbing news refuses to cease and I cannot help but silently pray for my son's well-being everyday. He's still small, but it won't be long before he'll be abreast with some or the other 'situation'. How will he take it? What will I be able to do to save him from such 'jungli' people who're let out in our society in the garb of learned men?
The elders in our family always told us, mornings are the best time of the day, when you're mood and mind is fresh and delightful. I need to differ from them now. I want to break my habit of heading for the newspaper every morning, 'se every other day it carries some or the other crime committed against women or children, which makes me shudder and go hug my son in his sleep.
What kind of people are we turning into? It is said that people who commit crimes are always instigated, provoked or are suffering from some kind of illness. When such crimes happen so frequently, and in any part of the world, does it mean that the level of 'sane' people is seriously dwindling?
I know running away from the situation or shutting myself off from it completely is not going to serve any purpose. But I'm scared, very scared. What kind of world are our kids going to see when they grow up? We take so many pains to teach them proper mannerisms when some b******s out there can't even be called humans!
I'm sorry for such a digressing and accusing post. Guess it's the paranoid Mom inside me who's reacting very strongly.
I don’t want to write a full length post on this one, since we’ve already done that many times. Sadly, the situation as well as the people responsible for it refuse to change, so yet again we have to witness such ‘sorry’ mass mentality.
My sister-in-law gave us a cutie pie bundle of joy this week, my nephew. All of us were indeed mighty excited about this and decided to go meet the new mom and the kiddo over this weekend. Along with us many of her other relatives had also joined in to celebrate the occasion. Amongst them was a sweet but very naughty girl, around 7-8 years old.
The girl slept well beyond 10 o’clock and took milk only after her mother warned her with dire consequences (whatever they were). I was enjoying this whole exercise, even getting bit nostalgic remembering this scene at our home when I was that age. Suddenly, an elderly lady in the family came out and asked her to go take a shower. As expected, she refused. The lady got very furious and said:
नहाएगी नहीं तो काली हो जायेगी...फिर तुझसे शादी कौन करेगा...बैठी रहना घर पे!
I was zapped and didn't know how to react. Worse still, the girl's reaction to this was even more baffling. She seemed hurt, but nonetheless went ahead and took a shower.
I didn't know what to say and to whom, so I just kept quiet. Good thing we're teaching our daughters. The only intention of our lives is to look 'fair' so we can get married easily, that's all.
From the time human being came into existence woman has played the pivotal role in any relationship. It was only after Eve came to life that Adam got his first relations within the human species; that of a companion, a struggler and a better half. Since then whether it’s her life or the one’s depending on her, woman has been the one to make ‘relationships happen’.
Whatever role she’s found herself in, woman has never shied away from taking that extra step to ascertain that she meets, or sometimes, even surpasses expectations. Let me present few instances to illustrate my point.
1.A qualified and independent woman who’s never negotiated with anything in her life doesn’t think twice before giving up her flourishing career in favour of her child’s better look-after. This shows her sacrifice.
2.A highly pampered and loved daughter suddenly finds herself in an unknown territory when after marriage her mother-in-law constantly nags about how she can’t cook properly or keeps ridiculing her endlessly. Not the one taught to whine and complain, she bears everything quietly. This shows her resilience. 3.Her life partner didn’t turn out to be the one she’d expected and wanted. She regrets her choice and wishes if only she could go back and undo what she’d done. She’d like to break away but cannot bring herself to do it because she can’t put her kids through the ordeal that’ll follow.This shows her compromise.
4.Her kid sister wants to take up a career option that her parents would never accept. She’s convinced that it’s the best for her and wants elder sis to step in and persuade her parents. After making sure that younger sis knows what she’s doing, she decides to back her.This shows her understanding.
It would be incorrect if I try to portray that a woman has only positive traits, since we all know this cannot be true. Let’s see few negative ones too.
1.Two best friends; one blessed with the most enviable looks while the second couldn’t be more unattractive. Though the latter would never speak openly about it, the adulation and attention the former enjoys makes her dislike her occasionally.This shows her jealousy.
2.A woman at a senior position at work makes the life of her juniors a living hell because she wants to nip any competition in the bud. This shows her insecurity. 3.Wedding plans are always 'in the making' in the minds of all mothers, whether she has a daughter or a son. But the moment her son gets married and shows a little more thoughtfulness for his wife, sparks are bound to fly. This shows her possessiveness.
A person’s nature and character play a vital role in shaping his life and relationships. The way a woman can perceive and nurture relationships, a man never can. That is why a mother is called as an ‘avatar’ of God and a wife is called the better-half. In spite of her negative traits, only a woman can create a ‘complete’ family.
History has proved that whenever kingdoms have been formed or destroyed, there has always been a woman behind it. Power and manipulation are two crucial qualities that a woman possesses, whether she realises it or not. Power to change the world and manipulation to make the world a better place. It is only for her to know how these can be optimally and ethically used.
There’s a famous saying in Sanskrit :
“Triya charitram purushasya bhagyam daivo na janati kuto manushyah”
The translation simply being that when even God himself cannot understand the character of a woman, what a mere human can do, it is his destiny.
Being a woman myself I always found this very disrespectful and prejudiced. But when seen and understood beyond its obvious implication one will realize that it does hold true, for every woman in this world. Yes, no one can understand a woman, that’s because a woman believes in keeping her things to herself; sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of respect or sometimes simply because she’s too modest or proud to accept her success or failure.
So let us take this opportunity of "Women's Day" and celebrate being a woman. Let us forget all our vices and petty differences and come together and enjoy this day with a free spirit and realise what a woman means and stands for! :)
Few days ago I received a call from A’s cousin, T, who was complaining about some girl his parents have seen for him and how he wants the matter to be put on hold. Following this I had a long discussion with his mother aka my aunt-in-law, but determined as she was, she paid no heed to my defences, all my convincing powers failed and the ‘ladka dikhane ka program’ went ahead as planned.
The girl’s family visited their place and as I hear, looked visibly impressed. After all, who wouldn’t like his daughter to be married to a guy who has a good job, good social standing and a good family background?! They invited our family over to their place to proceed, now with ‘ladki dikhana’.
So now we’re here. Our family’s waiting for an auspicious occasion to go see her. From what I saw in her bio-data, the girl’s good-looking, well-educated and belongs to a good family. ‘Reports’ about the girl have also been favourable. My aunt-in-law has decided that she’ll complete all the minor formalities to ‘book’ the girl before any wrong-doer turns up and messes the whole thing.( You've got to be kidding!!)
T is shaking in his shoes since he feels its all happening a bit too soon. He called me up again to share his nervousness and his inability to compel his parents to take it slow. Here’s how our conversation went: T : Bhabhi, Mom and Dad have already decided on what all they’ll give the girl once everything falls in place! Me: Why don’t you tell them you want more time to think? T: I tried, but you know them na..they are saying there’s a right time for everything and there’s no point in waiting now. Me: Do you not like the girl? Tell them so.. T: No no..there’s nothing wrong with the girl. I’ve heard only good things about her from everywhere. Me: Then what’s the problem? T: If I get married I’ll loose my freedom. I won’t be able to come home and leave at my own will. Me: This will happen even if you marry after 5 yrs. You have certain responsibilities after marriage. What’s wrong in that? T: May be you’re right. But what about my freedom?
And the same thing continued for another hour.....grrrrr……Gimme a break! Now, if you ask me I’m kind of confused as to what T exactly wants. If he wants to marry, why not just accept it and marry! Or may be he enjoys us trying to persuade him to do it. May be he enjoys the attention. Honestly, it gets a boring after I’ve repeated the same things to him over and over again.
But as they say, marriage comes with a baggage, so आलिया भोगासी असावे सादर !!
When I was young the ‘SEX’ word was a taboo and anything pertaining it essentially needed to be spoken in whispers and hushed tones. That was the time when sex education was not a compulsory part of our curriculum and cases of sex abuse against children were not very frequently seen or heard of. The world has changed a lot after that, and unfortunately, for the worse.
Apart from coping with the increasing competition, the pressure of better performance and the burden of their parents’ expectations, one more thing that kids have to face nowadays is the sexually explicit overtures of their family members, friends, neighbours and teachers. There’s not a single day when the newspaper does not carry some story about such a crime being committed against some minor. There are two such accounts that I’d like to share.
1.K belonged to a typical upper middle-class family. Her family consisted of her parents, a kid sister, grandparents and one uncle. Everything was going fine until a far-off relative of hers, another uncle, who found a job in their city came to live with them. From the day he entered their home he was overtly nice to her, giving her presents and not losing a single chance to touch or feel her when no one was around. She was young then and too naïve to interpret his advances. He continued his lewd acts and she never objected as she had started liking him. However, as she grew older and came to understand that theirs was an incest relationship, she decided she should confide in her family about it and asked him to face the music with her. As expected, he begged himself out. He wanted her to continue giving him all the pleasures but he didn’t want the world to know about it! With help from close friends and maintaining deliberate distance from him, she finally came out of the ridiculous situation. Now she’s happily married to a wonderful man, and the pervert still keeps trying unsuccessfully to get lucky with her.
2.I remember I was some 10-12 years old when I’d first seen on television, the story of a 4-year old girl who was abused by her father, repeatedly. The girl’s mother had reported the matter to the police and got him arrested. She said that she’d found her daughter hiding under the bed afraid that her father had come home, while it was her. She took her close, hugged her tight and asked her what had happened. To her horror and sheer disbelief, the kid enacted what all her father had been doing with her on the pretence of giving her a bath or putting her to sleep. It was all very disturbing. The lady couldn't stop her tears while explaining what all her little baby had gone through. She'd been there all the time, but she'd noticed nothing, sensed nothing. She'd assumed that they were bonding, but it turned out to be a nightmarish experience, for both the ladies. I wonder how long it must’ve taken for them to come back to a normal life and put such a dark past behind them.
The whole day after that I couldn’t think straight. The little girl’s face refused to leave my mind. My stomach turned at even the thought of it. When the person who’s support to look after you, protect you, pamper you and love you turns out to be a sex-starved monster, what can one do?
The government is taking steps to create awareness in school-going kids by giving them sex education and knowledge about how to identify any untoward behaviour. As parents it is our job also to make ourselves approachable to our kids and making them confide in us. It is only when they feel we’ll understand and empathize with them that such crimes will be easily detected and the culprits will be caught hold of and punished.
It’s very heartening to see everyone speak up openly and uninhibitedly about the many rampant issues faced by women. These concerns have been around for some time and it’s about time we not only create awareness regarding them but also do whatever wecan in our capacity to put a check on them.
I'm Nu from Randomness had tagged me for the entry to this blog post at Indusladies on occasion of Women's Day. I've chosen to write on Relationships.
I’d like to define relationships as those complex alliances wherein all the associated parties are related, with or without their consent and will. They’re supposed to bring about a positive change in our lives and help us grow and prosper. But what happens when one such relationship becomes the saddest truth of your life, a weight that you don’t want to carry?
Let me tell you a small story about a girl, say S. S belonged to a conservative joint family. Her family consisted of her Granny, many uncles and aunts and a whole lot of cousins. She however was the only child of her parents. Affluence was not something that her family had been able to enjoy. Her Grandpa had passed away when her father was young, and Granny had brought up all her kids all by herself. Her father was the youngest of all brothers.
She was the apple of her parents’ eye. While living in a joint family it was not possible for them to cater to all her wishes, but they did all they could for her. She was a vivacious, chirpy and pampered little girl with many dreams. When she stepped into teenage, as inadvertently happens with most of us, she fell in love. The boy had all she could ask for; good looks, good family and a good job. But there was a catch. The guy was from another caste and hence an alliance was complicated. She endlessly tried to convince her family, but it all went into vain. Even her parents refused to take her side. Sadly, she couldn’t bring herself to rebel against her own family. The end result: she was married to another guy much against her wish and packed away to a faraway city.
Let’s see how life changed for her post-marriage. This girl who used to lighten up the mood in any room with her mere presence had become unnaturally quiet and gloomy after marriage. Her resentment for her family was understandable, but unfortunately her husband too never tried to make her feel loved and cared for. She tried to accept her husband, his family, his life, but it was easier said than done. There was a void in her life that refused to get filled up. While she was battling with all these problems, she had no idea that there was a storm just waiting to hit her.
To cut a long story short, she met someone. Let’s call this someone R. R came into her life like a ray of light. He became the friend she needed, the companion she desired. He listened to her talk about her life, her likes and dislikes, her music, her poetry, everything that no one had ever tried to know. He made her laugh again, made her want to live again, made her love again. Yes! She fell in love with him. Without her knowledge, but slowly and very surely he became a part of her life. I know this is not ideally what a woman is expected to do, but she did. Wasn’t it obvious?
You’d ask me what happened next, right? What followed was not something anyone had anticipated. She came out in the open about her relationship with him since she didn’t want to cheat her husband behind his back. The relationship with R was sacred to her and she wanted it to command all the respect it deserved.
What I wanted to portray with this story was that everyone in this world should be given the right and freedom to make their own choices. We cannot choose our family, our relatives, but we can choose our friends and our life partners. These decisions should be taken with the approval of all people involved or we’d witness another story like that of S. In this case S had the courage to stand up for her love and her desired life, but what about those not-so-courageous ones who feel trapped but still are a part of such a bad marriage?
I agree my choice of topic is different from the usual ones, but I strongly feel that we need to come out of the closet and accept things for what they are. Living in ignorance and fear of truth can only result in us living unhappily.
My Name Is Khan had put forward a thought about the world consisting of only two types of people: good and bad. Conceptually, and broadly speaking, it might be true, but we’ll all unanimously agree that there are elements of good and bad in all of us. When we are judging a person we do not know anything about, it takes only but one good or bad episode for us to be or not to be impressed by him.
I’m going to write about something on the same lines. It’s not something that’s never happened with anyone, but I’m going to talk about it in the relevance of the essentially good and bad people we come across in our everyday lives, when an assumingly ‘sober’ person displays his dark side and a visibly ‘mawali’ person turns out as the good one.
While travelling long distances in Mumbai me and A prefer to take the ‘conventional’ mode of transport, the local train. The travelling time is reduced to half since traffic is not a problem and baby A too does not seem to mind the ride. In fact he enjoys all the activity around, he even smiles at the hawkers and eunuchs sometimes, much to my annoyance. Anyway, coming back to our topic..
Since we were travelling together and it was a Saturday, A suggested that I enter into the general compartment with him, and I obliged. As luck would have it, the train only got more and more crowded with every passing station. A squeezed his way through the crowd, but petrified with the thought of me brushing against those men stinking of God-knows-what-all; I cornered myself near the door.
An elderly man was standing next to me and was supposedly carrying something in his hands. Gingerly he moved step by step near me and his hand touched me suggestively. I ignored it a couple of times assuming it to be a genuine mistake. However, not the one to give up on it, he was persistent. I decided to take him to task and reprimanded him while all the other stunned men stared at us incredulously. He got the message alright! All this while A didn’t have the slightest idea of what happened.
While coming back home the same situation stared at me in the face and A promised that this time round he wouldn’t leave my side even for a second. What followed, ironically, was something I hadn’t expected. A guy who looked like a typical ‘tapori’ saw me struggling for some space to stand, and very courteously indeed, left his place and offered it to me. The smile on my face that time was honest and genuinely thankful.
Eve-teasing is a crime that probably every girl has to bear with, but few have the courage to stand up to it or raise their voice against it. We choose to keep quiet in fear of embarrassment in front of others or scared of what else might follow. This in turn only encourages these perverts to take us for granted and continue their sleazy acts. I’ve always chosen not to take it lying down and would persuade every girl to think and act similarly.
These two episodes forced me to think about how deceptive appearances can be. We classify a person as good or bad based on what we’ve seen or heard about him, but it does not comprise his whole personality. Therefore, I beg to differ from Karan Johar and Shahrukh Khan on this idea. Only good and only bad people can exist only in a perfect world, and ours is what imperfection stands for.
I was loitering around a shop yesterday looking for something I could pick up, nothing specific in mind. Just then two girls, may be around 20, came and stood behind me. Both of them kept talking non-stop, without the slightest care that there was someone standing within audible range. I tried not to listen, but failed. All other things aside, what did strike as amusing to me was the accent they were talking in.
It was the unmistakable ‘made-up’ accent we find common amongst most teenagers and call-centre people these days. Strained, deliberate and trying-too-hard-to-sound-right type. The use of correct words and grammar didn’t really seem to bother them a lot, but their ‘accent’ never slipped. Someone sure did a clean job! Kudos!
With the increasing influence of the west on our youth and our culture(and call centres mushrooming in every nook and corner of metros) a new breed of people is coming up slowly and steadily, the ones that are confused and pathetically caught between the two. These are the ones who would go to any lengths to be a part of the ‘hep-n-happening’ crowd. So to begin with, this ‘fake’ accent is a reliable style-mantra. It’s hilarious seeing these people rattle something that’s not easy for them to understand.
This whole ‘accented’ speaking is not new to us Indians though. If we travel the length and breadth of India we’ll find a new culture and a new language every few hours. Every state has a different language, a different tone, a different dialect that identifies every person belonging to that region. That’s why we’d never confuse a Bengali with a South-Indian or a Gujrati with a North-Indian. It is what we can call the ‘gift of the land’.
Let’s ask ourselves this: is it necessary to have an accent? Well, I don’t think so. I feel an accent is not learnt, it is acquired. The language that we’ve been speaking since childhood sure has a strong imprint on us, and it does come out even when we’re talking in some other language.
As far as British and American accents are concerned, the way English is used and taught in these countries is very different from us. The rolling of tongue, the pronunciation, the stressing on words is different. Hence to acquire it is quite an exercise for us.
Personally, I’m proud of the fact that I don’t have an accent. If I want, I can learn any language and use it like I’m born with it. Nothing can give me away. This I feel is better than the ‘fake’ accents people pick up and revel on. Are they so fixated not to understand that people can see through them?
It is not just about the way of speaking; our roots, our education, our individuality make us the person we are. All these put together certainly can give us the confidence and poise that nothing else can. Hence accent or no accent, what really matters is our belief in us. We shouldn’t feel the need to portray ourselves as someone we’re not or even try to hide what we are.
Finally, whether accents are good/essential/stylish or not is a debatable issue, and I’d leave it to others to decide. To each his own!
A lot has already been said about how good or how bad the old version of ‘Mile sur’ is. My post comes a bit late, but nevertheless..
Every one of us was a bit apprehensive, but curious none the less to see how this classic ode to patriotism would come of age. Now that it’s out for all of us to see, it seems like it was too much of noise over nothing.
I remember the mass effect the older version had created. People left whatever work they had at hand whenever the song was shown and flocked their television sets to see it over and over again. It was sort of a tribute to and a celebration of and for our country and our people.
As a child whenever I saw it, I was left with a feeling of oneness with our fellow countrymen and a lump in my throat, feeling very proud for the great personalities our country had produced in various fields. Although there were languages in there that I didn’t know, I’d memorized those lines so I could sing along whenever the song was shown!
The new version however doesn’t seem even close to it. Everyone who’s seen it must’ve his own judgement about it, but as far as I’m concerned the negative points are far more than the positive ones. I’ll take them one at a time:
1. To be fair, it does have a fresh and youthful look. Lots of new locations have been explored.
2. I liked the great maestros Pandit Shiv Kumar Sharma and Ustad Amjad Ali Khan featuring with their respective sons. Good blend of the old and the new.
3. Some social causes have also been inculcated. Like; education of the girl child and physically challenged kids, caring for senior citizens etc.
4. Wonder what Shahid Kapur, Shilpa Shetty, Ranbir Kapoor or even Deepika Padukone did to justify their presence.
5. Abhishek Bachchan continues to live in the reflected glory of his wife and father, or else he wouldn’t show up here.
6. Sachin Tendulkar? Anil Kumble? Rahul Dravid? Vishwanathan Anand?
7. The magic of Pandit Bhimsen Joshi’s and Lata Mangeshkar’s voice is seriously missing.
8. The song has many highs and lows throughout, I find that rather disturbing.
To summarize, the new version is just a song, not the message that the earlier one was. At a time when the common man is reeling under the pressure of growing inflation and food prices, it could’ve had a strong impact, had it not been just a high-budget publicity campaign for film stars and celebrities. There was an inspiration and honesty in the older version that lacks in this one.
Mere singing the same lines doesn’t help in sending the message across. It is not always what is being said, but also, who’s saying it that lends credence to a thought.
Last week we shifted our house. Before shifting there are some minor rituals to be performed in the new house. After completing them, as I was waiting for the sweeper to come in and clean up the apartment our new neighbor barged into our house with full authority to , in her own words, ‘check on the new people coming in’.
She had a whole questionnaire prepared for me. Where did we live before this? Who all are there in our family? Am I a working woman or a house-wife? How old is my son? What does my husband do? Where is his office? And on and on and on…
Within a matter of a few minutes she managed to get all my basic details, which would’ve taken longer to summarize had I been filling up the application form for a passport. She even suggested a new maid to look after my son.
What did strike as something peculiar to me was that she assumed that we had a Marathi lineage. May be my fluent Marathi fueled that thought. She went ahead and told me that most people in our apartment are ‘apli manasa’, as in Marathi people. I had to politely correct her that we belonged to a Marwari family, after which she again assumed (!!!!) that we had some jewellery shop or something!
The lady tested my patience no end, but I managed to keep my cool. I can vouch that she looked a bit disappointed that I was not one amongst them. Within moments her language and tone changed from ‘we’ to ‘you people’. It feels very sad that we call ourselves a secular country and even then stress on the ‘caste’ part so much.
We don’t mind when we visit foreign countries and are called as Indians, but when we’re in India we’re not Indians. Here we are identified with our caste or religion. We see colonies and borders everywhere. We see people supporting only people from their own caste on various occasions.
How right is this? Isn’t it time we think beyond these petty things and look at the larger picture, our country?India’s been already broken down into many parts, are we waiting for another disaster to open our eyes?
When we were in school every day in the morning assembly one student had to give the ‘Thought of the Day’. I loved this part. I felt elated when there was some thought I knew and committed to memory the ones I didn’t.
There was one thought that I failed to understand completely, then and even now. It was:
To err is human, to forgive is divine
With all respect to the person who said this, it’s not illustrative. Divine here means the act of being divine or the Almighty? In any case, I would like few answers:
1. A person can make any number of mistakes, may be serve a full term in jail or be hanged till death, but be forgiven by the Almighty? 2. What are these so-called mistakes that can be categorized as human? If a person robs someone for gambling and the other for some philanthropic reason, who will be forgiven since they’re both human? 3. Does this ‘forgiving’ come with a validity period? Say after some 100 mistakes God withdraws his discount offer? 4. What about those people who strongly believe in God, but know that at the end of the day no matter what they do, the Lord’s going to spare them?
We were taught that there’s one God, the forms may be different. No religion teaches you to hate or kill. Still we find people being killed every day in some or the other part of the world, in the name of religion, power or just plain rebellion against something. Was this the world that God had created? Can these people, who think killing people's going to prove a point,be forgiven in any court of law?
Today is 26th November, 2009. The first anniversary of the scary human massacre that took place in Mumbai. The incident that had shaken the very foundation of safety and security in our country, when three top officers lost their lives only because of sheer negligence.
The government must’ve come up with a count of the number of people who lost their lives, but what about their families? When one person of a family dies, the whole family gets affected, more so if he was the only earning member. The compensation offered may go into the tune of a few lakhs, but nothing can cover up the loss of one person.
We can make demonstrations, condemn the whole act, light candles, may be even stand and observe silence for 2 min, but nothing’s going to undo the damage caused to the hearts of all Indians. We’re indeed sorry for what happened, but aren’t we secretly thankful that we weren’t one of them?
I loved ‘A Wednesday’ and have seen it many times. I loved Naseeruddin Shah’s dialogue, ‘We’re resilient by force, not by choice. Hume ghar chalana hota hai saab!’ Its about time we wake up and own up to our responsibilities, or tomorrow might be our turn.
