Meeting the Parents

Mera dil bhi kitna pagal hai ye pyar to tumse karta hai

Par saamne jab tum aate ho kuch bhi kehne se darta hai…

(My silly hearts loves you, but is afraid to confess it in your presence)

What I’m about to say might not be in the same context as this song, but comes closest to it. Normally A’s the perfect husband; considerate, caring, helping. I’ve happily confessed many times on my blog that I feel blessed to be married to a gem like him. He’s more resilient than I ever can be and can tolerate my insanity and temper with surprising ease. He showers me with endless ‘I Love You’s , random pecks and hugs are aplenty, making me feel like a very desirable queen! :)

Having said that, there’s another side to this story in which the queen magically gets converted into a make-shift stranger. And it does not feel good! :(

Let me elaborate a bit on this. One thing that me and A end up arguing most when at my in-laws’ place is his indifference towards me. When we’re on our own I’m at liberty to voice my opinion and behave according to my wish and will. But in front of his parents I’m expected to blindly follow their rules, no matter how demeaning and chauvinistic they are. The usual excuse is, ‘Follow them for as long as you’re here. You’re free to do what you want at our place’. Is there really the need to have such double standards, especially when I detest it from the core?

Forget about the cute mushy habits, I know they are tough to follow (the concept of stolen moments is lost on him) when there’s people just about everywhere. But aren’t there simple things that can convey love too? Or is it a taboo to express your feelings when your parents are around? The MIL doesn’t mind claiming full right on her son for as long as we’re there while I’m left sulking and grimacing for not being able to get through to him. Tricky situation, and my loss all the way.

This setting is bearable when the number of days is limited to single digits. When it starts getting longer than that, it becomes a pain and I can’t wait to come back home and get my normal husband back. It is not at all exciting to have to endure all this. I’ve not been able to figure out where exactly the problem lies. Is it the mother who still can’t let go of her son? Or the son who thinks ignoring his wife would make his mother feel better? Or the stupid belief that we need to bow down to our elders’ wishes at all times?

Whatever the case, I don’t see myself being freed from this maze anytime soon.

My 'Man'ly sins and me! (edited)

I was having the time of my life reading everyone’s sinful confessions, not worried in the least to think of my sins even once. Pinsy tagged me to do this (!) and before everyone claims my sins along with theirs, I’m doing it right away.

IHM has created this interesting tag. It goes like this – The tag is called ‘My Sins against Gender-Stereotypes’. You are to list at least ten things you have ever wanted or done which your gender is not supposed to and tag twelve blogging friends to come out with their sins ;)

1.There seems to be a collective obsession for SUVs amongst girls and I’m no exception! I’ve been in love with Land Cruiser ever since I set my eyes on it few years back. Buying it would imply me robbing a bank or something, so I’m ready to settle for a Tata Safari :)

2.I’m a Mechanical engineer and was the only girl amongst 75 boys in my class. Girls from other branches joked that I blended so well with them that it was impossible to spot me in a group!:P

3.I love speed and have been reprimanded by my parents countless times for it. At times I was threatened with dire consequences if I didn’t keep check on the speedometer. And oh yes, my Kinetic had very loose brakes too :P

4.My beautician always complained that I was her lousiest client. My eyebrows, hands, legs resembled a mini-jungle whenever I went to her. She tried to make me understand the rewards of being well-kept, but finally gave up for good. :/

5.Just let someone say I cannot do something ‘se I’m a girl, and he/she can be sure I’ll prove him/her wrong! There’s a rebel in me who refuses to acknowledge the belief that choices/preferences/opportunities/endurance are gender-dependant.

6.If being a girl means crying at the drop of a hat or being hyper-sensitive and delicate, then I don’t fit the bill for sure. I’ve always been the rugged one, cold and distant. I prefer being on my own and cry in solitude.

7.I swear sometimes when I’m upset, a big no-no for an acche ghar ki ladki. This is too much to comprehend since I’ve never heard A swear in 4 years of our married life. I still remember the incredulous look on his face when he’d heard me swear for the first time. :O

8.For a better part of my childhood I had a boy-cut and loved it. Some people even mistook me for a boy once. Even now, many times I have this sweeping urge to snip my long tresses and get that very comfortable zero maintenance haircut back!:)

9.I do not qualify to be the cover model for the most dutiful bahu! I’ve done things (which I wouldn’t like to confess here) which would give the MIL a heart-attack of sorts if she ever finds out about them. My stance is clear, obeying but non-committal.

10.I love the feeling of love and all that it entails but I can’t stand a lot of mush. I hate reading romantic novels. And more so, I hate sharing personal things with others like most girls do. It seems very tacky to me.

So there…my sins are out in the open. Doesn't feel less of a girl,really!
Need to get back to being a pampering Mom and loving wifey mode anyway ;)

Here are few people who's sins I'd love to know : Garf Rohini   Nu Preeti D Titaxy Analyst Reflections Zephyr G Chatterbox Psych Babbler

And yes, most people I know have been tagged already, so those who haven't done it already consider yourself tagged and drop a comment...would love to read your sins too :D

Go strike it!

Pins tagged me with this one. Though it took more time to complete than I’d expected, I enjoyed doing it!

      1.       Graduated high school – Ofcourse!

2.      Kissed someone – I’d be a waste if I didn’t! :D

3.      Smoked a cigarette – Never! And don’t even intend to..

4.      Got so drunk you passed out – Nopes.

5.      Rode every ride at an amusement park – Always. It’s a must-do!

6.      Collected something stupid – No. Nothing I buy is stupid for me.

7.      Gone to a rock concert – No.

8.      Helped someone – Yes. As much as I can, always.

9.      Gone fishing – No. I’m a vegetarian. What’s the point? :P

10.   Watched four movies in one night – College life. Hah!

11.    Lied to someone – Yes. Haven’t we all?

12.   Snorted cocaine – No. Never!

13.   Smoked weed – Why, no again!

14.   Failed a subject – No. Was close to it, but got saved! (grace marks zindabad!)

15.   Been in a car accident – Yes. I wasn’t behind the wheel though, and it was the day I met A for the first time. (No, we didn’t hit him)

16.   Been in a tornado – Thankfully, no.

17.   Watched someone die – No. Hope I won’t too, I’m hyper-sensitive.

18.   Been to a funeral – Yes, unavoidable.

19.   Burned yourself -  I’ve lost the count of it! Everything from hot pans, tawas and even hot oil have done their job well!

20.  Run a marathon – In school, yes. Would love to be a part of one now.

21.   Cried yourself to sleep – Yes, many times.

22.  Spent over 10,000 bucks in one day – I’m capable of spending more!! :D ;)

23.  Flown on an aeroplane – Yes.

24.  Cheated on someone – I hope not.

25.  Been cheated on – Yes.

26.  Written a 10 page letter – Don’t have that much patience! A long mail qualifies?

27.  Gone skiing – No L

28.  Been sailing – Yes yes, and I loved it!

29.  Cut yourself – Many times.

30.  Had a best friend – Wrong question! Best friends are applicable only in present and future tense.

31.   Lost someone you loved - We all have, some or the other way.

32.  Got into trouble for something you didn't do – Oh yes! Ask Nu, she knows.

33.  Stolen (yes :P) borrowed (yes) a book from a library - I forgot to return it, so that means I stole it right?

34.  Gone to a different country – Yes.

35.  Watched the Harry Potter movies – Yes, but not all of them. I’m not too much into special effects aided movies.

36.  Had an online diary – Yes, safe and secure, far from all prying eyes.

37.   Fired a gun - Yes. At fairs, for bursting balloons :D

38.  Gambled in a casino – No. But I did play a lot of those coin games at clubs.

39.  Been in a school play – Yes. College plays were more enjoyable though.

40. Been fired from a job – No. Kiski majaal hai ki ye gustakhi kare??:P

41.   Taken a lie detector test – No.

42.  Swam with dolphins – I can’t swim, can I try that with safety jackets?? :P

43.  Voted for someone on a reality TV show – Yes, did that only once for Rahul Vaidya, cute guy, but wasn't foolish enough to repeat it.

44. Written poetry- Yes yes yes.

45.  Read more than 20 books a year – No! I lose interest if it’s overdone.

46. Gone to Europe – No.

47.  Loved someone you shouldn’t have – Confusing question!!

48. Used a colouring book over age 12 – Yes.

49. Had a surgery – No,Thank God!! I’m too scared of it.

50.  Had stitches – No again!!

51.   Taken a taxi – Ofcourse, what’s there to ask in this??

52.  Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once – Yes.

53.  Been is a fist fight – Ya ya, my brother was my favourite assailant and prey!:D

54.  Suffered any form of abuse - No.

55.  Had a pet – No. Dad didn’t like pets. Want to get a goldfish when A Jr grows up a bit.

56.  Petted a wild animal – No!

57.   Had your own credit card & bought something with it – No, I prefer swiping debit cards. Have used A’s credit cards sometimes.

58.  Dyed your hair – Yes.

59.  Got a tattoo – Yes. All sorts, ranging from flowers to Power Puff girls to cars!

60. Had something pierced – Oh yes. I wear three pairs of earrings (Absolutely love it!) and a nose ring too!

61.   Got straight A’s – We didn’t have grades, but I always managed to get good marks.

62.  Known someone personally with HIV or AIDS – No.

63.  Taken pictures with webcam – Yes, my Gtalk pic for one :D

64. Lost something expensive – Yes.

65.  Gone to sleep with music on – Music I don’t think, but lights yes.

I’m not tagging anyone with this one since Pins tagged a lot of people already. Whoever wants can pick this up! All yours! 

Another one on Blogging

Nu says she’s a Blogoholic and Pins says she’s addicted. If given a chance we’d all attach many such similar adjectives to our names. Blogging is like that one drug which when administered in our body even once enters our bloodstream in such a way that it makes us crave for it more and more. Right?

We write once and we’ve to write more…we read once and we’ve to read more…we comment on some blog and come back to see ours to check if our gesture has been returned :P…we pick out our favourite ones and follow them…we voice our thoughts and opinions freely…talk about issues bothering us without having to bother about the repercussions…its a virtual world but still so real..

All this is much beyond non-bloggers though. For them such cute little paranoia’s are comparable with temporary insanity and obsessive Blogomania! Don’t agree with me?? I’ll tell you what all I’ve had to endure after being a part of this world.

After returning home from work the first thing A asks me everyday, ‘ So did you write a post today?’ (Hello…what happened to the ‘How was your day’ routine?)

He simply has to see what I’m reading! He reads posts from over my shoulders standing behind me and then says, ‘What’s the big deal behind writing this? So and so happened with so and so, what’s there to write about it?’ (I didn’t call him to read it now, did I?)

I’m commenting on someone’s post. He has to point out atleast once that if its not compulsory why do I have to do it at all. I’ve to think and comment, so why the needless stress on the brain?

This one is funny. I follow a lot of people many of whom don’t follow me back. Nevertheless I visit their blogs and read them regularly. He seems to not like it. He says I must get them to read me! Doesn’t that sound desperate and needy I ask. He doesn’t answer but stands firm on his views :P

If I’m chatting with someone on Gtalk he asks me, ‘So is this person your school friend/college friend/colleague/acquaintance or most likely a blog friend? Don’t you guys talk too much on blogs already?’

Many more such things to add, but you already know what I mean to say right? The concept is completely lost on these people. Smartly judging that such remarks invite only my wrath he’s learnt to hold his tongue on few occasions. Good for him.

Notwithstanding his comments I love to be here and will continue to do so, always :)

On summers and Adios!

‘I want to have summer vacations now like we had when we were kids!’ I told A the other day, out of the blue.

Slightly perplexed, A replied with a couple of questions, ‘What would you do if you did have summer vacations? What did you do back then?’

‘Well…I went to my Mama’s(maternal Uncle) place…met all my cousins..had a blast with them..ate lots of mangoes…watched TV all the time..slept on the terrace and got up only when the sun seemed like it was torching my skin..played all kinds of games…in short…it was masti time!’ I went on and on…oh such nostalgic moments! :)

‘Wow…sounds fun…what’s stopping you then? You can do all of that even now. It’ll be a good break for you from the monotony out here. Want me to make your travel arrangements?’ A was being incredibly supportive. *Danger/Confusion/Jhol alert*

Weighing my options and scrutinizing the whole scene clearly made me realize that what seemed very simple in theory was far too tricky practically. Some of my cousins are working and won’t get holidays easily, the ones who are studying have some or the other classes to attend even during this time. I’m on a 'losing weight’ mission and have to seriously cut down calories, so mangoes have to be limited too (sulk..sulk..sulk). I don’t have any deadline for watching TV now, in fact I’m kind of bored with the whole lot of nonsense shown on it nowadays. And most important, if I go to my Mama’s place I’ll have to cancel going to my Mom’s since A Junior has limited summer vacations. Where does that leave me then? Do I really want this? *Wondering endlessly*

As if reading my thoughts, A, my knight in shining armour came to my rescue. ‘Changes happen in our life, many times without our knowledge and consent, but they do. Our priorities change, and so do our responsibilities. Mom did her best by making sure you got a slice of that fun at your Mama’s place by sending you there. It’s your turn now. You’ve to let A Junior spend time with his family, his Grandmas and Grandpas, his Uncles and Aunts and his sweet little cousin. We’ve been there, done that. Let him get all the pampering too!’ He said matter-of-factly, knowing this was exactly what I wanted to hear.

I hate to admit, but he was right. Although we’d love to be spoilt all our lives and refuse to grow up ever, it’s an imperative phase of our life and we have to accept it whole-heartedly. Childhood is the best time of our life, and gives us lovely memories for a lifetime. We can tuck those moments away safely in some corner of our mind and look back at them fondly, whenever we want.

Having said that, I’d like to inform all my dear friends out here that I’m going to be away from our blog world for the next few days. I’m off on a holiday and won’t be carrying my laptop with me. Would try and keep up with you guys, going to miss you all! You all are such lovely people! Adios! :)