The hand that rocks the cradle...

Leaving one's comfort zone is never easy. The nervousness of stepping into a new world, of seeing and meeting people we don’t know properly, the perplexity of how to blend in when at times you simply won’t want to, the thought of changing and sharing your life and everything with and for someone else, and many such baffling questions and sentiments occupy our minds when we make the big shift: marriage.


I might’ve started my post on this note, but it’s not marriage that I’m going to write about. My life has been transformed beyond recognition after A stepped into the life partner’s shoes, but there are some things that just can't be done away with. And for me the first and foremost thing that is simply unchangeable is my dependence on my mother. 


A lot has been said about how a mother is the first teacher to her children, how she’s the epitome of love, care and dedication and how important she is in anyone’s life, so I’m not going to repeat any of that stuff. We know that already, don’t we?  What I’m interested in are the unique individual traits that separate every single mother from another one.


Having a kid of my own has now made me realise just how handful I must’ve been. I was a very fussy eater even when I was 25 yrs old, was a little brash for a girl, had mood swings which would come unannounced anytime, had demands which would never seem to end, and….well..well…I’m criticizing myself on my own blog, duh! What I want to convey here is that having to deal with me wouldn’t have been at all easy for her, but she did so, wonderfully.


She told me that my life’s decisions were my responsibility and I needed to be answerable for them. She never blamed me for not making it to the top. She celebrated my not-so-good results by taking me out for dinner, just to cheer me up. She was not just my friend but a friend to my friends. She was there every single time I was on stage, for anything, just to watch me. She sacrificed her plans to buy a new ring so I could get my earrings. She cleaned my room, even my cupboard at times, removed clothes that needed washing and replaced them, ironed. She never complained when I misbehaved, only silently allowed that teardrop fall down her cheeks, when I apologised. 


When I left my house for the first time, for pursuing my post-graduation, she cried like she’d never see me again. Although she slowly started pursuing her interests she made it a point to talk to me every single day, a habit she hasn’t left till date. My marriage was a very emotional topic for her and though she never mentioned it upfront I knew she wanted to find a suitable boy for me herself. I happily let her do the honours, and hence came my better half, the one person who could never be replaced by anyone. Am I glad for it now or what?


Even now the mother in her hasn’t let go of her kid daughter a bit. She still worries for the smallest things concerning me, but yes, her encouraging nature hasn’t changed too. When I told her I wanted to study further, she was elated and proud of me. She’s very happy to see the way I’m bringing up A Jr, and says I do a better job than her at times. Boy, could there be a better compliment than this!


So I guess, leaving our comfort zone is not that difficult, when the one person who makes it all happen is there with you, practically or virtually, through phone, emails or messages.


What more can I say…I’m out of words now! 

The Magic of Three

Wow...hadn't written since so long and another post so soon! :)


This post can be considered as a sequel to the last one since it deals with 'motherhood' once again. My little prince, who gave me the chance to be called a mother, who made me experience this lovely feeling by coming in my life, who made me realise that I wasn't a complete woman without him, turns Three today.


Seems like it was just yesterday (and I'm sure I'll feel the same every year!) when I held him in my arms for the first time. Remembering that frail figure, those tiny fingers, that angelic face, that immediate and almost necessary throwing of tantrums, etc. makes me feel like an eternity has passed since. 


I can't help but reminisce the time when his standing up on his own feet, his first baby steps and his senseless and unclear blabbering gave me a big high. I longed to hear him say 'Mamma' and understand and reciprocate correctly to my questions. I did everything I could to get him flash me his wonderful smile. I wanted the world to be at his feet and give him each and everything he wanted.


I had to be the tougher one too and instill discipline in him by creating deadlines for his television time and limiting his chocolates. I had to make sure he had his fruits and meals on time and tell him that a bag of chips/burger/pizza is not a replacement for chapatis and vegetables.(Even A had issues accepting these rules! :P) I took all efforts to make him realise the significance of listening to his parents and following their suggestions. In short, I had to act like the villain in our family scene.


But, but, I'm not one! So to counter my acting controlling he gets to sit on the kitchen platform while I cook for him and demand whatever he wants, he gets to choose which movie to see next, he's awarded a new toy every single time we go out,etc. 


God, I can go on and on on this, can't I? He's evolved and so have I. Time changes so fast that before you can cease the moment, it's gone. Who once rode a cradle is now in Nursery, and before I know it, will go to college and make a life of his own! Am I over-reacting here? Possibly, but in my place, who wouldn't?


I gave a Bugs Bunny milk chocolate cake in his school for celebrating his birthday today. My kiddo (who wore his new Popeye t-shirt and capris)who was looking like a killer hunk in the making,couldn't get enough of all the attention and was glowing with happiness. When I left him back and came home I almost had a lump in my throat and a feeling of pride in my heart. That, ladies and gentlemen, is A Junior for you!

On Being a Mother Tag :)

I'm way behind schedule on this one. This might even seem a hasty job since I haven't thought it through, but nevertheless I want to take up this tag that Nu had passed on to me a while ago. Consider this as a Friendship Day gift from me since it managed to break my blogging hiatus! :)

I have to list 5 things that I learnt on being a mother. Honestly and ideally the list would go much longer than that but the kind soul that she is, Nu graced us by attaching a decent limit.

Here's my five things:

1. Patience: This probably holds true for everyone. We've lived our lives as per our time and wishes but a child simply takes away your freedom and independence. You need to eat sleep and live as per his schedule and it can be quite trying at times. God knows it tests the most patient ones of us, but I learnt it! :)

2. Nutrition: Junk food is probably an all time favourite for all of us, but not when it is regarding your child. It is quite tricky to send healthy and nutritious food down that little devil's throat but persistence and some fun recipes pay off. Teaching him to eat good food is tough but somehow I've managed successfully till now.

3. Learning: As adults our learning graph more often than not goes for a toss. We're so happy with what we know that the hunger to know more simply subsides. It is such a delight to see things through your child's eyes and wonder about how and what drives them. It is like growing up all over again.

4. Smiling: Children have the kind of innocence that attracts even strangers. They don't mind smiling at people they don't know and are approachable. Although it is not safe to show this knowing-like attitude towards everyone we meet, a little bit of genuine courtesy is alright, even for us.

5. Honesty: We all lie for some or the other reason; to avoid uncomfortable situations, embarrassment, answering, or just for the sake of it. But children seldom lie unless we teach them to. I like it when A Junior comes to me and confesses that he broke something, instead of placing the blame on someone else. I feel encouraged to follow suit.

So there, a bit hasty, but a tag nevertheless. Hope other blogger Moms out there agree with me too. :)

Role Reversal

All mothers are crazy, period! They exaggerate their kid’s smallest achievements, they feign indifference to people’s complaints against them, they adore their silly obsessive habits, they practice extreme caution when it comes to their health and well-being, they over-react at the smallest glitch regarding anything related to them, and…so on and so forth.

I’m saying all this while being well aware of the fact that I’m included in this generic but to-the-point indicative list of ‘compulsive-n-paranoid’ mother traits. What led me to suddenly come up with this? Let me tell you..

It so happened the other day that I was finishing up some work in the kitchen (grudging and sulking) late at night. While I was at work the father and son duo were having a blast; pillow fight, horse-riding on Papa’s back, cycling, dancing. Displaying extreme pride over being a good father, A said he’ll cut an apple for A Jr and make sure he eats it.

I was mildly surprised (and I swear I even blushed a bit) when A came to me with an apple slice and offered to feed it to me. Well aware of his habit of restlessly shoving one full slice in my mouth to save time (and spoil the whole romance along with ) I begged him to leave it aside for me to have it later.

What A did after that was completely unexpected! I thought I heard him tell A Jr, ‘Jaao Mamma ko apple khilake aao’ (go feed Mom the apple slice) but wasn’t sure if I heard it right. Right I was indeed! There came my cute little prince armed with an apple slice and the most killing smile in the world and extended the slice towards me. When I tried to take it from his hands he flatly refused and asked me to bend down. I obliged. I couldn’t believe my destiny and was almost in happy tears when he fed me the whole slice, no rushing, no hurrying, allowing me to chew it properly, all the while flashing that million dollar smile! *Getting all emotional again!* :) :)

It was a sight to behold. I wonder why it never struck me to take a video. May be some moments are best kept that way? I remembered all the times when I got all restless and squirmy while feeding him and felt immensely guilty for them. How true, kids teach us valuable lessons in the most unusual ways. And we mothers always take pleasure in accepting that our kids outshine and outlearn us, at any age whatsoever.

So, crazy justified??  :) :)

Past, present and future

After having a wonderful time at the Blogger’s meet over good ambience, good food and above all, a group of very warm and real blog friends, I was looking forward to capturing this great experience in a dedicated post and locking it up in memory forever. However, due to my procrastination, Ugich Konitari, Vivek and Nu came up with their versions of the meet well before me. Can’t beat their all-inclusive accounts of it, hence I’m not going to do it again. Go to their blogs to read and see what all we did there! :)

Have been missing from the blog world for over a week, quite unlike me. There’s so much to write, but no time and even less patience and concentration. The job of a mother beats everything else hands down. Last few days I’ve been very busy nursing A Jr who’s not been keeping very well of late. Blame the rains for it, which bring along with them a whole lot of infections and diseases. It’s been crazy, but he’s a little better today, and I’m slightly relieved. The next few days are going to be very eventful and I want him to enjoy every moment of it.

There’s a whole lot of fun awaiting us on the other side of this weekend. My Uncle-in-law and family are coming from US after almost a decade, which makes this out first official meeting. Along with this, there’s my bro-in-law’s wedding which is going to be a grand affair, and for which we’re doing our part of the preparation too. Starting from brushing up our dancing skills, getting our best sarees and jewellery in place while matching it with our spouses and kids, to cooking up new ideas for pulling the desperate groom’s leg, we’re doing the best we can. 

Everyone’s been planning for this from months in advance and eagerly waiting for it. And what better time for it than a wedding, when everyone’s in high spirits and out there just to have a good time? Such occassions are always the best way to make amends, form relationships and come closer. All in all, it’s bonding time for the family.

All this is going to take a while. Will be gone for some days but will be back with a lot more to share with you. Till then be good and be safe! Ciao! :)

Masti and more masti!

A Jr’s on a roll. Every new day seems like a day for new challenges and new pranks. I’ve to agree that it gets the better of my patience and tolerance many times but it’s simply cute the way he pulls off stuff I can’t even imagine. Sharing few of them with you.

I’d bundled up all the clothes to be given in the laundry but somehow one of my tops got left out. I couldn’t sight it but A Jr’s prying eyes caught it right away. He ran ahead of me to fetch it and simply refused to part with it. Curious as to what he’d do with it I let him have it. He directed me to help him put it on and danced away in it, happily and triumphantly!! :D

The other day he tried to climb atop a jar so he could reach onto the kitchen platform and pick up something from there. Worried that he might trip I asked him to get down, which he obviously did not listen to. I pretended to get angry and scold him on which my poor baby made a very bechara face and looked down. Feeling guilty, I started laughing to get him to smile. The prankster looked up and laughed louder than I did and gave me the fooled you expression. :(

I got a whole set of very cute toy cars for him to play with. Not the one to do what is meant to, he likes to do all kind of possible experiments with them; disintegrating all its parts and also reassembling them sometimes, throwing them with full strength to check if they break, and blah blah blah…

He’s learnt to climb on the couch and reach out to the balcony where we put the clothes out to dry. His favourite sport is to remove the clips used to hold the clothes in place and flinging them in the balcony. The washed clothes also land there many times. FYI, it is an extended balcony and doesn’t have a door, so fetching the items back includes climbing down it which is an unpleasant job. Nevertheless… got to do it! :P

I’d also like to add here that my dear friend rohini has given me two awards. Thanks dear…you’re so very sweet to find me worthy of them!! 

Back to where I belong :)

My vacation is over and I can’t be more thankful for it. Haven’t we heard that the grass is always greener on the other side? Until we go out there and find it out for ourselves there’s no way we’d know that from there our side looks greener too! Something similar happened to me. I couldn’t wait to leave the boring summer afternoons and humidity of Mumbai behind and have a blast with my family. Once there, it took me less than a week to realize just how much I’ve actually started to love and miss this place.

There was my parents and occasionally my brother with us but I had a long face at least once in a day since I missed A a lot! Not to mention that I worried endlessly about his eating habits since he’d had to eat out and sometimes confessed skipping his meals altogether because he was dreading eating alone. A Junior kept himself busy with breaking new glasses of Grandma, personally identifying and throwing out the contents of each drawer that he could reach out to and open, literally dragging Grandpa out to have a long drive in the car and howling loudly until he relented to his wishes, and on and on and on. The cutest thing was when he’d talk gibberish with A on phone no end and see his pictures and brightly smile and point him out.

At my in-laws’ place the story was different. A Junior had the greatest time with my nephew who’s all of 2 months! He’d pull his hands, pat him, kiss him and pamper him. Sometimes he was the protective elder brother who wouldn’t let any stranger touch him and sometimes he was a very possessive son who wouldn’t tolerate me even carrying the kid in my arms! He’d insist that we all treat him like we treated the baby. It was funny but very adorable. He’d shout and call out for us the moment the kid cried and make us attend to him, not realizing that it was his own violent love that disturbed his sleep.

I’d missed such family moments for a long time, but now that I’m back I don’t see myself leaving A and my home behind (which by the way was miraculously clean when I came. Kudos to A!) anytime soon. There are certain things we get habituated to and subconsciously start taking them for granted. We water our grass and take very good care of it, the other side however always appears greener. Isn’t this human nature? :)

The First Chapter

I’m a curious blend of anxiety and nervous anticipation right now. The D-day has arrived. Last many days I’d been cursing myself under my breath for acting so hastily and almost called the whole thing off. One part of me kept on blaming me for not thinking it through, whereas the other part was more welcoming and backed my decision supportively. The thought’s been nagging me endlessly day and night though. Am I doing the right thing? Or am I subjecting him to something that he’s not yet ready for?

In case you’re new here you’d wonder what I’m talking about, whereas the more informed ones would probably guess it right. I’m talking about my son’s playgroup which is starting from tomorrow. If you’ve missed the first part of this post you can read it here.

I called up at his school yesterday to confirm the date (and hoping it would be postponed, which wasn’t happening). It is going to be for all but one hour for now, and imagine my amazement when I’m asked to bring along a lunch-box, water bottle, an extra set of clothes and what not! What do kids do there? Arm wrestling in the mud which will make them hungry enough to eat with strangers and a bunch of other toddlers, who they hardly know? What would they do if he cries the moment I leave? What if some other kid towers over him and hits him?

It were these and many more such questions that my mind was preoccupied with all day, even when I went to buy a new Pokemon lunch-box and water bottle for him (which he selected himself!). A’s been trying to calm my nerves down, even offering to take a leave and accompany us. Though it sounded pretty tempting I declined it saying (uncertainly) that I can handle it on my own.

I know it’s not my first day at school, but on my first day all this worrying was done by my Mom, not me! As she recalled this morning I happily waved her good-bye when I entered my class. I hope the same happens tomorrow too, only the ‘what-in-case-it-doesn’t-happen’ part is tough to settle with.

Wish me luck!!!

A GRAND Weekend

‘We’ll come to your place this weekend then. Papa has some work and I hate to be left behind, so I’ll be joining him’. These were my mother’s words when she announced that they’ll be coming on Friday and will be spending the weekend with us. I couldn’t help chuckling all the time while talking to her and even after hanging up. Why? Because I knew that all these were mere reasons to see A Junior! Grandma couldn’t take it that Grandpa (who in turn was cooking up a story himself) would play with their laadla grandson while she’s sitting alone at home watching repeat telecasts of Balika Vadhu. :)

A Junior, in turn, couldn’t be happier with all the attention showered upon him. Last two days he’s been riding high, getting loads of chocolates (which by the way were introduced to him just recently), new toys that he can dissect and pull out open, and lots and lots of hugs and kisses which are best left unnumbered. It’s remarkable (not for me!) how he’s already learnt that it’s his victory when Grandma or Grandpa scold Mamma for being strict about his eating and napping timings!

I never told this to my parents, but seeing all this made me feel a bit jealous, good jealous, if there’s anything like it. I lost both my Grandpas when I was very young. My paternal grandmother never really bothered herself a lot with us. My maternal grandmother was the sweetest and purest human being I’ve ever come across in my life. She was the perfect Grandma; who told us lots of those raja-rani ki kahaniyan, made us our favourite dishes and saved us from our mother’s anger whenever we disrupted her sweet afternoon nap. Even at her age, her skin had a glow that no fairness cream can boast of, and shiny black hair, not one grey. I miss her a lot, and seeing my parents with A Junior I wished I could get a hug from her too. May her soul rest in peace. Love you Ma (that’s what we all called her).

I can now understand why my mother always grumbled when our Grandma took sides with us. It's amusing to see how our own parents change once they get this promotion. Any complaint about A Junior made to my mother falls on deaf ears and I've to eat my own words everytime. As she herself puts it, ' मुद्दल से ब्याज हमेशा प्यारा होता है'  (We crave more for the interest earned than the principal amount itself)! 

(My value seems to be depreciating fast...but I'm not complaining :P )

I Love You Mom! :)

It is said that God couldn’t be present everywhere so he created a mother. Whoever said this couldn’t have been more correct, don’t we all agree? No matter what age we are in, the love and attention our mothers bestow upon us means the world to us. Now that I find myself in the role of a mother, I find that pampering all the more endearing and can relate with it from both sides :)

After I got married, my Mom, who until then was a complete house-wife, started associating herself with a whole lot of clubs and organizations to keep her busy and get away from the seemingly ‘empty’ home. Until then I was the one who reminded her with a bouquet of flowers and an ‘I Love You Mom’ card that it was Mother’s Day or Valentine’s Day and she deserved some special treatment (not that I never got her anything on some other random day)! :)

Today I tasted my own medicine, and it was sweet :) It so happened that my Mom’s out with some of her friends attending some seminar and had a whole agenda worked out, so I chose not to disturb her and didn't get to speak with her properly in last two days. She, however, called me up in the morning today and completely out of the blue wished me ‘Happy Daughter’s day!’ I had a lump in my throat and wished if only I could hug her that time! Today had been just another insignificant day until then and I had no idea about this, she turned it around completely!  Sweet no!! :D

While we’re on mothers, here’s one more from A Junior. Amongst the many things that he’s obsessed with (and which I never understand), one is his own shadow! Many times I’ve seen him dancing around and adorably watching his shadow falling on the ground and walls and moving along-with in the evening sun. Its funny but cute seeing him run after it and trying to catch it :)

He once clicked his own shadow too, check this out!

 

I hope I get to meet my Mom real soon, 'se I badly need to feel her loving touch and warm hug. Meanwhile, those of you who are lucky enough to be near their Moms, please go tell them you love them and acknowledge what all they do for you. That's all that means and matters to them :)

Talent in the making

Having a kid at home unarguably implies that you have to be prepared to face innumerable and endless unimaginable surprises and unforgettable moments. This time round I'm talking about a 'new' thing that my son has learnt. No matter how much I try to hide it, he almost always finds my cellphone and keeps clicking photographs of God knows what! More often than not I find my memory card full of his curious and confusing photo-art. Sharing few of his 'pictures' with you...and yes...when I tried to click some similar ones myself...I miserably failed :P

 

  

  

 

Interesting and impressive huh??

Lets Celebrate Love

I'd decided that I'll wait until Valentine's Day to post this, but as A says, why should the day or the occasion be any excuse or condition to express anything for each other? With all due respect to St.Valentine, the whole concept is a bit exaggerated. For love, lovers and expressions, there's no 'mahurat' required. So any hopefuls who're planning to woo their sweethearts with gifts, cards or flowers this V-day, why wait when you can do it rightaway? We girls love getting pampered anyday! :)
 

Here's something very close to my heart....
 

It is so good to see we both know,
That we love each other more than we show.
Our love is boundless needless to say,
There's just no place for hate and refrain.

Your eyes and my eyes speak countless words,
Your looks more fatal than a thousand swords.
Your hands on my face and your hands in my hair,
Leave me with a feeling of just nothing to care.

This whole world seems to be confined up to you,
You and I only is like a dream come true.
Whenever the world is giving a rough hand,
Your caressing arms are like an oasis in sand.
 

I'm taking up this chance today to tell my husband that I love him a lot. No amount of words can explain what I feel for him. Even when I've been irrational and foolishly demanding he's been there for me, loved me and cared for me. I want him to know that no matter what future may hold for us I'll always be there with him and continue loving him like I have..always. I say this to him over and over, and I'm saying this again, 'I Love You'! :)

Lets celebrate love for all that it means to us and let our special someone know that its because of them that the seconds in our life have become memorable moments that are going to be cherished forever.

And the cycle begins..

My son is almost a year and a half old, and as is the norm these days I got him enrolled in a playgroup. The whole process was unbelievably complicated and lengthy. First, to zero-in on the best ones and secondly to shortlist those that are convenient. And then, as always there are people who give unwarranted advice and increase your bewilderment further.

I went with full zest to find out all about them; the atmosphere, the attitude of teachers, the playing area, the activities, everything! Needless to say, only the one I found fit for my kiddo was chosen. But now that the formalities are done with, I’m having my own doubts about sending my son there or not itself! :(

He’s learnt to speak all but a few words, cannot eat on his own and is a pampered little kid. I mean, he’s so small. Isn’t it unfair to him to make him leave the loving cushion of his family and go out in the world on his own? What’ll he do if he needs me? How’ll he tell anyone what he wants? God, I’m going crazy!!

When I told A what I felt, the only reply I got was that he had to do all the things that kids of his age do or he’ll feel left out. May be he’s right. However I find my motherly instincts calling out suddenly (and more frequently these days) and I feel this urge to just hug my son tightly and not let go.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or whether all moms go through this stage. Next time I talk to my mom I’ll make it a point to ask her about what she felt when she dropped me to school the first time. I’m sure she must’ve waited outside my class nervous and worried as to how I must be doing, since I know I’m going to do the same. That’s how all moms are!! :)

Being Mommy Dearest

I’ve always been in love with kids. Being the youngest one in our family I’ve been lucky to see and spend a lot of time with the younger versions of my elder cousins. It gave me a high when their cute little kids came up to me and said, ‘Bhua mujhe khana khilao’ or ‘Mujhe Bhua ke saath hi gaadi pe baithna hai’. It was very endearing to see their moms swell with pride when anyone gushed about how lovingly naughty they were.

I always wondered what it’d be like when I’ll have my own little monster. When the doctor broke the news to me I started day-dreaming, and as the D-day was approaching my anxiety knew no bounds. Would he/she be the naughty-n-happy child or would he/she be the irritating-n-howling type? Would he/she really be sweet and cute like the kids they show in those Johnson n Johnson commercials? Expectant moms are filled with so much anticipation I tell you…

Few words of wisdom for anyone who might need them: You might read all kinds of books, attend seminars, take cues from your friends and relatives, but nothing can prepare you for what’s going to come ahead. No one can tell you how special it feels when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time or how irritating it is especially for the new mom to leave her pain aside and attend to her crying ward at night. It is only for us to find out, enjoy and feel nostalgic about in later years.

My son is over a year old. He’s just about started babbling but every time he says something legible I get a kick out of it. He’s one of those restless kinds of kids, roams around in the house all day like a lion patrolling his kingdom, doesn’t mind throwing anything that’ll come in his way. He has a very observant eye. I might forget, but he never fails to remember where I’d hidden the tv remote or which button to press to pick up a call on my cell.

I’m a very impatient person. With him now however I feel a lot calmer and grounded. When I’m upset about something he comes up to me and gives me a peck on my cheek. When I give him a monstrous look for something he’s done, he gives his best smile and makes me laugh. When I spread my arms wide and call him close, he simply runs and comes into my arms. What can I say, it feels awesome!!

There was a scene in FRIENDS when Chandler tells Monica that he wants to have a child with her and that they’ll screw it up in their own special way. I’d liked it. It was both lovable and funny. Don’t all of us want that? To love him, adore him, spoil him, and spank him? There was another scene in FRIENDS when Rachel says, I can do anything with my daughter, I made her! Well...thats true too :)

As kids we probably never realised how much 'work' we were for our parents. But they were always there for us. Even when we sprained our ankle while learning to ride a bicycle, when we scored awfully bad in exams or when we broke our mom's favourite china. Now I can say I do realise that, and feel more regard and love for my parents.

Finally,parenthood is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. It gives a new dimension to your life, makes you more responsible and caring, makes you a better person. I’m sure all dads and moms out there will agree!