Masti and more masti!

A Jr’s on a roll. Every new day seems like a day for new challenges and new pranks. I’ve to agree that it gets the better of my patience and tolerance many times but it’s simply cute the way he pulls off stuff I can’t even imagine. Sharing few of them with you.

I’d bundled up all the clothes to be given in the laundry but somehow one of my tops got left out. I couldn’t sight it but A Jr’s prying eyes caught it right away. He ran ahead of me to fetch it and simply refused to part with it. Curious as to what he’d do with it I let him have it. He directed me to help him put it on and danced away in it, happily and triumphantly!! :D

The other day he tried to climb atop a jar so he could reach onto the kitchen platform and pick up something from there. Worried that he might trip I asked him to get down, which he obviously did not listen to. I pretended to get angry and scold him on which my poor baby made a very bechara face and looked down. Feeling guilty, I started laughing to get him to smile. The prankster looked up and laughed louder than I did and gave me the fooled you expression. :(

I got a whole set of very cute toy cars for him to play with. Not the one to do what is meant to, he likes to do all kind of possible experiments with them; disintegrating all its parts and also reassembling them sometimes, throwing them with full strength to check if they break, and blah blah blah…

He’s learnt to climb on the couch and reach out to the balcony where we put the clothes out to dry. His favourite sport is to remove the clips used to hold the clothes in place and flinging them in the balcony. The washed clothes also land there many times. FYI, it is an extended balcony and doesn’t have a door, so fetching the items back includes climbing down it which is an unpleasant job. Nevertheless… got to do it! :P

I’d also like to add here that my dear friend rohini has given me two awards. Thanks dear…you’re so very sweet to find me worthy of them!! 

Tring Tring....Who's there??

When mobile phones were introduced in the market they were seen more of an improvised and modified version of a cordless phone with certain unseen and unheard of features. From being the ones adhering only to the basic purpose of their conception viz making and receiving calls, an address book for contacts and having an easily operable and usable technology, they’ve surely come a long way.

They now store images, songs and videos and have an ever increasing memory with the help of memory cards. They provide you with cameras, radio and voice recording facility. I can go on and on. But this post is not about the umpteen positive and/or negative effects and after-effects of mobiles. I intend to speak about the time when there was no such concept as a mobile.

The first memory of a telephone I have is that of a heavy black instrument (rotary) we had at our place. It had a dial in front of it, the typical sorts we had back then wherein one had to insert a finger/pen/pencil/spoon in the hollow above the desired number and roll it upto the end point. We kids were warned to be careful with it since the receiver too was not easy for us to handle. I remember the excitement of us kids when it went all trrriiing trrriiing and we ran to answer the phone.

Years went by and the form of the telephone evolved into sophisticated light-weighted sleek models which gave way to press-in buttons and redial, call waiting and address book facility. Not only this, they now give you choices for ringtones too. Answering machines are an added feature. The uses are plenty.

One thing however which has not and will not evolve is the way people talk and answer on phones. Phone etiquette surely has fewer buyers. Even now, at my Mom’s I had to answer to people who were ranging from pathetic to downright rude. Here go some of the conversations:

Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring…
Me:  Hello
Some Aunty *sounding surprised* (why??): Who is it?
Me: You tell me
Aunty *Very stylishly brazen*: I'm Mrs. XYZ...can I talk to Mrs.ABC (my Mom)?
Me: She can't come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?
Aunty *Uncertainly* : I'm not sure I can tell you. I'll call back.

Aunty hangs up. I’m bewildered. Can’t I take down a message properly or these people are discreet the Osama way??

Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring…
Me: Hello
Some Aunty : Hello…is this Varsh?
Me *Happily* : Yes Aunty…How are you?
Some more banter on how, when, where about me and her.
Me: Mom’s not at home…is there some message for her?
Aunty: I wanted to invite her at my place for a party. *Accusingly* But you’re at home so probably she won’t come. Just tell her I called.

Aunty hangs up. I’m feeling incredibly insulted. Do I need her permission to come to my place???

And finally….

Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring… Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring… (the call gets cut before I can answer it)
Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring…
Me (running to get to it) *Breathlessly* : Hello
A hoarse voice: Can’t you pick up the phone?
Me: Huh...Who is it?
XYZ: Now you don’t even recognize my voice?
Me *Uncertain* : I’m sorry I’m not getting you, who’s it?
XYZ: I’m the so and so of your so and so who live in Amravati.
Me: What? We don’t have anyone in Amravati…

No points for guessing it was a wrong number and I realized it only after my head had started spinning wildly ‘se of the family tree the man insisted I should consider. Needless to say, this time I hung up!

I know of many people (me included) who prefer mobiles over landlines. They are easy to carry and enable constant contact with anyone at all times. It comes with its baggage though. Its not a rare sight to find people screaming loudly into their phones in public places due to bad network or even going overtly mushy and embarrassing people around them. What more, even wrong numbers on mobiles are common now! Whatever the mode, I’d suggest people conduct themselves well and let others be too.

About A and A

Here’s one incident, please tell me what to make of this ‘se I don’t know how I should react.

Me and both Papa and son A were taking an evening walk yesterday. Since A Junior is an accident-prone prankster my eyes were glued on him, especially after he twisted and turned in exasperation to release his hand from mine. He was dancing merrily on the road and attracting every passer-by’s attention. No need to point out that my heart swelled with pride and I was smiling away to glory :)

Now, while I was busy ogling at my kid two boys, who appeared in their teens, passed by us. A Junior who was looking and smiling at me suddenly stopped and turned to look at those two till they were out of sight. I was startled and asked A to help me fathom just what happened.

A smirked mischievously and told me that those boys had been staring at me and A Junior was returning them just that, only his stare was ‘cold and hard’(Yeah right!).

Now, wasn’t A supposed to react to this? While he was quiet and nonchalant, A Junior became my ‘protective’ son who at least gave them the ‘stare’! When I complained about this to A, he shrugged it off saying, ‘You’re looking pretty, and they just looked at you, not like they misbehaved or anything. Big Deal!’

Well??

The Hi-Five Tag!

This tag has been created by yours truly and the questions are all impulsive. I know my friends will have a great time answering them. All the while they'll remember me (if only to curse me) and will endlessly scratch their heads, which is exactly what I want!

It is simple. Answer the following five questions and kindly update it in my comments section once you're done so I can see them. You have to tag 5 more people.

5 pathetically horrible movies you’ve seen
1.Saawariya(Everyone has to agree with this!)
2.Prem (Yeah! I saw this one!)
3.300 (Blood and only blood everywhere...felt like puking)
4.Ramsay brothers' horror movies (As a kid they scared me but now I find them rather foolish)
5.The whole Scary Movie series (Very vulgar and utterly disgusting spoofs on some good movies!)
 

5 accessories you can create out of food 

1.Rings made out of round-cut green chillies with cloves used as diamonds
2.Bracelets made out of noodles and held together by colourful bell peppers cut in julianne
3.Spring onions used as flowers and spinach as leaves in hair
4.Any type of berries used as a solitaire
5.An ensemble of fruits made up into a hat

5 places where you won’t be seen dead at 
1.Any of the Chowpatty's in Mumbai...I have zero tolerance for the stink, dirt and shopwallahs there :(
2.Having my own Swayamvar on TV! (even if I wasn't married!) :P
3.Any Himesh Reshammiya concert...even if I was paid to see it!
4.Singing or dancing on any public platform!
5.Unisex salons (The idea never settles in, just don't know why!)

5 people you’d love to hit, anytime, anywhere
1.My brother ( Its like an instinct) :)
2.My old friends (They're pretty much used to be hit by me :))
3.Our laundry boy ( Just when we're ready to hit the bed he presses our doorbell, many times!!)
4.Our nosy neighbour who thinks her misbehaving kids are very adorable and belongs to the 'know-it-all' category
5.Receptionists/nurses in clinics (they're all made from the same dough,khadoos and very rude)

5 things you’d do to scare anybody
1.Keep giving someone missed calls. When that person calls up don't pick up the phone. Once the initial irritation subsides he's sure to get scared :)
2.Tell my friend who borrowed my bike that it has no brakes, just after he's picked up speed :P
3.Bang something on the floor or burst a balloon when everyone's watching something 'serious' on TV ;)
4.Minutes before your exam is scheduled to begin tell an already nervous friend that there's been some last minute change and instead of X you now have Y paper (Ouch!)
5.(I did this one and my Mom was just one step short of slapping me!) Hide under the sofa around bed time and make everyone look around for you.

I tag Nu, G, Comfy, T and Reflections!!

Go have fun! :D

The Line Tag!

Nu tagged me on this.There are certain rules to be followed which are these:

1. On your blog, provide a link to the Great Bong’s page, May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss.

2. Then write down your top 10 Hindi movie lines or top 10 English movie lines (You can do both if you want. Only one set is required for the contest). If you cannot think of top 10, make it top 5. Cannot think of even 5? Make it top 3. No problem. Only restriction: no two lines from same movie. This is done to make it fair for other movies so that they don’t get swamped by Gunda or Loha or Sholay.

3. Tag your friends to do the same.

4. Come over to the comment-space of this post and post your blog’s link so I can go and read it.

Remember: Before starting the tag, paste points 1 and 4 on your blog so that the rules are available to anyone who wishes to pick the tag up from your blog.

Here are some of our very own Hindi movie lines! :D

(Kindly ignore any minor discrepancies in the dialogues...these are closest to what my memory could recall)

1. Aaj maut ke saath apun ka appintment hai...kya..appintment - Agneepath

Amitabh Bacchan in (his award winning performance and the 'baap' of all 'bhaigiri' films) his intro scene with Vikram Gokhale

2. Jinke ghar sheeshe ke hote hain wo doosro ke gharon pe patthar pheka nahi karte - Waqt

Raj Kumar to the villain of the film

3. Bahot bhook lagi hai kuch khane ko milega - Hum Tum

Saif Ali Khan to Rani Mukherjee when he lands up at her place past midnight

4.Maine Draupadi ka cheer-haran ka idea drop kar diya hai - Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro

Naseeruddin Shah in the famous play which was probably the first ever spoof on Mahabharata

5.Perfection se improve karna thoda mushkil hai - Dil Chahta Hai

Who else, Aamir Khan to Akshaye Khanna

6.Aye Amar isme to goli hi nahi hai - Andaz Apna Apna

(Couldn't ignore this one :))

Salman Khan to Aamir Khan on having a pistol with no bullets in a fight scene

7.Kaun ashfaq miyan keh rahe hain...bade mazakiye ho - Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham

Introduction scene of Kajol and Shahrukh Khan

8.Daag daman pe nahi dil pe liya hai humne  - Kabhi Kabhi

Amitabh Bacchhan to Shashi Kapoor on his past with Rakhi

9. Dost jab fail hota hai to bura lagta hai, par dost jab first aaye to aur bhi bura lagta hai - 3 Idiots

Madhavan and Sharman Joshi after Aamir Khan tops the exams

and finally....

10. Itna sannata kyun hai bhai - Sholay

A. K.Hangal to his 'gaonwale'

(Who could've left this one out!!!)

Nu tagged almost each and everybody, but let me see...I tag...rohini, Reflections, Addy, Brij!

  

Now go on...Enjoy!!! :)

Ring that wedding bell!

 
Few days ago I received a call from A’s cousin, T, who was complaining about some girl his parents have seen for him and how he wants the matter to be put on hold. Following this I had a long discussion with his mother aka my aunt-in-law, but determined as she was, she paid no heed to my defences, all my convincing powers failed and the ‘ladka dikhane ka program’ went ahead as planned.

The girl’s family visited their place and as I hear, looked visibly impressed. After all, who wouldn’t like his daughter to be married to a guy who has a good job, good social standing and a good family background?! They invited our family over to their place to proceed, now with ‘ladki dikhana’.

So now we’re here. Our family’s waiting for an auspicious occasion to go see her. From what I saw in her bio-data, the girl’s good-looking, well-educated and belongs to a good family. ‘Reports’ about the girl have also been favourable. My aunt-in-law has decided that she’ll complete all the minor formalities to ‘book’ the girl before any wrong-doer turns up and messes the whole thing.( You've got to be kidding!!)

T is shaking in his shoes since he feels its all happening a bit too soon. He called me up again to share his nervousness and his inability to compel his parents to take it slow. Here’s how our conversation went:

T : Bhabhi, Mom and Dad have already decided on what all they’ll give the girl once everything falls in place!
Me: Why don’t you tell them you want more time to think?
T: I tried, but you know them na..they are saying there’s a right time for everything and there’s no point in waiting now.
Me: Do you not like the girl? Tell them so..
T: No no..there’s nothing wrong with the girl. I’ve heard only good things about her from everywhere.
Me: Then what’s the problem?
T: If I get married I’ll loose my freedom. I won’t be able to come home and leave at my own will.
Me: This will happen even if you marry after 5 yrs. You have certain responsibilities after marriage. What’s wrong in that?
T:  May be you’re right. But what about my freedom?

And the same thing continued for another hour.....grrrrr……Gimme a break!
Now, if you ask me I’m kind of confused as to what T exactly wants. If he wants to marry, why not just accept it and marry! Or may be he enjoys us trying to persuade him to do it. May be he enjoys the attention.  Honestly, it gets a boring after I’ve repeated the same things to him over and over again.

But as they say, marriage comes with a baggage, so आलिया भोगासी असावे सादर !!

Finally I join in..

Everybody’s reading, writing and talking about books these days, so I figured I need to join too. Although I have to ruefully agree that my toddler doesn’t allow me the luxury of enjoying a good read, I’m taking time out to read some not-so-serious books that do not require continuity or attention. One such book that I read sometime back was ‘ The Inscrutable Americans’.

 

The story is about a typical Indian village boy Gopal who arrives in the US for further studies. The son of  a hair-oil manufacturer, although he’s very good at academics and a near-genius in his subject he’s a goofy character who’s as inscrutable to the westerners as they are to him.
 

The book talks about the various mishaps and misadventures that take place with him. Starting from eating beef to finding a girl who he can lose his virginity to, he does things he’d never dream of doing in his own village. His interaction with other students in his campus and the oddities he has to face while coming to terms with the never-seen-before surroundings are humorously described.
 

The ‘culture shock’ that the sweet and innocent Gopal experiences and the way he matures towards the end for good are nicely depicted. The story seems very real, and succeeds in making us realize the need to exercise tolerance for and understanding of different cultures.
 

Do not expect a masterpiece and you’ll surely like it.

Whose Accent is it anyway?

I was loitering around a shop yesterday looking for something I could pick up, nothing specific in mind. Just then two girls, may be around 20, came and stood behind me. Both of them kept talking non-stop, without the slightest care that there was someone standing within audible range. I tried not to listen, but failed. All other things aside, what did strike as amusing to me was the accent they were talking in.  
 

It was the unmistakable ‘made-up’ accent we find common amongst most teenagers and call-centre people these days. Strained, deliberate and trying-too-hard-to-sound-right type. The use of correct words and grammar didn’t really seem to bother them a lot, but their ‘accent’ never slipped. Someone sure did a clean job! Kudos!
 

With the increasing influence of the west on our youth and our culture(and call centres mushrooming in every nook and corner of metros) a new breed of people is coming up slowly and steadily, the ones that are confused and pathetically caught between the two. These are the ones who would go to any lengths to be a part of the ‘hep-n-happening’ crowd. So to begin with, this ‘fake’ accent is a reliable style-mantra. It’s hilarious seeing these people rattle something that’s not easy for them to understand.
 

This whole ‘accented’ speaking is not new to us Indians though. If we travel the length and breadth of India we’ll find a new culture and a new language every few hours. Every state has a different language, a different tone, a different dialect that identifies every person belonging to that region.  That’s why we’d never confuse a Bengali with a South-Indian or a Gujrati with a North-Indian. It is what we can call the ‘gift of the land’.
 

Let’s ask ourselves this: is it necessary to have an accent? Well, I don’t think so. I feel an accent is not learnt, it is acquired. The language that we’ve been speaking since childhood sure has a strong imprint on us, and it does come out even when we’re talking in some other language.
 

As far as British and American accents are concerned, the way English is used and taught in these countries is very different from us. The rolling of tongue, the pronunciation, the stressing on words is different. Hence to acquire it is quite an exercise for us.
 

Personally, I’m proud of the fact that I don’t have an accent. If I want, I can learn any language and use it like I’m born with it. Nothing can give me away. This I feel is better than the ‘fake’ accents people pick up and revel on. Are they so fixated not to understand that people can see through them?
 

It is not just about the way of speaking; our roots, our education, our individuality make us the person we are.  All these put together certainly can give us the confidence and poise that nothing else can. Hence accent or no accent, what really matters is our belief in us. We shouldn’t feel the need to portray ourselves as someone we’re not or even try to hide what we are.
 

Finally, whether accents are good/essential/stylish or not is a debatable issue, and I’d leave it to others to decide. To each his own!

Take these signs seriously! ;)

 

  

  

  

  

  

 

Can't you see...I'm busy!!

The other day while I was enjoying my rare and leisurely afternoon nap I received a tele-marketing call from some girl who was trying to sell me an add-on card on my number. Highly annoyed though I was, I couldn’t bring myself to get rude with that poor girl who was just doing her job. With as much politeness as I could muster, I told her that I was busy and hung up.

It then struck me, how often do we use the excuse ‘I’m busy’ or ‘I’ve been busy’ or ‘I was busy’ to find our way out of a tricky situation? This sure has happened a lot with every one of us. Most of us will agree, many times this expression is used as a euphemism for ‘F*** off!!!’

With the increasing popularity and use of social networking websites it has become quite simple to find, connect and bond with your long-lost friends. Along with them even the ones who you hated back then. Imagine when such a mind-numbing creature from your past finds your whereabouts and contacts you and complains that you haven’t been in touch. What do you say? ‘I’ve been busy mate!!’

So, there was a wedding at some relative’s place and your whole family went for it. You didn’t have the slightest care or inclination to attend and after a lot of heated argument you were allowed to stay back. After few days you meet that relative somewhere and for not showing up in the wedding the excuse you give is, ‘Uncle, I was busy preparing for my exams’.

This is not used or meant only as an excuse every time. Remember the time in college when we hung out with our gang of friends? Whatever the situation or time our friends were always there for us. As we get older however, everything changes. Even if we need to talk to our old friend now, we need to consult the calendar first, if only to make sure we’re not disturbing him. And more so, it breaks our heart when he does pick up the call but before we can even say ‘Hi…’ he says he’s busy and will call back.

This also is sort of a fashion-statement. It does not feel stylish to let people know that you’re not doing anything and have all the time in the world. So just to keep up that rep of yours, you don’t pick up your ringing phone quickly even if its right next to you, or better still, let the call go into missed calls! What, are you just sitting idle to take people's calls? Didn’t the caller know? That time of the day… ‘YOU’RE BUSY!!!’

Butterflies in my stomach :)

Every one of us has heard about the phrase ‘having butterflies in one’s stomach’ and undoubtedly experienced it on various occasions in our life. It is that uneasy feeling we get in our stomach when we know that something wrong's happened or is about to happen. It may be nervous apprehension due to an unexpected turn of events. I have tried to list few instances when these butterflies start fluttering in our stomach ;)

As a child:
1. You broke the glass of your very irritating, loud and belligerent neighbour’s window. Unfortunately before you could reach home and butter your parents with your sugar-coated excuse he’s already there!
2. This one’s happened with everyone. You completed your homework (really?) and forgot your notebook on your study table. Your strict teacher will be very upset and punish you.
3. You accidentally broke your elder sibling’s favourite toy/doll while he/she was away.
4. You drew your most imaginative doodles on dad’s important papers.

As an adolescent:
1. You steal your dad’s car keys and go out for a drive with your friends. You break signals, get caught speeding, but the worst part comes when your dad’s friend spots you.
2. Your sibling calls you to inform you that your mom found that hidden pack of cigarettes and magazines in your closet.
3. Engineering students can identify with this. The day of submissions and you realize there’s one full sheet you forgot to make!
4. You bunk classes and go for a movie and bump into another professor there.

As an adult:
1. You have no money on you and the ATM swallows your card.
2. You mistakenly tell your khadoos boss the wrong time for a meeting.
3. You’re enjoying a cup of coffee with your girlfriend when incidentally another one turns up there.
4. For some people this one sure is, proposing…!

This is indeed an inclusive list. There are many many more such situations. Inputs are valuable and welcome :)