Food For Thought

Shifting base to WP

2011-12-22T02:21:00.000-08:00

Dear readers,

Like I mentioned in my last post I've finally decided to switch to Wordpress. The humbling support and encouragement I got from all of you here is expected there too!

Here's my new url : AVibrant Pallet

Hope to see you there! Ciao!

The place I call Home

2011-12-13T20:12:00.000-08:00

It's done and is ready to come out in the open. It has a new address, a new ring to its name, and still is the good old me. Personalising has become a whole new experience with it. I’ve been spending a considerable amount of time on trying to give it a spanking new look, and I must say, it is quite alluring. Why then haven’t I yet shared it with all of you? I don’t know!

The identity in question is a new blog that I’ve been meaning to put up at Wordpress (actually I have already put it up). I’d signed up a few months ago, while the whole ‘importing’ my older posts from Blogger happened few days back.

I was mighty glad to be able to upload the pictures of my choice and had a beautiful collage prepared for the same. The choice of themes had changed; the appearance was fresh and different.I could do away with some of the many widgets on my blog which I’ve hardly ever used. In short, it was like buying a new house and renovating it for comfort, with your signature touch. I always liked the various new features that Wordpress offered and was curious to try them out.

Having said all this, I haven’t yet made my blog public. Wonder whether it is the confidence and comfort that comes with familiarity or the affection one has with a maiden project, I’m just not able to give this blog up. I’ve not been regular enough with this one itself, maintaining two would be ridiculous. For me writing is fun when it's done by choice, and boring when it is just for the sake of it.

Also comes the question of losing out on my readers who'll need to change my url everywhere. And what happens next? If I get bored with Wordpress in some time will I need to create a new blog again? What is wrong with this one then? This too has been autographed (!) by me (Check out my digital signature)! :D

I’m not able to find a solution for my quandary. Shall I give this one up and start the new one or shall I let the new one remain under wraps like it is now? Many of you have gone through this dilemma. Any suggestions?

Err...is that really you??

2011-12-11T21:56:00.000-08:00

Does internet offer the same opportunities to everyone in general, like Bigg Boss offers to its contestants? Does it give you the chance to live the identity that you always craved for? Does allowing you to put yourself up on a public platform and creating an image that is unbeknownst to a lot of people, ultimately not lead you towards an identity crisis?

These questions have been playing in my mind since a long time, and once and for all, I want to get them out of my system. Why has internet become such an inseparable part of our lives is beyond at times. I've gone on long hiatuses, as my readers know, and although I did miss the interaction and sharing of ideas, it wasn't like my life came to a standstill.

There were many things I wanted to write about which might remain unsaid, there might be many posts written by our wonderful bloggers that I might've liked to read but missed (which I can always go back to by the way!), there might be experiences with A Jr that would stay in my memory and camera forever but which never made it here, and so on.

There are things about me that even my friends never knew before and which they do now, thanks to my blog and FB. They didn't know that I could write and that I was interested in poetry. Although its amusing when I tell them that its a hobby I've been harbouring for ages, its a little sad that my 'little secret' is out. No one forced me to do that though, isn't it? Then do I have the right to complain? I don't know.

Most people from my childhood would remember me as reticent and an introvert. I was a very nervous kid and unfamiliarity with anything would freak me out. I had very few close friends and wasn't open even with them. I'd find disagreeing with anyone insulting to them and often ended up doing stuff I never wanted to. I think you get the picture, if only a vague one.

Now its me here, the same person. Discussing love, life and A Jr, without the slightest hesitation, even when I know many of my readers personally. I find myself updating status messages on FB, sometimes out of boredom and sometimes out of compulsion (like many many others, mind you!). I have something to comment now, a practice I strictly reserved to myself earlier. In other words, I've come out of my shell and how.

Having said that,I have to agree that in person there hasn't been a very drastic change in me now, though I'm not as docile as I was before. I have a strong opinion and have the courage to stand by it. I'm more 'out there' now, even though I'm never comfortable in a crowd. There's an improvement, but its when I'm online that I become more vocal.

We form an opinion about people from what we see and read about them, but its genuineness can never be gauged correctly. We might make countless friends here, but wouldn't know what they're made of unless we see them in person. Wouldn't it be like some sort of alternate personality then?

Coming back to my questions in the start of this post, I guess everyone would have his/her own take on it. Would love to know what you feel.

The hand that rocks the cradle...

2011-12-07T04:23:00.000-08:00

Leaving one's comfort zone is never easy. The nervousness of stepping into a new world, of seeing and meeting people we don’t know properly, the perplexity of how to blend in when at times you simply won’t want to, the thought of changing and sharing your life and everything with and for someone else, and many such baffling questions and sentiments occupy our minds when we make the big shift: marriage.

I might’ve started my post on this note, but it’s not marriage that I’m going to write about. My life has been transformed beyond recognition after A stepped into the life partner’s shoes, but there are some things that just can't be done away with. And for me the first and foremost thing that is simply unchangeable is my dependence on my mother.

A lot has been said about how a mother is the first teacher to her children, how she’s the epitome of love, care and dedication and how important she is in anyone’s life, so I’m not going to repeat any of that stuff. We know that already, don’t we? What I’m interested in are the unique individual traits that separate every single mother from another one.

Having a kid of my own has now made me realise just how handful I must’ve been. I was a very fussy eater even when I was 25 yrs old, was a little brash for a girl, had mood swings which would come unannounced anytime, had demands which would never seem to end, and….well..well…I’m criticizing myself on my own blog, duh! What I want to convey here is that having to deal with me wouldn’t have been at all easy for her, but she did so, wonderfully.

She told me that my life’s decisions were my responsibility and I needed to be answerable for them. She never blamed me for not making it to the top. She celebrated my not-so-good results by taking me out for dinner, just to cheer me up. She was not just my friend but a friend to my friends. She was there every single time I was on stage, for anything, just to watch me. She sacrificed her plans to buy a new ring so I could get my earrings. She cleaned my room, even my cupboard at times, removed clothes that needed washing and replaced them, ironed. She never complained when I misbehaved, only silently allowed that teardrop fall down her cheeks, when I apologised.

When I left my house for the first time, for pursuing my post-graduation, she cried like she’d never see me again. Although she slowly started pursuing her interests she made it a point to talk to me every single day, a habit she hasn’t left till date. My marriage was a very emotional topic for her and though she never mentioned it upfront I knew she wanted to find a suitable boy for me herself. I happily let her do the honours, and hence came my better half, the one person who could never be replaced by anyone. Am I glad for it now or what?

Even now the mother in her hasn’t let go of her kid daughter a bit. She still worries for the smallest things concerning me, but yes, her encouraging nature hasn’t changed too. When I told her I wanted to study further, she was elated and proud of me. She’s very happy to see the way I’m bringing up A Jr, and says I do a better job than her at times. Boy, could there be a better compliment than this!

So I guess, leaving our comfort zone is not that difficult, when the one person who makes it all happen is there with you, practically or virtually, through phone, emails or messages.

What more can I say…I’m out of words now!

Is my way the right way?

2011-12-02T02:30:00.000-08:00

All of us must've heard the line, 'parents try to relive their childhood through their children' many times. It is not unnatural for parents to be all dreamy-eyed about what future holds for their little ones and expect them to carry forward their name and legacy. Parents have a tendency to assume that the virtues and vices with which they're born and lived with will undoubtedly run down to the next generation. Is it true and does that happen every time? I guess not.

There are lots of things that we, as parents, fail to notice while bringing up our kids whilst unknowingly comparing our ways to the ways of our parents. 'I never had so many toys', 'My father never spent so much time with me', 'My mother was always there for me','I didn't have a cupboard full of clothes' and things like this are pasted all over our minds, and mistakenly we expect our kids to be thankful for the kind of lifestyle we're giving them.For them, this is the way life is, isn't it?

A Jr is just about 3.4 yr old now and I'm amused when people come and ask what plans I have for his future. You're going to make him an engineer like both of you or you're going to put him in Commerce? The world's so full of competition, you think you're choosing the right school for him? Make sure you encourage him to pay attention to extra-curricular activities...and so on. I stare incredulously at them, not knowing the answers to most of these questions.Such a little baby and subjecting him to competition,especially when it is not necessary? Why not let him choose to do what he wants, like I was allowed to? Encouragement is one thing, compulsion is another.

I was always a good student but never the one who stood first in class or brought home medals or certificates. My parents never complained or compared us with the better performing ones around, only motivating us to outperform ourselves. They gave us what we wanted but only after we did something worthy of achieving it.Is it not better to give our kids the same treatment, not bribing but complacently awarding?

I think I've digressed a lot here, but I guess I've made my point too.Wanting our kids to be clones of us is unfair. We might be the best amongst the lot of our time, but its not necessary that our child will be too. If we do something for our kid,it should be out of love,not duty or authority. Let him choose what he wants to. We can only lead the way, walking or not should be in his hands.

Bas Ek Koshish

2011-11-28T06:24:00.000-08:00

I didn't write these lines, they've written themselves. They just came to me and I jotted them down, although they succeed in expressing my state of mind quite accurately.

कोशिश करना आसान है, कोशिश करवाना आसान नहीं

जब हार बैठे हिम्मत ही कोई, कामयाब होता वो इंसान नहीं

कर सकूँगा कुछ मैं या नहीं, क्यूँ सोचके वक़्त बर्बाद करें

बेपर भी हम उड़ पाएंगे, मुमकिन पाया था ज़माने ने?

वक़्त के धुंए ने राहें भुला दी, मंजिल का कहीं निशाँ नहीं

क्या ऐसे में मुमकिन नहीं, नयी राहें हैं रौशन और कहीं?

खुद से या ज़माने से क्यूँ कोई भी कुछ शिकायत करे

चुना ज़िन्दगी को तुम्हारी, क्या एहसान न किया उपरवाले ने?

हमारा हक है कोशिश करना, कामयाबी की शर्त रखना नहीं

जो ख्वाब देखे पूरे होंगे, न हुए भी तो ज़िन्दगी खाली नहीं...

The Magic of Three

2011-08-09T01:03:00.000-07:00

Wow...hadn't written since so long and another post so soon! :)

This post can be considered as a sequel to the last one since it deals with 'motherhood' once again. My little prince, who gave me the chance to be called a mother, who made me experience this lovely feeling by coming in my life, who made me realise that I wasn't a complete woman without him, turns Three today.

Seems like it was just yesterday (and I'm sure I'll feel the same every year!) when I held him in my arms for the first time. Remembering that frail figure, those tiny fingers, that angelic face, that immediate and almost necessary throwing of tantrums, etc. makes me feel like an eternity has passed since.

I can't help but reminisce the time when his standing up on his own feet, his first baby steps and his senseless and unclear blabbering gave me a big high. I longed to hear him say 'Mamma' and understand and reciprocate correctly to my questions. I did everything I could to get him flash me his wonderful smile. I wanted the world to be at his feet and give him each and everything he wanted.

I had to be the tougher one too and instill discipline in him by creating deadlines for his television time and limiting his chocolates. I had to make sure he had his fruits and meals on time and tell him that a bag of chips/burger/pizza is not a replacement for chapatis and vegetables.(Even A had issues accepting these rules! :P) I took all efforts to make him realise the significance of listening to his parents and following their suggestions. In short, I had to act like the villain in our family scene.

But, but, I'm not one! So to counter my acting controlling he gets to sit on the kitchen platform while I cook for him and demand whatever he wants, he gets to choose which movie to see next, he's awarded a new toy every single time we go out,etc.

God, I can go on and on on this, can't I? He's evolved and so have I. Time changes so fast that before you can cease the moment, it's gone. Who once rode a cradle is now in Nursery, and before I know it, will go to college and make a life of his own! Am I over-reacting here? Possibly, but in my place, who wouldn't?

I gave a Bugs Bunny milk chocolate cake in his school for celebrating his birthday today. My kiddo (who wore his new Popeye t-shirt and capris)who was looking like a killer hunk in the making,couldn't get enough of all the attention and was glowing with happiness. When I left him back and came home I almost had a lump in my throat and a feeling of pride in my heart. That, ladies and gentlemen, is A Junior for you!

On Being a Mother Tag :)

2011-08-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

I'm way behind schedule on this one. This might even seem a hasty job since I haven't thought it through, but nevertheless I want to take up this tag that Nu had passed on to me a while ago. Consider this as a Friendship Day gift from me since it managed to break my blogging hiatus! :)

I have to list 5 things that I learnt on being a mother. Honestly and ideally the list would go much longer than that but the kind soul that she is, Nu graced us by attaching a decent limit.

Here's my five things:

1. Patience: This probably holds true for everyone. We've lived our lives as per our time and wishes but a child simply takes away your freedom and independence. You need to eat sleep and live as per his schedule and it can be quite trying at times. God knows it tests the most patient ones of us, but I learnt it! :)

2. Nutrition: Junk food is probably an all time favourite for all of us, but not when it is regarding your child. It is quite tricky to send healthy and nutritious food down that little devil's throat but persistence and some fun recipes pay off. Teaching him to eat good food is tough but somehow I've managed successfully till now.

3. Learning: As adults our learning graph more often than not goes for a toss. We're so happy with what we know that the hunger to know more simply subsides. It is such a delight to see things through your child's eyes and wonder about how and what drives them. It is like growing up all over again.

4. Smiling: Children have the kind of innocence that attracts even strangers. They don't mind smiling at people they don't know and are approachable. Although it is not safe to show this knowing-like attitude towards everyone we meet, a little bit of genuine courtesy is alright, even for us.

5. Honesty: We all lie for some or the other reason; to avoid uncomfortable situations, embarrassment, answering, or just for the sake of it. But children seldom lie unless we teach them to. I like it when A Junior comes to me and confesses that he broke something, instead of placing the blame on someone else. I feel encouraged to follow suit.

So there, a bit hasty, but a tag nevertheless. Hope other blogger Moms out there agree with me too. :)

My Valentine

2011-02-07T22:33:00.000-08:00

(This is my first attempt at story-telling. Any sort of criticism/suggestion is welcome and appreciated)

It is Valentine’s Day. The day of celebrating love and all it entails. The day of happiness, warmth and affection, not only for your partner but for everyone who you share a special bond with. The day on which even the most unromantic person cannot let all the mush around him go unnoticed and is prompted to join the expressing-my-love brigade.

Misha is sitting in her chair quietly witnessing the activity in her crowded neighbourhood through a tightly shut glass window. In her hand is a red rose, now all dried up and flaky, but very carefully preserved in her personal diary over time. Her face looks beaten, her eyes resigned. The tastefully done room around her is in stark contrast to the gloom that is now an integral part of her life.

This day holds a significance in her life that no amount of words can come to measure. She wonders about the antithesis of today compared with her recent past. As she flips through the pages of her personal diary she can’t help but observe how a lifetime of happiness and grief can be experienced by someone in such a short span of time.

Her’s was a whirlwind romance. She was a young girl of 20, a Commerce student, dreamy-eyed, carefree and uncertain of her future. He, Sameer, was 25, a Computer Engineer, smart, intelligent, chivalrous, successful and with a ready smile. They bumped into each other for the first time at a common friend’s party. Cupid struck the moment they were introduced, but both were at such a loss of words that all they could manage was smiling and shying away. The whole evening went in stolen glances, indirect references and non-accidental run-ins until on a friend’s coaxing Sameer went up to Misha and asked her out. She agreed.

A love-struck Misha writes in her diary:

I love even your thought so much,

Can’t imagine how I’ll love you.

‘se even when I think about you,

I feel I’m missing you.

Before their first date was over both of them knew they’d found the ‘one’. They stepped into each other’s lives easily and naturally. They couldn’t bear being apart from each other. When they weren’t together they were constantly in touch on phone. They’d been together for almost a month when Valentine’s Day came. Sameer hadn’t planned it but didn’t want to miss a rather clichéd but very romantic opportunity either. He proposed. She accepted. Meanwhile, he encouraged her to get her first ever accounting job in a small firm.

Glowing, starry-eyed Misha gushes about her love:

My love for you cannot be expressed,

In the warmth of your arms I feel loved and caressed.

You are above all the treasures in the world,

Your love is a precious gift with which I’ve been blessed.

Their wedding was a low-key affair. It was a simple ceremony held in the presence of both their families and close friends. It was by planning, luck or sheer coincidence is tough to comprehend, since that too was Valentine’s Day. Both of them were over the moon and had eyes only for each other. They’d been saving for a rather unusual but immensely exciting and adventurous honeymoon, a trekking trip in the Himalayas. Both of them were very kicked with the idea and were looking forward to have a memorable experience.

Misha writes in her diary during her honeymoon:

Now we’re here it’s just so great,

To be there for the sake of another.

So come ahead and hold me now,

For the world we needn’t bother.

It was the first of the many adventures of life, big and small, planned and unexpected, domestic and professional, that they were going to share together, as one. Theirs was an ideal life; intimate, content and blissful. There was nothing more and nothing else they could wish for.

But just as even a bright sunny day has to make way for the night and happiness has to inevitably be followed by tears, their smooth-sailing journey of life inadvertently hit a roadblock. Misha was planning for a dual celebration, her recent promotion and their second anniversary, when that dreaded call came. As she listened to the person on the other side her suddenly rubbery legs started giving away. She felt the whole room closing in on her until she collapsed on the floor, unconscious. While he was returning home from work Sameer’s car had been run-over by a bus injuring him severely. The bus-driver had sped away for fear of getting caught even while Sameer had been profusely bleeding. He succumbed to his injuries even before help arrived.

What happened in the days after that is too hazy in Misha's memory. She recalls being surrounded by her grief-stricken bawling relatives trying to console her, their words don't register though. Sameer's garlanded picture that was put up for offering condolences was the one she took on their first anniversary. How could that smiling face ever fade away?

Today, it has been a month since Sameer died. Her anniversary present for Sameer lies on the table, unopened. Misha refuses to step out of the house or meet anyone. She knows she has to collect the battered pieces of her life and move on but it is too hard.

Misha’s painful words in Sameer’s remembrance :

The world’s painted crimson and in all its shades,

But my heart’s all dull and bare.

There can be no love or the thought of it,

If you can’t be here with me to share.

We swore we were one till death do us apart,

Forgive me, for I outlived my part.

Heaven or earth, you were and will always be mine,

Could I live without you in my heart?

I miss the smell and that touch of you,

Days and nights are alike, nothing’s right or true.

You’re too far for even my mind to go,

Tell me, there, do you miss me too?

As if by an apology from God for shattering her world, and a surprise gift from Sameer, she’s found out that the seed of their love has been sown. The dark tunnel has finally ended and a ray of hope has found its way in her life. She has received a new lease of life. As she closes her eyes and caresses her abdomen in anticipation she can feel Sameer’s omnipresence. Her Valentine, thus, has returned. Just then the Celine Dion song plays somewhere, “ My heart will go on…”.

Clutter or fond memories? You decide...

2010-10-13T00:38:00.000-07:00

Out of the many things that are constant inspirations for the unabated cute squabbles between me and A, one is my habit to collect souvenirs. Ranging from gifts, cards, soft toys to college files, registers and even a project floppy of one of my dearest friends, I've carefully collected and preserved these personalised items that are inevitable reminders of my near and dear ones and the wonderful time I've spent with them.

A calls all this useless clutter, more appropriately a piece of junk that crowds an already crammed space that is typical to a Mumbai household like ours. It is only the prospect of seeing the very scary side of me that has encouraged him to retain all my gifts and cards till now, else they'd have somehow found their way out of my home.

All this talk on old memories attached with such stuff has not come suddenly.There was something special that made me write about this right now. Back in school I had a pocket Oxford dictionary which I always referred to in case of any vocab related emergency, as is the case with any teenager who doesn't want to make any embarrassing mistake. It was my constant companion and I carried it in my school bag everyday. I used it regularly and it sat on my desk comfortably along with my course books. I had scribbled my name over its first page quite hastily, but two of my friends, both with a very beautiful handwriting insisted that they use all their calligraphic skills and tag it themselves, which they did.

To cut a long story short, I'd blindly packed it with all my other stuff when I came to Mumbai and had not sighted it till some time ago. I was cleaning up some drawers when I suddenly spotted it lying amidst a bunch of books. Time has taken its toll over it (also probably while being moved around by helpers), the pages are coming off in bits and pieces, the spine is separated and a brief handling by A Jr has ensured tearing away parts of it. However, miraculously still in place is the first page along with my name written on it, beautifully, by two of my dearest friends. The moment brought back memories from the past and left me smiling away to myself, all day. The fact that its in a battered state didn't even cross my mind. Useless clutter? I don't think so! :)

Wish I could make A realise that no matter now big or small, what matters is the emotion of the person behind giving you something. It is not something that can be measured in material terms. Some things might appear useless, but can still mean a lot to someone.Isn't it?

By the way this happens to be my 74th post. I'm glad I've reached this landmark and can't express enough gratitude to all my readers and blog friends who motivate me to keep writing. The next one might take long, but I hope to make it special. :)

P.S : I think I'd let you know that one of my friends who wrote my name on that dictionary was none other than our very own Nu! :)

Books et al

2010-09-19T03:45:00.000-07:00

Nowadays I feel blessed to be able to find time to read more than ever before. There had been a huge backlog of books-to-read and I’m glad I’ve atleast begun my journey towards bridging the gap between wanted-to-read, reading and to-read ones. There's just one small glitch, so many books and so less time! :)

I don’t know how people go about choosing a book but for me it’s a very tedious and baffling process. I somehow never go by reviews and pick up any book by pure instinct. No wonder then that many times my hunch is not completely correct and I end up wasting my precious time on books like The 3 Mistakes of my Life by Chetan Bhagat, Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho or Unruly Times by Prashant Bhavalkar.

I’m not a very literature obsessed person but I like to read sensible stuff. I prefer reading what I can follow without having to rack my brain for perceived meanings. I despise it when people think they sound intelligent when they add difficult looking and spelling words and twist the language unnecessarily. There’s a chance of the entire meaning of the sentence getting confused and the sequence getting lost, what good is it for the reader then?

Worse still is the current crop of ‘casual’ writers coming in. Any tom dick or harry who must’ve at some point of his life entertained the thought of writing a book finds himself getting backed by publishers who’ve started waking up to the fact that as long as they write anything relating to love it will sell. Quality no bar! Hence any IIT or IIM pass-out is seen coming out with some or the other love story of his/her own. The same campus ranting, lashing out at and by professors, clandestine romances, incomplete dreams etc is seen in most of them.

If some book does have a corporate backdrop then it sure talks about either super-achievers or super-losers, while in reality most people conveniently fall within these two categories. An extra-marital affair is suitably embedded in the story, anyhow. Simple sensibilities like honesty, respect, gratitude and empathy are blatantly frowned upon on shown in a dark light, almost as if they’re a crime. As long as it sells, nothing matters. Is this only what writing is about?

I do not wish to imply that all Indian authors are disappointing. We do have Sudha Murthy, V.S.Naipaul, Chitra Divakaruni Bannerjee, Mohyna Srinivasan etc who have a class of their own. Their books always succeed in teaching us a thing or two, if nothing else a few new words in English perhaps! :)

Sometimes I do rely on suggestions by people with a good taste and an even better judgement, like Nu, Titaxy and Swaram, and honestly I’ve never been disappointed. :)

I just want to say...

2010-08-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

Let me begin with an apology to all my blogger friends. I haven’t been reading them of late, have been giving delayed replies to their comments and haven’t acknowledged their mails. Couple of my friends messaged me to ensure I was alright, so sweet of them! Am I blessed or what to have such caring friends?? :)

The fact of the matter is that I’m having some problem with my laptop which apparently (and sadly) may take longer. And while I’m dejected beyond consolation for not being able to come online for so long, not able to check mails, chatting with friends, and most of all, blogging, A couldn’t be happier. He says my obsessive blogging fever needed just that, a break! So not fair!

This internet hiatus has been good in a way though. Must agree, I’ve had a lot on my plate to keep me busy throughout. I’ve read at least four books in the last two weeks, celebrated A Jr’s second birthday, did a lot of shopping (again!) and spent some quality time with A. Contradicting my own words, this isn’t so bad. But the blogger in me keeps itching to share all this stuff with you, which cannot be helped.

So I’m hoping my laptop gets fixed soon, how soon this soon will be is a mystery in itself though. Till then, please do keep writing in. I miss you guys a lot and would keep updating as and when possible. Take care.

Role Reversal

2010-08-04T00:47:00.000-07:00

All mothers are crazy, period! They exaggerate their kid’s smallest achievements, they feign indifference to people’s complaints against them, they adore their silly obsessive habits, they practice extreme caution when it comes to their health and well-being, they over-react at the smallest glitch regarding anything related to them, and…so on and so forth.

I’m saying all this while being well aware of the fact that I’m included in this generic but to-the-point indicative list of ‘compulsive-n-paranoid’ mother traits. What led me to suddenly come up with this? Let me tell you..

It so happened the other day that I was finishing up some work in the kitchen (grudging and sulking) late at night. While I was at work the father and son duo were having a blast; pillow fight, horse-riding on Papa’s back, cycling, dancing. Displaying extreme pride over being a good father, A said he’ll cut an apple for A Jr and make sure he eats it.

I was mildly surprised (and I swear I even blushed a bit) when A came to me with an apple slice and offered to feed it to me. Well aware of his habit of restlessly shoving one full slice in my mouth to save time (and spoil the whole romance along with ) I begged him to leave it aside for me to have it later.

What A did after that was completely unexpected! I thought I heard him tell A Jr, ‘Jaao Mamma ko apple khilake aao’ (go feed Mom the apple slice) but wasn’t sure if I heard it right. Right I was indeed! There came my cute little prince armed with an apple slice and the most killing smile in the world and extended the slice towards me. When I tried to take it from his hands he flatly refused and asked me to bend down. I obliged. I couldn’t believe my destiny and was almost in happy tears when he fed me the whole slice, no rushing, no hurrying, allowing me to chew it properly, all the while flashing that million dollar smile! *Getting all emotional again!* :) :)

It was a sight to behold. I wonder why it never struck me to take a video. May be some moments are best kept that way? I remembered all the times when I got all restless and squirmy while feeding him and felt immensely guilty for them. How true, kids teach us valuable lessons in the most unusual ways. And we mothers always take pleasure in accepting that our kids outshine and outlearn us, at any age whatsoever.

So, crazy justified?? :) :)

My Regular 9 Picks

2010-07-25T10:49:00.000-07:00

My previous post was on tags and this one is an apt continuation. Some days ago Nu tagged me with this one. In fact she has tagged me quite a few times and now I’m trying desperately to finish them. I’d liked this tag since it was shorter and more interesting than other ones and hence it comes first!

I have to list 9 things that I wear regularly. This can be a bit tough for the mother of a 2-year old, since I’m left with little or no time for myself or my choices, but let me try and get this list ready :)

1.Rings- at any given point of time one would find me wearing at least 3 rings on my fingers. I’m absolutely in love with them and do not choose to part with them at any cost!:)
2.More rings- My brother ~~jokes~~ exaggerates that one day I’ll become a sieve, owing to my fondness to get pierced. I wear three pairs of earrings and a nose ring too!;)
3.Hair accessories- Though I have gorgeous hair that look best when left open, on any regular day my hair are carelessly done up into a bun with the help of a clutcher/hair pin. I hate the constant distraction they cause otherwise.
4.Kajal- I detest any other form of eye make-up but I can’t do without my kajal. I love the sensuous and smoky look it gives to my eyes and wear it everyday.
5.Jeans- From being signature cowboy attire to being an integral part of any girl’s wardrobe Jeans have come a long way. I swear by my untorn and very conservative pair of Jeans (colour no bar) at all times and comfortably slip into them anytime!:)
6.Smile- Wonder if this should’ve been first on the list, but nevertheless. A Jr’s innocent smile has taught me the importance of a smile like I never knew before. So now even when I’m not in the best of my moods I try to wear a smile on my face and scare those frowns away!:) :)
7.Slip-ons- I don’t like being barefoot even at home and love to don my soft and comfortable pair of slip-ons all the time.
8.Face creams/lip balms- I’m very picky when it comes to either of those ‘se my skin is very sensitive. I do not put any make-up but there won’t be a single day when I didn’t pamper myself with these!
9.My heart- People say that I wear my heart on my sleeves, and that I guess can come under the regular ‘wearable’ category! I’m very emotional and feel and cry more than I’ll ever accept.:D

So there!! That was the list of my essential and regular 'wearable' stuff! I'm not tagging anyone here. Whoever likes it can this up and drop a comment on my blog informing me of it!

The 'Tag' Bug

2010-07-22T05:28:00.000-07:00

Not too long after I’d started blogging Reflections tagged me for the first time. I recollect being confused and lost as to what I’d to do with it and going through the blogs of all those who’d done it. It was a long one, but I felt compelled to complete it as fast as possible, like an assignment that had a deadline attached to it. It was unnerving, almost like a pressure, to do it the right way lest I disappoint the one who tagged me!

Since then I’ve done many tags and can comfortably say that I’m unfazed by them now. I like to see them as a challenge; making one think eccentrically in a direction we don’t usually direct our minds to (remember my Hi-five tag), making us look at the fine picture of our lives closely (Strikethrough tag), looking at ourselves in a different perspective than we have till date (My Sins against Gender Stereotypes tag) or simply sharing certain facts about us with everybody (Seven random things tag)!

With all due respect to the person who came up with this idea at the first place, there are some people who like tags while some think of them as work. I’d like to know what is it that you think tags are really meant for. Here’s what I think:

1.First and foremost, giving a personal touch to this electronic medium of writing. Giving fellow bloggers an insight into the person behind that blog page.
2.Increasing your blog’s popularity by joining the bandwagon. 'Everybody does it, so do I' thinking.
3.Trying to increase traffic to your blog with the tag-so-many-people-in-the-end clause.
4.Facing blogger’s block? Tags provide good filler posts.
5.Venting out your creative energy by dancing on someone else’s tunes. It seems mysterious and exciting. Take it as an extempore.

Whatever the reason, they're fun and I accept that I look forward to people coming up with splendid and unique ideas for them. Bloggers out here have such a fertile imagination that some tags require a lot of hair-pulling and head-scratching to complete them! Some tickle your funny bone while some make you retrospect on certain untouched aspects of your lives.

There are bloggers who take up tags rightaway while some sit on them till they eventually have to drag themselves out of their laziness owing to peer pressure :). I'm sure everyone must have a different take on this whole 'tag' thing.What is it that drives you? Would love to know your thoughts on tags too. Share them with me.

Meeting the Parents

2010-07-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

Mera dil bhi kitna pagal hai ye pyar to tumse karta hai

Par saamne jab tum aate ho kuch bhi kehne se darta hai…

(My silly hearts loves you, but is afraid to confess it in your presence)

What I’m about to say might not be in the same context as this song, but comes closest to it. Normally A’s the perfect husband; considerate, caring, helping. I’ve happily confessed many times on my blog that I feel blessed to be married to a gem like him. He’s more resilient than I ever can be and can tolerate my insanity and temper with surprising ease. He showers me with endless ‘I Love You’s , random pecks and hugs are aplenty, making me feel like a very desirable queen! :)

Having said that, there’s another side to this story in which the queen magically gets converted into a make-shift stranger. And it does not feel good! :(

Let me elaborate a bit on this. One thing that me and A end up arguing most when at my in-laws’ place is his indifference towards me. When we’re on our own I’m at liberty to voice my opinion and behave according to my wish and will. But in front of his parents I’m expected to blindly follow their rules, no matter how demeaning and chauvinistic they are. The usual excuse is, ‘Follow them for as long as you’re here. You’re free to do what you want at our place’. Is there really the need to have such double standards, especially when I detest it from the core?

Forget about the cute mushy habits, I know they are tough to follow (the concept of stolen moments is lost on him) when there’s people just about everywhere. But aren’t there simple things that can convey love too? Or is it a taboo to express your feelings when your parents are around? The MIL doesn’t mind claiming full right on her son for as long as we’re there while I’m left sulking and grimacing for not being able to get through to him. Tricky situation, and my loss all the way.

This setting is bearable when the number of days is limited to single digits. When it starts getting longer than that, it becomes a pain and I can’t wait to come back home and get my normal husband back. It is not at all exciting to have to endure all this. I’ve not been able to figure out where exactly the problem lies. Is it the mother who still can’t let go of her son? Or the son who thinks ignoring his wife would make his mother feel better? Or the stupid belief that we need to bow down to our elders’ wishes at all times?

Whatever the case, I don’t see myself being freed from this maze anytime soon.

Past, present and future

2010-07-07T01:51:00.000-07:00

After having a wonderful time at the Blogger’s meet over good ambience, good food and above all, a group of very warm and real blog friends, I was looking forward to capturing this great experience in a dedicated post and locking it up in memory forever. However, due to my procrastination, Ugich Konitari, Vivek and Nu came up with their versions of the meet well before me. Can’t beat their all-inclusive accounts of it, hence I’m not going to do it again. Go to their blogs to read and see what all we did there! :)

Have been missing from the blog world for over a week, quite unlike me. There’s so much to write, but no time and even less patience and concentration. The job of a mother beats everything else hands down. Last few days I’ve been very busy nursing A Jr who’s not been keeping very well of late. Blame the rains for it, which bring along with them a whole lot of infections and diseases. It’s been crazy, but he’s a little better today, and I’m slightly relieved. The next few days are going to be very eventful and I want him to enjoy every moment of it.

There’s a whole lot of fun awaiting us on the other side of this weekend. My Uncle-in-law and family are coming from US after almost a decade, which makes this out first official meeting. Along with this, there’s my bro-in-law’s wedding which is going to be a grand affair, and for which we’re doing our part of the preparation too. Starting from brushing up our dancing skills, getting our best sarees and jewellery in place while matching it with our spouses and kids, to cooking up new ideas for pulling the desperate groom’s leg, we’re doing the best we can.

Everyone’s been planning for this from months in advance and eagerly waiting for it. And what better time for it than a wedding, when everyone’s in high spirits and out there just to have a good time? Such occassions are always the best way to make amends, form relationships and come closer. All in all, it’s bonding time for the family.

All this is going to take a while. Will be gone for some days but will be back with a lot more to share with you. Till then be good and be safe! Ciao! :)

My 'Man'ly sins and me! (edited)

2010-07-01T06:06:00.000-07:00

I was having the time of my life reading everyone’s sinful confessions, not worried in the least to think of my sins even once. Pinsy tagged me to do this (!) and before everyone claims my sins along with theirs, I’m doing it right away.

IHM has created this interesting tag. It goes like this – The tag is called ‘My Sins against Gender-Stereotypes’. You are to list at least ten things you have ever wanted or done which your gender is not supposed to and tag twelve blogging friends to come out with their sins ;)

1.There seems to be a collective obsession for SUVs amongst girls and I’m no exception! I’ve been in love with Land Cruiser ever since I set my eyes on it few years back. Buying it would imply me robbing a bank or something, so I’m ready to settle for a Tata Safari :)

2.I’m a Mechanical engineer and was the only girl amongst 75 boys in my class. Girls from other branches joked that I blended so well with them that it was impossible to spot me in a group!:P

3.I love speed and have been reprimanded by my parents countless times for it. At times I was threatened with dire consequences if I didn’t keep check on the speedometer. And oh yes, my Kinetic had very loose brakes too :P

4.My beautician always complained that I was her lousiest client. My eyebrows, hands, legs resembled a mini-jungle whenever I went to her. She tried to make me understand the rewards of being well-kept, but finally gave up for good. :/

5.Just let someone say I cannot do something ‘se I’m a girl, and he/she can be sure I’ll prove him/her wrong! There’s a rebel in me who refuses to acknowledge the belief that choices/preferences/opportunities/endurance are gender-dependant.

6.If being a girl means crying at the drop of a hat or being hyper-sensitive and delicate, then I don’t fit the bill for sure. I’ve always been the rugged one, cold and distant. I prefer being on my own and cry in solitude.

7.I swear sometimes when I’m upset, a big no-no for an acche ghar ki ladki. This is too much to comprehend since I’ve never heard A swear in 4 years of our married life. I still remember the incredulous look on his face when he’d heard me swear for the first time. :O

8.For a better part of my childhood I had a boy-cut and loved it. Some people even mistook me for a boy once. Even now, many times I have this sweeping urge to snip my long tresses and get that very comfortable zero maintenance haircut back!:)

9.I do not qualify to be the cover model for the most dutiful bahu! I’ve done things (which I wouldn’t like to confess here) which would give the MIL a heart-attack of sorts if she ever finds out about them. My stance is clear, obeying but non-committal.

10.I love the feeling of love and all that it entails but I can’t stand a lot of mush. I hate reading romantic novels. And more so, I hate sharing personal things with others like most girls do. It seems very tacky to me.

So there…my sins are out in the open. Doesn't feel less of a girl,really!
Need to get back to being a pampering Mom and loving wifey mode anyway ;)

Here are few people who's sins I'd love to know : Garf Rohini Nu Preeti D Titaxy Analyst Reflections Zephyr G Chatterbox Psych Babbler

And yes, most people I know have been tagged already, so those who haven't done it already consider yourself tagged and drop a comment...would love to read your sins too :D

Thanks my new friend :)

2010-06-28T05:34:00.000-07:00

Four years ago: Marriage, dreams, aspirations.

Two years ago: Career, financial independence, freedom.

Currently: Career on a backseat, husband provided expenses, responsibilities.

The story of my existence can be summed up in these past four years. Why? Because the life that I had before getting married has almost faded into oblivion. What I did, what I liked or what I hated before this has no bearing on my actions or preferences now. There are days when these things frustrate me, there are days when I want a break, but then there are also days when I feel grateful for them.

It is all about setting priorities and sticking to them. And when you have done that, be sure that you did the right thing. I decided to be a full-time Mom ‘se I didn’t want to leave A Jr with a babysitter or a day-care. I wanted to see him grow up with my own eyes, didn’t want to miss any of the cute things he does. I did just that. My career suffered, the loneliness at home was killing, and the demands of motherhood were daunting and exhausting. I got a bit tired of it.

But today, I met someone and things turned around. I met a lady whose son is A Jr’s playgroup-mate. The kid’s younger than A Jr and has just started school. Understandably, she was anxious about her son’s doing, the way I was during A Jr’s first week. It took all but one smile from me and she joined me in waiting for our respective kids. We got talking and hit it off almost instantly. Her story was similar to me. She left her job after her son was born and is a full-time Mom now. The situations and experiences she mentioned sounded very similar to mine.

She doesn’t even know this, but after talking to her I felt more confident and sure of myself. Not that I needed a proof of it, but seeing someone in the same shoes as mine made me feel like I had company. I was not alone out there. It felt heartening to finally have someone who's riding the same boat with you and wants to know if she's rowing it properly. I’m sure I’ll look forward to meeting her everyday and talk about everything under the sun with her.

Togetherness @ 4

2010-06-25T06:13:00.000-07:00

I've seen people planning for this day from months in advance; preparing the guest list with utmost care, making sure to get the most enviable gifts for yourself, never missing even a single occasion to display your undying love for each other, etc etc etc.

As much as I'd have liked to go by the conventional way of celebrating my 4th wedding anniversary, it was not bound to happen, and I was glad for it. I'm not exactly the anti-social type, but these so-called social-dos seem like work to me. They're fun for A Jr, but definitely not for me. I prefer being in the company of loved ones and sharing a quiet cozy evening together. But what took place was even better than my imagination.

We had two of my very dear and very fun-to-be-with brothers-in-law for company this time round. One of them's getting hitched next month and they were here for the whole wedding shopping thing (A dedicated wedding shopping post coming up very soon for you).Anyway, the day started with heavy showers and a visibly sick A Jr. Poor thing, he was down with cough, cold and some viral infection. Bunked his school and stayed home while the BIL's went for shopping alone and A joined them later.

Predictably, they got stuck in the rain and were running late. I, on my part, made sure to plan ahead a lovely surprise for them at home! Cooked for them ( Soya+moong+cheese sandwiches and Hakka noodles, strange combo, but it totally works!) and got a sinfully rich and very delicious Chocolate cake for us. When the very exhausted trio returned, all they could manage was an honest and grateful smile and an endless string of compliments on the food and the cake. Could I ask for anything more? :)

A's gift to me is not to be divulged, but yes, I gifted him a poem that I wrote exclusively for him, from the time we met till date. His million dollar smile after reading it proved that it was well worth the effort. Am sharing it with you:

Chale the safar par tab do ajnabee the,
Ab lagta nahi ki kabhi bhi juda the,
Pehle ek saal nikla, phir do, aur phir teen,
Chautha jaane ko hai, sach mein kya hum yahan the?

Wo kal hi to tha jab hum tum mile the,
Main accident mein aur tum train mein fase the,
Kuch kaha nahi tumne, main bolti rahi bas,
Khamosh se tum aate hue kal ko dekhte the.

Aapas ki hamari an-ban ko tum natural kehte the,
Main ruthti, chillati, tum hanske jhelte the,
Anjaane mein kabhi jo tumhara dil dukhaya,
Mera bachpana samajhkar use bhool jaathe the.

Ye chaar saal hote chaar sadiyon ki tarah,
Tum inme agar apne pyaar ka rang na bharte the,
Na jaan paati kabhi mein ki khushi kya hoti hai,
Apne chiraag se gar mera jahan roshan na karte the.

Am I still stuck in my dreamy world or love is really in the air?? ;)

The First language

2010-06-14T05:31:00.000-07:00

A short post, which is more of a question for all of you. I’ve read many articles on the growing influence and English-nisation of education around the world, so much so that many native languages are on the verge of extinction. More often than not I see parents, especially in metros, conversing with their kids in English. Whatever happened to our so-called mother tongues? Do we have fond memories of our grandmothers and mothers singing lullabys to us or telling us stories in our native language or English? If at home we do not take the initiative to make our child follow and understand our roots and language, where else would (s)he learn it? English is the first language in every English medium school; hence the child can be relied upon to grasp it with little difficulty.

Doesn’t it become our collective responsibility then to safeguard our language and our culture, or is it too down-class to use your mother tongue at all?

Go strike it!

2010-06-10T00:04:00.001-07:00

Pins tagged me with this one. Though it took more time to complete than I’d expected, I enjoyed doing it!

1. ~~Graduated high school~~ – Ofcourse!

2. ~~Kissed someone~~ – I’d be a waste if I didn’t! :D

3. Smoked a cigarette – Never! And don’t even intend to..

4. Got so drunk you passed out – Nopes.

5. ~~Rode every ride at an amusement park~~ – Always. It’s a must-do!

6. Collected something stupid – No. Nothing I buy is stupid for me.

7. Gone to a rock concert – No.

8. ~~Helped someone~~ – Yes. As much as I can, always.

9. Gone fishing – No. I’m a vegetarian. What’s the point? :P

10. ~~Watched four movies in one night~~ – College life. Hah!

11. ~~Lied to someone~~ – Yes. Haven’t we all?

12. Snorted cocaine – No. Never!

13. Smoked weed – Why, no again!

14. Failed a subject – No. Was close to it, but got saved! (grace marks zindabad!)

15. ~~Been in a car accident~~ – Yes. I wasn’t behind the wheel though, and it was the day I met A for the first time. (No, we didn’t hit him)

16. Been in a tornado – Thankfully, no.

17. Watched someone die – No. Hope I won’t too, I’m hyper-sensitive.

18. ~~Been to a funeral~~ – Yes, unavoidable.

19. ~~Burned yourself~~ - I’ve lost the count of it! Everything from hot pans, tawas and even hot oil have done their job well!

20. Run a marathon – In school, yes. Would love to be a part of one now.

21. ~~Cried yourself to sleep~~ – Yes, many times.

22. ~~Spent over 10,000 bucks in one day~~ – I’m capable of spending more!! :D ;)

23. ~~Flown on an aeroplane~~ – Yes.

24. Cheated on someone – I hope not.

25. ~~Been cheated on~~ – Yes.

26. Written a 10 page letter – Don’t have that much patience! A long mail qualifies?

27. Gone skiing – No L

28. ~~Been sailing~~ – Yes yes, and I loved it!

29. ~~Cut yourself~~ – Many times.

30. ~~Had a best friend~~ – Wrong question! Best friends are applicable only in present and future tense.

31. ~~Lost someone you loved~~ - We all have, some or the other way.

32. ~~Got into trouble for something you didn't do~~ – Oh yes! Ask Nu, she knows.

33. ~~Stolen~~ (yes :P) ~~borrowed~~ (yes) a book from a library - I forgot to return it, so that means I stole it right?

34. ~~Gone to a different country~~ – Yes.

35. ~~Watched the Harry Potter movies~~ – Yes, but not all of them. I’m not too much into special effects aided movies.

36. ~~Had an online diary~~ – Yes, safe and secure, far from all prying eyes.

37. ~~Fired a gun~~ - Yes. At fairs, for bursting balloons :D

38. Gambled in a casino – No. But I did play a lot of those coin games at clubs.

39. ~~Been in a school play~~ – Yes. College plays were more enjoyable though.

40. Been fired from a job – No. Kiski majaal hai ki ye gustakhi kare??:P

41. Taken a lie detector test – No.

42. Swam with dolphins – I can’t swim, can I try that with safety jackets?? :P

43. ~~Voted for someone on a reality TV show~~ – Yes, did that only once for Rahul Vaidya, cute guy, but wasn't foolish enough to repeat it.

44. ~~Written poetry~~- Yes yes yes.

45. Read more than 20 books a year – No! I lose interest if it’s overdone.

46. Gone to Europe – No.

47. Loved someone you shouldn’t have – Confusing question!!

48. ~~Used a colouring book over age 12~~ – Yes.

49. Had a surgery – No,Thank God!! I’m too scared of it.

50. Had stitches – No again!!

51. ~~Taken a taxi~~ – Ofcourse, what’s there to ask in this??

52. ~~Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once~~ – Yes.

53. ~~Been is a fist fight~~ – Ya ya, my brother was my favourite assailant and prey!:D

54. Suffered any form of abuse - No.

55. Had a pet – No. Dad didn’t like pets. Want to get a goldfish when A Jr grows up a bit.

56. Petted a wild animal – No!

57. Had your own credit card & bought something with it – No, I prefer swiping debit cards. Have used A’s credit cards sometimes.

58. ~~Dyed your hair~~ – Yes.

59. ~~Got a tattoo~~ – Yes. All sorts, ranging from flowers to Power Puff girls to cars!

60. ~~Had something pierced~~ – Oh yes. I wear three pairs of earrings (Absolutely love it!) and a nose ring too!

61. ~~Got straight A’s~~ – We didn’t have grades, but I always managed to get good marks.

62. Known someone personally with HIV or AIDS – No.

63. ~~Taken pictures with webcam~~ – Yes, my Gtalk pic for one :D

64. ~~Lost something expensive~~ – Yes.

65. Gone to sleep with music on – Music I don’t think, but lights yes.

I’m not tagging anyone with this one since Pins tagged a lot of people already. Whoever wants can pick this up! All yours!

Another one on Blogging

2010-06-06T21:23:00.000-07:00

Nu says she’s a Blogoholic and Pins says she’s addicted. If given a chance we’d all attach many such similar adjectives to our names. Blogging is like that one drug which when administered in our body even once enters our bloodstream in such a way that it makes us crave for it more and more. Right?

We write once and we’ve to write more…we read once and we’ve to read more…we comment on some blog and come back to see ours to check if our gesture has been returned :P…we pick out our favourite ones and follow them…we voice our thoughts and opinions freely…talk about issues bothering us without having to bother about the repercussions…its a virtual world but still so real..

All this is much beyond non-bloggers though. For them such cute little paranoia’s are comparable with temporary insanity and obsessive Blogomania! Don’t agree with me?? I’ll tell you what all I’ve had to endure after being a part of this world.

After returning home from work the first thing A asks me everyday, ‘ So did you write a post today?’ (Hello…what happened to the ‘How was your day’ routine?)

He simply has to see what I’m reading! He reads posts from over my shoulders standing behind me and then says, ‘What’s the big deal behind writing this? So and so happened with so and so, what’s there to write about it?’ (I didn’t call him to read it now, did I?)

I’m commenting on someone’s post. He has to point out atleast once that if its not compulsory why do I have to do it at all. I’ve to think and comment, so why the needless stress on the brain?

This one is funny. I follow a lot of people many of whom don’t follow me back. Nevertheless I visit their blogs and read them regularly. He seems to not like it. He says I must get them to read me! Doesn’t that sound desperate and needy I ask. He doesn’t answer but stands firm on his views :P

If I’m chatting with someone on Gtalk he asks me, ‘So is this person your school friend/college friend/colleague/acquaintance or most likely a blog friend? Don’t you guys talk too much on blogs already?’

Many more such things to add, but you already know what I mean to say right? The concept is completely lost on these people. Smartly judging that such remarks invite only my wrath he’s learnt to hold his tongue on few occasions. Good for him.

Notwithstanding his comments I love to be here and will continue to do so, always :)

Riding High and Eating away

2010-06-02T22:20:00.000-07:00

In three months’ time I’ll hit 30 and the weight of slowly and steadily stepping into middle age seems to burden me sometimes. That is why whenever I get the smallest opportunity to relive the childhood that I once had, I seize it promptly and wholeheartedly. One such thing which was an integral part of my childhood (and all of you too I’m sure) was visiting those typical Fun Fairs…more commonly called as Anand Nagari at our place.

As kids we waited eagerly for any such fair to come up since it promised us lots of enjoyment; all kinds of fun rides, games and unrestricted binging on junk food. Mom and Dad were lenient and didn’t mind us getting overtly demanding and vocal. We could buy anything of our choice; clothes, accessories, games. I remember buying cute hand carved pen-stands and hair clips for myself from there and guarding them with my life. What fun!!

This time when I went back home I got a chance to visit one such Anand Nagari. I did enjoy myself, but what I enjoyed more was A Jr’s excitement and insistence to see each and everything! Here are some pics from back there. Do you miss these too??

One would expect a kid of his age to be scared of a merry-go-round but he simply loved it!! I had to hold on to him tightly to stop him from dancing in the moving riders. I'm sure he had a better time than I did :P

This one was my personal favourite. The ride was probably not more than a minute long for one round and the ride had 6-7 such rounds. I always insisted on riding it over and over again but gave it a miss this time :(

A Jr had the first baraf ka gola of his life. A mix of Rose and Cola flavours, he devoured it and slurped it greedily. Needless to say his whole dress was drenched in the sticky liquid, but watching him have it so diligently made me ignore all that :)

We girls have a radar which detects any chaat stall immediately. Without the slightest care of an already upset stomach and even more calories I ate and ate lots of pani puris. This one is the pic of the chana chor stall. Had some of it then and there and carried some back home too :)

I bought lots of beautiful bangles too, but was so busy selecting and buying them that taking a picture didn't even click me, pun unintended! :P

My parents just couldn't get enough of his antics. Even at this age my father took him around everywhere. He was physically drained but had a proud smile on his face throughout. Ditto with my mother. She was the one who fed him that baraf ka gola. Loads of patience, I must add. But that's how grandparents are, right? :D

And such was an awesome fun-filled evening. Tell me, did I take you back into your childhood too??

Masti and more masti!

2010-05-27T05:57:00.000-07:00

A Jr’s on a roll. Every new day seems like a day for new challenges and new pranks. I’ve to agree that it gets the better of my patience and tolerance many times but it’s simply cute the way he pulls off stuff I can’t even imagine. Sharing few of them with you.

I’d bundled up all the clothes to be given in the laundry but somehow one of my tops got left out. I couldn’t sight it but A Jr’s prying eyes caught it right away. He ran ahead of me to fetch it and simply refused to part with it. Curious as to what he’d do with it I let him have it. He directed me to help him put it on and danced away in it, happily and triumphantly!! :D

The other day he tried to climb atop a jar so he could reach onto the kitchen platform and pick up something from there. Worried that he might trip I asked him to get down, which he obviously did not listen to. I pretended to get angry and scold him on which my poor baby made a very bechara face and looked down. Feeling guilty, I started laughing to get him to smile. The prankster looked up and laughed louder than I did and gave me the fooled you expression. :(

I got a whole set of very cute toy cars for him to play with. Not the one to do what is meant to, he likes to do all kind of possible experiments with them; disintegrating all its parts and also reassembling them sometimes, throwing them with full strength to check if they break, and blah blah blah…

He’s learnt to climb on the couch and reach out to the balcony where we put the clothes out to dry. His favourite sport is to remove the clips used to hold the clothes in place and flinging them in the balcony. The washed clothes also land there many times. FYI, it is an extended balcony and doesn’t have a door, so fetching the items back includes climbing down it which is an unpleasant job. Nevertheless… got to do it! :P

I’d also like to add here that my dear friend rohini has given me two awards. Thanks dear…you’re so very sweet to find me worthy of them!!

Mango and Mint Sorbet

2010-05-24T05:51:00.000-07:00

Out of the many things I like and love about A one is his fondness of and encouragement to let me try out new recipes. It’s not infrequent to find him coaxing me to leave the regular sabzis aside and give him a grand treat with a recently read/seen/heard recipe. Since this is the only time of the year when we can really experiment with mangoes I tried and made lots of things for him. One of them happens to be the recipe I’m giving you. The original recipe is Sanjeev Kapoor’s. (I have a very slight change in mine)

Mango and Mint Sorbet

Ingredients:

Alphonso mangoes- 2 no
Lemon juice- 1 tsp
Mint leaves- 3-4 leaves
Ginger- Half inch long piece
Sugar – as per requirement.

Procedure:

1.Cut the mangoes into cubes and keep them in the freezer for about 2 hours.
2.Blend all the ingredients together in a blender. If needed add few ice cubes.
3.The sorbet is ready to be served and finished! :)

The sorbet is a mix of spicy, sour and sweet flavours and the taste stays with you hours after you've had it. I'd prepared it in advance and stored it in the fridge. If you like you can store it in the freezer.
A very simple recipe but is simply superb! Try it out! :)

Tring Tring....Who's there??

2010-05-22T02:25:00.000-07:00

When mobile phones were introduced in the market they were seen more of an improvised and modified version of a cordless phone with certain unseen and unheard of features. From being the ones adhering only to the basic purpose of their conception viz making and receiving calls, an address book for contacts and having an easily operable and usable technology, they’ve surely come a long way.

They now store images, songs and videos and have an ever increasing memory with the help of memory cards. They provide you with cameras, radio and voice recording facility. I can go on and on. But this post is not about the umpteen positive and/or negative effects and after-effects of mobiles. I intend to speak about the time when there was no such concept as a mobile.

The first memory of a telephone I have is that of a heavy black instrument (rotary) we had at our place. It had a dial in front of it, the typical sorts we had back then wherein one had to insert a finger/pen/pencil/spoon in the hollow above the desired number and roll it upto the end point. We kids were warned to be careful with it since the receiver too was not easy for us to handle. I remember the excitement of us kids when it went all trrriiing trrriiing and we ran to answer the phone.

Years went by and the form of the telephone evolved into sophisticated light-weighted sleek models which gave way to press-in buttons and redial, call waiting and address book facility. Not only this, they now give you choices for ringtones too. Answering machines are an added feature. The uses are plenty.

One thing however which has not and will not evolve is the way people talk and answer on phones. Phone etiquette surely has fewer buyers. Even now, at my Mom’s I had to answer to people who were ranging from pathetic to downright rude. Here go some of the conversations:

Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring…
Me: Hello
Some Aunty *sounding surprised* (why??): Who is it?
Me: You tell me
Aunty *Very stylishly brazen*: I'm Mrs. XYZ...can I talk to Mrs.ABC (my Mom)?
Me: She can't come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?
Aunty *Uncertainly* : I'm not sure I can tell you. I'll call back.

Aunty hangs up. I’m bewildered. Can’t I take down a message properly or these people are discreet the Osama way??

Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring…
Me: Hello
Some Aunty : Hello…is this Varsh?
Me *Happily* : Yes Aunty…How are you?
Some more banter on how, when, where about me and her.
Me: Mom’s not at home…is there some message for her?
Aunty: I wanted to invite her at my place for a party. *Accusingly* But you’re at home so probably she won’t come. Just tell her I called.

Aunty hangs up. I’m feeling incredibly insulted. Do I need her permission to come to my place???

And finally….

Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring… Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring… (the call gets cut before I can answer it)
Tring Tring……. Tring Tring…. Tring Tring…
Me (running to get to it) *Breathlessly* : Hello
A hoarse voice: Can’t you pick up the phone?
Me: Huh...Who is it?
XYZ: Now you don’t even recognize my voice?
Me *Uncertain* : I’m sorry I’m not getting you, who’s it?
XYZ: I’m the so and so of your so and so who live in Amravati.
Me: What? We don’t have anyone in Amravati…

No points for guessing it was a wrong number and I realized it only after my head had started spinning wildly ‘se of the family tree the man insisted I should consider. Needless to say, this time I hung up!

I know of many people (me included) who prefer mobiles over landlines. They are easy to carry and enable constant contact with anyone at all times. It comes with its baggage though. Its not a rare sight to find people screaming loudly into their phones in public places due to bad network or even going overtly mushy and embarrassing people around them. What more, even wrong numbers on mobiles are common now! Whatever the mode, I’d suggest people conduct themselves well and let others be too.

Back to where I belong :)

2010-05-18T22:24:00.000-07:00

My vacation is over and I can’t be more thankful for it. Haven’t we heard that the grass is always greener on the other side? Until we go out there and find it out for ourselves there’s no way we’d know that from there our side looks greener too! Something similar happened to me. I couldn’t wait to leave the boring summer afternoons and humidity of Mumbai behind and have a blast with my family. Once there, it took me less than a week to realize just how much I’ve actually started to love and miss this place.

There was my parents and occasionally my brother with us but I had a long face at least once in a day since I missed A a lot! Not to mention that I worried endlessly about his eating habits since he’d had to eat out and sometimes confessed skipping his meals altogether because he was dreading eating alone. A Junior kept himself busy with breaking new glasses of Grandma, personally identifying and throwing out the contents of each drawer that he could reach out to and open, literally dragging Grandpa out to have a long drive in the car and howling loudly until he relented to his wishes, and on and on and on. The cutest thing was when he’d talk gibberish with A on phone no end and see his pictures and brightly smile and point him out.

At my in-laws’ place the story was different. A Junior had the greatest time with my nephew who’s all of 2 months! He’d pull his hands, pat him, kiss him and pamper him. Sometimes he was the protective elder brother who wouldn’t let any stranger touch him and sometimes he was a very possessive son who wouldn’t tolerate me even carrying the kid in my arms! He’d insist that we all treat him like we treated the baby. It was funny but very adorable. He’d shout and call out for us the moment the kid cried and make us attend to him, not realizing that it was his own violent love that disturbed his sleep.

I’d missed such family moments for a long time, but now that I’m back I don’t see myself leaving A and my home behind (which by the way was miraculously clean when I came. Kudos to A!) anytime soon. There are certain things we get habituated to and subconsciously start taking them for granted. We water our grass and take very good care of it, the other side however always appears greener. Isn’t this human nature? :)

On summers and Adios!

2010-04-21T04:14:00.000-07:00

‘I want to have summer vacations now like we had when we were kids!’ I told A the other day, out of the blue.

Slightly perplexed, A replied with a couple of questions, ‘What would you do if you did have summer vacations? What did you do back then?’

‘Well…I went to my Mama’s(maternal Uncle) place…met all my cousins..had a blast with them..ate lots of mangoes…watched TV all the time..slept on the terrace and got up only when the sun seemed like it was torching my skin..played all kinds of games…in short…it was masti time!’ I went on and on…oh such nostalgic moments! :)

‘Wow…sounds fun…what’s stopping you then? You can do all of that even now. It’ll be a good break for you from the monotony out here. Want me to make your travel arrangements?’ A was being incredibly supportive. *Danger/Confusion/Jhol alert*

Weighing my options and scrutinizing the whole scene clearly made me realize that what seemed very simple in theory was far too tricky practically. Some of my cousins are working and won’t get holidays easily, the ones who are studying have some or the other classes to attend even during this time. I’m on a 'losing weight’ mission and have to seriously cut down calories, so mangoes have to be limited too (sulk..sulk..sulk). I don’t have any deadline for watching TV now, in fact I’m kind of bored with the whole lot of nonsense shown on it nowadays. And most important, if I go to my Mama’s place I’ll have to cancel going to my Mom’s since A Junior has limited summer vacations. Where does that leave me then? Do I really want this? *Wondering endlessly*

As if reading my thoughts, A, my knight in shining armour came to my rescue. ‘Changes happen in our life, many times without our knowledge and consent, but they do. Our priorities change, and so do our responsibilities. Mom did her best by making sure you got a slice of that fun at your Mama’s place by sending you there. It’s your turn now. You’ve to let A Junior spend time with his family, his Grandmas and Grandpas, his Uncles and Aunts and his sweet little cousin. We’ve been there, done that. Let him get all the pampering too!’ He said matter-of-factly, knowing this was exactly what I wanted to hear.

I hate to admit, but he was right. Although we’d love to be spoilt all our lives and refuse to grow up ever, it’s an imperative phase of our life and we have to accept it whole-heartedly. Childhood is the best time of our life, and gives us lovely memories for a lifetime. We can tuck those moments away safely in some corner of our mind and look back at them fondly, whenever we want.

Having said that, I’d like to inform all my dear friends out here that I’m going to be away from our blog world for the next few days. I’m off on a holiday and won’t be carrying my laptop with me. Would try and keep up with you guys, going to miss you all! You all are such lovely people! Adios! :)

Love Romance and Us

2010-04-18T01:33:00.000-07:00

I’ve always felt that love and romance is an exaggerated and baffled concept. Exaggerated by people who seek to earn some revenue out of it, and baffled by people like us who fall into the trap. How significant it is in our lives and how imperative it is for a relationship is for an individual to understand and decide.

All of us have countless dreams from our teenage (which are highly fueled by some whirlwind romance from Mills & Boons, some highly melodramatic romantic movie where the hero woos his darling with this ardent love for her, and sometimes even by some love story of a friend or a classmate that we’ve had a firsthand account of) and expect that someday our knight in shining armour would come and take us to his paradise of undiluted and undying love.

If the reality is a stark contrast to this, we end up sulking and lamenting. There have been many instances when I’ve heard some or the other person, especially a girl, crib about how unromantic her other half is. He doesn’t bring her flowers, doesn’t take her for candle-light dinners, doesn’t sing romantic songs for her, and on and on. As if they are a proof that he doesn’t love her. Sigh! :(

I know all these things sound very mushy and indeed would make any girl go weak in her knees, but are these things really all that important? And if they are and he doesn’t do it, does she take the pain of letting him know that she’d like him to do all of them for her? I guess not! I’m not trying to advocate the opposite sex here, but making a relevant point. If the other one doesn’t know what you want, there’s nothing wrong in letting him know that. After all it’s you who’s going to reap the benefits of it, right? :D

We try to find love in cards, gifts and physical things, when it can be felt and conveyed best through the simplest things…eyes…a smile…small gestures like selecting each other’s clothes for a party…so on and so forth. If one tries to compare these things with some expensive piece of diamond jewellery, then it is wrong and unfair. One gets bored with these things very easily, but emotional bonding is what stays with you forever.

The best example for unfrilled love can be our parents. We’ve probably never seen them expressing their feelings for each other freely, but it is palpable. They can read each other’s minds and almost always predict flawlessly as to what the other one is up to. They have such a strong bond that they can silently convey their feelings to each other, by just a look or a gesture. This, I feel, is romance at its best, isn’t it?

Got Awarded! YAY!! :)

2010-04-16T02:08:00.000-07:00

‘Jab koi kuch dil se chahta hai na, real mein, to use wo zaroor milta hai’

Me quoting a filmy dialogue seems very melodramatic but this is exactly how I’m feeling right now. Ever since I saw this award I was secretly hoping that some kind soul would give it away to me, and the darling that she is, Comfy did just that! Thanks Comfy dear for this yummy looking Cupcake Award…Hugs! :D

Another good part is that I get to tell three things that I love about myself (so people have some heart and be kind to me regarding them :)). Here goes:

1.I love my eyes and I’ve often been complimented on them too. Sensuous, naughty, beautiful are some of the adjectives that have been used for them. My eyelids have a reddish tinge to them which stands out even on my wheatish complexion and give them a permanent ‘made-up’ effect.
2.I love my ability to transform myself into the role of a friend/daughter/sister etc effortlessly depending upon who I’m with and what the person needs or wants me to be at that time.
3.I’m incapable of holding grudges against anyone. If someone has hurt me I’d try and cut off from that person completely, but never let anything fog my judgement or understanding to indulge in anything foolish.

I also need to post a picture I love...so here it is :)

Reason...nothing special....I just love the way this cute little kid is sleeping...not a single worry in the world..dreaming away about God-knows-what! :)

I'm passing on this badge to these 5 wonderful people: G , Titaxy , Addy , Chatterbox , Psych Babbler

My blog is even more special to me because of all of you. Thank you all guys! :)

The Changing Uni-form

2010-04-13T22:56:00.000-07:00

The other day I was amusingly dressing up A Junior in his first ever school uniform(which is very vibrant with a bright yellow shirt and navy blue shorts and red collars and pockets), and I couldn’t help feeling nostalgic and going down the memory lane, remembering the very essential part of our school: our school uniform.

The first sign of identification that one looks out for to comprehend which school you belong to is your uniform. During our time there wasn’t much experimentation with colours and our uniforms looked very bland and boring. The colour was a strange shade of brown; girls wore a frock which had a belt around the waist, while guys had a shirt and shorts of the same colour. Secondary students wore a maroon coloured tie.

The school norms for beautiful mehndi designs on hands, girls showing off their stylishly cut tresses in pony tails or better still leaving them open, and the length of the frocks getting dangerously above the knees were not very strict, hence it was fun to watch the college years already descending upon some of us. Also, it added some spice to the tasteless rag that we had to wear every day.

Passing out of school I felt that uniforms had finally left my life for good. In Junior college I breathed a sigh of relief when I wasn’t forced to don the same washed and rewashed clothes again and again the whole week. I had the freedom to choose from the countless dresses that I had lying around in my closet and which were crying out to be worn! But my joy was short-lived, to say the least.

When I was an engg student we again (!) had a uniform (can you believe it!): white shirt and blue jeans. The specifications were very clear; both guys and girls had to wear a buttoned shirt (for girls the expected length of the shirt was well below the waist) and a decent pair of jeans (meaning no holes in them and no threads hanging out of anywhere).

The crowd of any college being an ensemble of students from varied backgrounds, geographical locations and level of financial conditions, these criteria were obviously very rarely met. The fact that these ‘uniformed’ people were now adults and had a rebellious quality that was ready to show itself at all times became a hindrance in regulating them. So yet again, the uniform became a fashion statement.

Looking back, I feel they weren’t that bad either. It’d have been a punishment to decide every night what to pick out for the next day and get the selected dress in order, not to mention the accessories and embellishments to go with it. Now, when A complains that I take a hell lot of time to decide on what to wear and almost empty my whole closet to find what best suits my mood, I feel I could actually make do with a uniform for going out with my husband!

The week that was

2010-04-09T05:54:00.000-07:00

The first week, which is supposed to be the toughest, is over. Tough it was, alright! Most for me, since every day I had to leave him at the door while he clung to me tightly, refusing to let go of my hand and howling as loud as he possibly could. I chose to take him there myself (buses are a big no-no right now!) and wait till his one hour is over.

Moms are blessed with a sixth sense to identify when their kids need them. I seem to have a sharp one, since every time A Junior cries I can make that out (I’m just downstairs, remember?). The first day, I held my ground for some time, even trying to ignore it a bit, but obviously I couldn’t sit reading there while my son was in tears and in company of strangers. I literally ran back there and brought him with me. The whole duration: 30 minutes.

A got upset and said he’d expect the same thing to repeat every day, and that I HAVE to be strong and stretch it to one hour. Well, easy to him for say. He’s not come to drop him there, what does he know? But nevertheless I took his advice, and after that we did seem to manage it successfully.

There was a new revelation everyday though. He won’t eat from it, but he doesn’t like anyone to close his lunch-box (anyone can do the honours of opening it). He’s least interested in sitting in the class with other kids; instead he sits with the incharge there, in her office. Even a casual mention of the word ‘Ma’ is enough to put him off. When given a book he happily looks at the pictures in it, flips pages through it and can be totally left on his own. Etc etc etc….

His obsession for waving out to people, anywhere and everywhere is very endearing! Coming out of the lift, getting off the train, even while walking on the pavement, he makes sure to wave to everyone. Even the most khadoos looking people can’t help smiling back at him. And oh yes, the moment he sees another kid, he calls out for him, runs to him if he can, and hugs and caresses him (wonder what the kids in his class did!).

Many more instances are going to follow which I’ll keep you updated with!

Although this arrangement seemed torturous at first, it’s been a welcome break to catch up on my reading. The fact that there’s a library right in front of his school is an added bonus!

And the Golden Award goes to...

2010-04-06T03:51:00.000-07:00

Remember the time when you bought a dress you had second thoughts about and which garnered the most compliments for you? Remember that activity course you took only following your friend’s footsteps and insistence but which seemed like it was made for you? Remember the last time you had an undercurrent of myriad intense feelings inside you but it was all left unspoken because you couldn’t bring yourself to voice it freely?

These and many more such instances made me resort to this Blogosphere. I like to call it as a virtual notice board where we can simply scribble whatever we feel like, it always works. There were many things I wanted to share, express and convey, but there was nowhere I could vent out all that. As someone who seldom speaks out her mind openly and has been leading a domestic existence for a considerable time, this was a welcome release.

Amongst the many other lucrative facets of blogging, one is the freedom of expression it offers you. There are no prejudices and you needn’t worry about being judged or misconstrued by anyone. Even if they do, it’s not your problem! It is your space and you can paste whatever you please on it.

Guess you must be thinking why I’m ranting so much on blogging suddenly. Giving away the news a bit late, but this happens to be my 50th post! It’s a huge achievement for me, since I wasn’t too keen about it when I started out. Slowly as I started reading other blogs and receiving more readers and feedback on my own, I felt inspired and appreciated, and that helped me come this far.

To celebrate the Golden Anniversary of my blog and as a token of gratitude to all the nice people who visit my blog, comment on it and follow it I’m giving away awards today. Thank you guys…you’re superb!!! Hope the same rapport extends and grows in future.

This goes out to all those lovely pictures we get to see by:

Titaxy

Comfy

Reflections

Preeti

This goes out to the blogs that sometimes provide us with strange stuff, but which is thoroughly enjoyable:

Addy

The Analyst

Vinay

Chatterbox

This is for the blogs that talk about issues and life, and which definitely make us sit up and take notice of things in and around us:

Nu
Titaxy

Mihir

Deven

Rohini

Zephyr

Preeti

Psych Babbler

Hmmm...this one goes to all those Moms out there (can I award myself??) who provide us with the cute and bubbly activities of their sweet kids. I don't know very well about all, but the ones I know are:

Comfy

Zephyr

Reflections

Preeti
Rohini

(Who all can I add here??)

All the girls...this is for you!!!

Titaxy

Comfy

Rohini

Chandrika

Swaram

Psych Babbler

Reflections

Preeti
Chatterbox
Zephyr
D

And finally...this is for all the people mentioned above. For being my 'Blogger Friends' and giving me your valuable comments and feedback!!!

Hope you all liked them!! :) :)

The First Chapter

2010-04-04T04:47:00.000-07:00

I’m a curious blend of anxiety and nervous anticipation right now. The D-day has arrived. Last many days I’d been cursing myself under my breath for acting so hastily and almost called the whole thing off. One part of me kept on blaming me for not thinking it through, whereas the other part was more welcoming and backed my decision supportively. The thought’s been nagging me endlessly day and night though. Am I doing the right thing? Or am I subjecting him to something that he’s not yet ready for?

In case you’re new here you’d wonder what I’m talking about, whereas the more informed ones would probably guess it right. I’m talking about my son’s playgroup which is starting from tomorrow. If you’ve missed the first part of this post you can read it here.

I called up at his school yesterday to confirm the date (and hoping it would be postponed, which wasn’t happening). It is going to be for all but one hour for now, and imagine my amazement when I’m asked to bring along a lunch-box, water bottle, an extra set of clothes and what not! What do kids do there? Arm wrestling in the mud which will make them hungry enough to eat with strangers and a bunch of other toddlers, who they hardly know? What would they do if he cries the moment I leave? What if some other kid towers over him and hits him?

It were these and many more such questions that my mind was preoccupied with all day, even when I went to buy a new Pokemon lunch-box and water bottle for him (which he selected himself!). A’s been trying to calm my nerves down, even offering to take a leave and accompany us. Though it sounded pretty tempting I declined it saying (uncertainly) that I can handle it on my own.

I know it’s not my first day at school, but on my first day all this worrying was done by my Mom, not me! As she recalled this morning I happily waved her good-bye when I entered my class. I hope the same happens tomorrow too, only the ‘what-in-case-it-doesn’t-happen’ part is tough to settle with.

Wish me luck!!!

Happiness per se

2010-04-02T03:01:00.000-07:00

Here's one simple question that I'd like to put to my blogger friends. What would make you happier?

1. Your tiny but honest gesture that made someone else happy while you faded from the picture

2. Something that you did despairingly, but which fetched you recognition and adulation

Please do justify your choice :)

Seven Random Things

2010-03-31T02:27:00.000-07:00

Everyone seems to be bitten by the 'tag' virus! Before you attempt finishing one, another one is ready to pounce upon you. The Analyst and Comfy had tagged me to write seven random things about myself. I'm a very boring person and scratched my head a lot to try and make this an interesting read, but alas! I warn you that you might sleep by the time I'm finished, so read at your own risk! :P

Here goes:

1. I had my first crush when I was in Std V. He was a very cute South-Indian boy in Std VI.I met him when we sat together during our exams. He was very nice to me and was also very good at drawing. Soon after that he left our school and I never got to see him again, but the memory remains :) (and I still have a soft corner for dark South-Indian guys :P)

2. I'm a somniloquist (sleep-talker) and sometimes I'm voluble enough to disturb the person sleeping next to me. My parents, my room-mates and now A; all of them can vouch for this. They’ve been scared out of their wits by me, some or the other time.

3. I have a fetish for hands (in guys!). More often than not you'll find me checking out or admiring a boy's hands more than I'd care to look at his face. It might sound abnormal, but that's me! :P

4. I'm a constant worrier. Call it a manufacturing defect. You'll find me exasperated and deflated trying to fix something or find something which might not be of any real importance. Everything needs to be in place. And the moment something goes out of hand, I get worked up.

5. I seem to have a knack of getting right any recipe that I try and am good at inventing few of my own too. My unseen and unheard of combinations and concoctions turn out fabulously, almost always. And luckily for me, A doesn’t mind being the guinea pig for them. In fact he pushes me to try something new, everytime.

6. Whenever I listen to my favourite song I cannot help but hum or sing along, depending on where I am. I tend to remember the lyrics impeccably even if I haven’t heard the song in years. And yes, I hate it when people mix up or add their own imaginative words to them.

7. I hate putting on make-up. I often find myself marveling at the patience, persistence and will of girls who can spend hours in front of the mirror painting their faces everyday. I don’t mind jazzing it up for some occasion, but on a regular day, kajal and a brown or maroon shaded lipstick is all I need.

Hah! Over and out with it! Seven more people who need to endure this torture after me (this is heartening) : Nu, Chandrika, Rohini, zephyr, Chatterbox, Mihir, Deven

Enjoy!! :)

Positivity with a twist

2010-03-29T21:22:00.000-07:00

We’ve heard, seen and read about people who have certain positivity about them. Being with or around them makes us feel immensely blessed and comforted. It seems like they have a bag full of happy sand which they sprinkle on everyone who comes across them. We would never imagine such people in the role of a heart-breaker or someone who’d hurt us on purpose, would we?

I did come across one such person. I was in college then, and the person in question here, J, was one of my closest friend’s love interest (refraining using boyfriend since she hated him being called that). He was a happy-go-lucky person and due to his affable and easy-going nature he soon became an integral part of our close-knit group. All of us grew very fond of him, instantly. I’d warned him to make sure he meets me every day ‘se just being with him made me feel immensely pleased about myself.

My friend loved this guy to the core and used to day-dream about their future married life. They were from completely different cultures but she was more than happy to embrace his life and family. Life couldn’t have been more rewarding and we were all very happy for her.

Destiny had different plans, alas! Even in our wildest dreams we could never have imagined what followed. This person, who we thought as God-sent in her life, broke to her one fine day that what had seemed fun at first had become achingly serious and he wasn’t ready to take the plunge yet. Wooing her and pleasing her were amusing, but after getting her he was bored.

She tried convincing him that she was in no hurry to get married and he can think this through, again. But he was adamant. All her wails fell on deaf ears and he walked out of her life, as easily as he’d walked into it.

He might be the most positive person in the world, but what he did hardly seems pardonable. What can he be called then, a positive person with a confused state of positivity?

A GRAND Weekend

2010-03-28T04:36:00.000-07:00

‘We’ll come to your place this weekend then. Papa has some work and I hate to be left behind, so I’ll be joining him’. These were my mother’s words when she announced that they’ll be coming on Friday and will be spending the weekend with us. I couldn’t help chuckling all the time while talking to her and even after hanging up. Why? Because I knew that all these were mere reasons to see A Junior! Grandma couldn’t take it that Grandpa (who in turn was cooking up a story himself) would play with their laadla grandson while she’s sitting alone at home watching repeat telecasts of Balika Vadhu. :)

A Junior, in turn, couldn’t be happier with all the attention showered upon him. Last two days he’s been riding high, getting loads of chocolates (which by the way were introduced to him just recently), new toys that he can dissect and pull out open, and lots and lots of hugs and kisses which are best left unnumbered. It’s remarkable (not for me!) how he’s already learnt that it’s his victory when Grandma or Grandpa scold Mamma for being strict about his eating and napping timings!

I never told this to my parents, but seeing all this made me feel a bit jealous, good jealous, if there’s anything like it. I lost both my Grandpas when I was very young. My paternal grandmother never really bothered herself a lot with us. My maternal grandmother was the sweetest and purest human being I’ve ever come across in my life. She was the perfect Grandma; who told us lots of those raja-rani ki kahaniyan, made us our favourite dishes and saved us from our mother’s anger whenever we disrupted her sweet afternoon nap. Even at her age, her skin had a glow that no fairness cream can boast of, and shiny black hair, not one grey. I miss her a lot, and seeing my parents with A Junior I wished I could get a hug from her too. May her soul rest in peace. Love you Ma (that’s what we all called her).

I can now understand why my mother always grumbled when our Grandma took sides with us. It's amusing to see how our own parents change once they get this promotion. Any complaint about A Junior made to my mother falls on deaf ears and I've to eat my own words everytime. As she herself puts it, ' मुद्दल से ब्याज हमेशा प्यारा होता है' (We crave more for the interest earned than the principal amount itself)!

(My value seems to be depreciating fast...but I'm not complaining :P )

About A and A

2010-03-24T05:47:00.001-07:00

Here’s one incident, please tell me what to make of this ‘se I don’t know how I should react.

Me and both Papa and son A were taking an evening walk yesterday. Since A Junior is an accident-prone prankster my eyes were glued on him, especially after he twisted and turned in exasperation to release his hand from mine. He was dancing merrily on the road and attracting every passer-by’s attention. No need to point out that my heart swelled with pride and I was smiling away to glory :)

Now, while I was busy ogling at my kid two boys, who appeared in their teens, passed by us. A Junior who was looking and smiling at me suddenly stopped and turned to look at those two till they were out of sight. I was startled and asked A to help me fathom just what happened.

A smirked mischievously and told me that those boys had been staring at me and A Junior was returning them just that, only his stare was ‘cold and hard’(Yeah right!).

Now, wasn’t A supposed to react to this? While he was quiet and nonchalant, A Junior became my ‘protective’ son who at least gave them the ‘stare’! When I complained about this to A, he shrugged it off saying, ‘You’re looking pretty, and they just looked at you, not like they misbehaved or anything. Big Deal!’

Well??

What are we becoming?

2010-03-22T23:56:00.000-07:00

A typical morning in any household probably consists of the delicious aroma of 'adrak ki chai' and everyone at home struggling to have the fresh and crisp newspaper first. Same is the case at our place, but I intend to do away the possibility of such a thing completely. I've started dreading reading the headlines these days...and why..

Last week it was this, and this week it is this! The string of disturbing news refuses to cease and I cannot help but silently pray for my son's well-being everyday. He's still small, but it won't be long before he'll be abreast with some or the other 'situation'. How will he take it? What will I be able to do to save him from such 'jungli' people who're let out in our society in the garb of learned men?

The elders in our family always told us, mornings are the best time of the day, when you're mood and mind is fresh and delightful. I need to differ from them now. I want to break my habit of heading for the newspaper every morning, 'se every other day it carries some or the other crime committed against women or children, which makes me shudder and go hug my son in his sleep.

What kind of people are we turning into? It is said that people who commit crimes are always instigated, provoked or are suffering from some kind of illness. When such crimes happen so frequently, and in any part of the world, does it mean that the level of 'sane' people is seriously dwindling?

I know running away from the situation or shutting myself off from it completely is not going to serve any purpose. But I'm scared, very scared. What kind of world are our kids going to see when they grow up? We take so many pains to teach them proper mannerisms when some b******s out there can't even be called humans!

I'm sorry for such a digressing and accusing post. Guess it's the paranoid Mom inside me who's reacting very strongly.

I Love You Mom! :)

2010-03-21T09:07:00.001-07:00

It is said that God couldn’t be present everywhere so he created a mother. Whoever said this couldn’t have been more correct, don’t we all agree? No matter what age we are in, the love and attention our mothers bestow upon us means the world to us. Now that I find myself in the role of a mother, I find that pampering all the more endearing and can relate with it from both sides :)

After I got married, my Mom, who until then was a complete house-wife, started associating herself with a whole lot of clubs and organizations to keep her busy and get away from the seemingly ‘empty’ home. Until then I was the one who reminded her with a bouquet of flowers and an ‘I Love You Mom’ card that it was Mother’s Day or Valentine’s Day and she deserved some special treatment (not that I never got her anything on some other random day)! :)

Today I tasted my own medicine, and it was sweet :) It so happened that my Mom’s out with some of her friends attending some seminar and had a whole agenda worked out, so I chose not to disturb her and didn't get to speak with her properly in last two days. She, however, called me up in the morning today and completely out of the blue wished me ‘Happy Daughter’s day!’ I had a lump in my throat and wished if only I could hug her that time! Today had been just another insignificant day until then and I had no idea about this, she turned it around completely! Sweet no!! :D

While we’re on mothers, here’s one more from A Junior. Amongst the many things that he’s obsessed with (and which I never understand), one is his own shadow! Many times I’ve seen him dancing around and adorably watching his shadow falling on the ground and walls and moving along-with in the evening sun. Its funny but cute seeing him run after it and trying to catch it :)

He once clicked his own shadow too, check this out!

I hope I get to meet my Mom real soon, 'se I badly need to feel her loving touch and warm hug. Meanwhile, those of you who are lucky enough to be near their Moms, please go tell them you love them and acknowledge what all they do for you. That's all that means and matters to them :)

The Hi-Five Tag!

2010-03-18T02:43:00.000-07:00

This tag has been created by yours truly and the questions are all impulsive. I know my friends will have a great time answering them. All the while they'll remember me (if only to curse me) and will endlessly scratch their heads, which is exactly what I want!

It is simple. Answer the following five questions and kindly update it in my comments section once you're done so I can see them. You have to tag 5 more people.

5 pathetically horrible movies you’ve seen
1.Saawariya(Everyone has to agree with this!)
2.Prem (Yeah! I saw this one!)
3.300 (Blood and only blood everywhere...felt like puking)
4.Ramsay brothers' horror movies (As a kid they scared me but now I find them rather foolish)
5.The whole Scary Movie series (Very vulgar and utterly disgusting spoofs on some good movies!)

5 accessories you can create out of food

1.Rings made out of round-cut green chillies with cloves used as diamonds
2.Bracelets made out of noodles and held together by colourful bell peppers cut in julianne
3.Spring onions used as flowers and spinach as leaves in hair
4.Any type of berries used as a solitaire
5.An ensemble of fruits made up into a hat

5 places where you won’t be seen dead at
1.Any of the Chowpatty's in Mumbai...I have zero tolerance for the stink, dirt and shopwallahs there :(
2.Having my own Swayamvar on TV! (even if I wasn't married!) :P
3.Any Himesh Reshammiya concert...even if I was paid to see it!
4.Singing or dancing on any public platform!
5.Unisex salons (The idea never settles in, just don't know why!)

5 people you’d love to hit, anytime, anywhere
1.My brother ( Its like an instinct) :)
2.My old friends (They're pretty much used to be hit by me :))
3.Our laundry boy ( Just when we're ready to hit the bed he presses our doorbell, many times!!)
4.Our nosy neighbour who thinks her misbehaving kids are very adorable and belongs to the 'know-it-all' category
5.Receptionists/nurses in clinics (they're all made from the same dough,khadoos and very rude)

5 things you’d do to scare anybody
1.Keep giving someone missed calls. When that person calls up don't pick up the phone. Once the initial irritation subsides he's sure to get scared :)
2.Tell my friend who borrowed my bike that it has no brakes, just after he's picked up speed :P
3.Bang something on the floor or burst a balloon when everyone's watching something 'serious' on TV ;)
4.Minutes before your exam is scheduled to begin tell an already nervous friend that there's been some last minute change and instead of X you now have Y paper (Ouch!)
5.(I did this one and my Mom was just one step short of slapping me!) Hide under the sofa around bed time and make everyone look around for you.

I tag Nu, G, Comfy, T and Reflections!!

Go have fun! :D

Sweet romance

2010-03-18T01:57:00.000-07:00

Here's one song that makes my heart melt everytime I hear it.The reason being its simple lyrics, and the unparalleled voice of the great Mohd Rafi.The movie is Tere Ghar ke Saamne. Nutan looks classy and elegant in a simple salwar kameez while Dev Anand is his usual famous self,trying to woo her. Simply superb!

Dil Ka Bhanwar Kare Pukaar
Pyar Ka Raag Suno
Pyar Ka Raag Suno Re

Phool Tum Gulab Ka Kya Jawaab Aapka
Jo Ada Hai Woh Bahaar Hai
Aaj Dilki Bekahi Aa Gayee Zubaan Par
Baat Yeh Hai Tumse Pyaar Hai
Dil Tumhi Ko Diya Re
Pyar Ka Raag Suno Re...

Dil Ka Bhanwar Kare Pukaar...

Chahe Tum Mitana Par Na Tum Girana
Aansoon Ki Tarah Nigah Se
Pyar Ki Oonchai Ishq Ki Gehrai
Poochh Lo Hamaari Aah Se
Aasmaan Chhoo Liya Re
Pyar Ka Raag Suno Re...

Dil Ka Bhanwar Kare Pukaar...

Is Haseen Paar Pe Hum Na Baithen Haar Ke
Saaya Banke Saath Hum Chalen
Aaj Mere Sung Tu Jhoome Dil Ki Aarzoo
Tujhse Meri Aankh Jab Mile
Jaane Kya Kar Diya Re
Pyar Ka Raag Sunoo Re...

Dil Ka Bhanwar Kare Pukaar...

The Pain of Perfection

2010-03-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

Have you ever come across one of those seemingly perfect people who like to show that they ‘know it all’? You talk about anything under the sun and pat will come the reply, ‘Oh that, ya I’ve seen that long ago’ or ‘Oh you don’t know it, I know it like the back of my hand’ and blah blah blah!!

What makes me wonder is that whether these people are really as smart as they like to pretend or are they are shallow and don’t know a thing of what they say. I mean, it’s not impossible to be well-versed and well-informed, but can one person be a ‘master of all trades’? I doubt that…

I’ve had the misfortune of running into umpteen such people and I insist, talking to or handling such people is tougher than finding water in a desert. These people are surrounded by an impregnable wall of their huge egos and they just won’t take any of your well-meant advice or suggestion. What a pity!

I’m no student of psychology but I do know that every individual has some unique character traits and there can be no argument about their ‘rightness’ or ‘wrongness’. Can we question why mangoes are sweet and lemons are sour? No! They are meant to be that way, how else would the balance of nature be maintained?

There’s a huge difference between them and humans though. You can choose not eating mangoes if you don’t like sweet and ignore the lemon if you don’t like sour. But people cannot be put away like this! Even if a person is nothing but a pain to you, you have to adjust with him, bear him.

Such characters are found everywhere; he can be your colleague who boasts of some lame undeserved and unrewarding expertise to impress your seniors, your relative who’s not achieved anything on his own but was blessed with some ancestral fortune and thinks he’s seen it all, your friend who took tuitions from you until some time back and now advises you on how naïve you are….the list never ends!

My patience wears out sometimes in such cases and to shield myself from the constant bombardment of their unwelcome ‘knowledge’ I have to limitlessly stretch all my tolerance limits. The irritation after it although, refuses to go easily.

What do you do when faced with a similar situation?

How 'fair' is this?

2010-03-13T21:55:00.001-08:00

I don’t want to write a full length post on this one, since we’ve already done that many times. Sadly, the situation as well as the people responsible for it refuse to change, so yet again we have to witness such ‘sorry’ mass mentality.

My sister-in-law gave us a cutie pie bundle of joy this week, my nephew. All of us were indeed mighty excited about this and decided to go meet the new mom and the kiddo over this weekend. Along with us many of her other relatives had also joined in to celebrate the occasion. Amongst them was a sweet but very naughty girl, around 7-8 years old.

The girl slept well beyond 10 o’clock and took milk only after her mother warned her with dire consequences (whatever they were). I was enjoying this whole exercise, even getting bit nostalgic remembering this scene at our home when I was that age. Suddenly, an elderly lady in the family came out and asked her to go take a shower. As expected, she refused. The lady got very furious and said:

नहाएगी नहीं तो काली हो जायेगी...फिर तुझसे शादी कौन करेगा...बैठी रहना घर पे!

I was zapped and didn't know how to react. Worse still, the girl's reaction to this was even more baffling. She seemed hurt, but nonetheless went ahead and took a shower.

I didn't know what to say and to whom, so I just kept quiet. Good thing we're teaching our daughters. The only intention of our lives is to look 'fair' so we can get married easily, that's all.

Just wanted to get this out of my system.

The Line Tag!

2010-03-09T20:58:00.000-08:00

Nu tagged me on this.There are certain rules to be followed which are these:

1. On your blog, provide a link to the Great Bong’s page, May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss.

2. Then write down your top 10 Hindi movie lines or top 10 English movie lines (You can do both if you want. Only one set is required for the contest). If you cannot think of top 10, make it top 5. Cannot think of even 5? Make it top 3. No problem. Only restriction: no two lines from same movie. This is done to make it fair for other movies so that they don’t get swamped by Gunda or Loha or Sholay.

3. Tag your friends to do the same.

4. Come over to the comment-space of this post and post your blog’s link so I can go and read it.

Remember: Before starting the tag, paste points 1 and 4 on your blog so that the rules are available to anyone who wishes to pick the tag up from your blog.

Here are some of our very own Hindi movie lines! :D

(Kindly ignore any minor discrepancies in the dialogues...these are closest to what my memory could recall)

1. Aaj maut ke saath apun ka appintment hai...kya..appintment - Agneepath

Amitabh Bacchan in (his award winning performance and the 'baap' of all 'bhaigiri' films) his intro scene with Vikram Gokhale

2. Jinke ghar sheeshe ke hote hain wo doosro ke gharon pe patthar pheka nahi karte - Waqt

Raj Kumar to the villain of the film

3. Bahot bhook lagi hai kuch khane ko milega - Hum Tum

Saif Ali Khan to Rani Mukherjee when he lands up at her place past midnight

4.Maine Draupadi ka cheer-haran ka idea drop kar diya hai - Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro

Naseeruddin Shah in the famous play which was probably the first ever spoof on Mahabharata

5.Perfection se improve karna thoda mushkil hai - Dil Chahta Hai

Who else, Aamir Khan to Akshaye Khanna

6.Aye Amar isme to goli hi nahi hai - Andaz Apna Apna

(Couldn't ignore this one :))

Salman Khan to Aamir Khan on having a pistol with no bullets in a fight scene

7.Kaun ashfaq miyan keh rahe hain...bade mazakiye ho - Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham

Introduction scene of Kajol and Shahrukh Khan

8.Daag daman pe nahi dil pe liya hai humne - Kabhi Kabhi

Amitabh Bacchhan to Shashi Kapoor on his past with Rakhi

9. Dost jab fail hota hai to bura lagta hai, par dost jab first aaye to aur bhi bura lagta hai - 3 Idiots

Madhavan and Sharman Joshi after Aamir Khan tops the exams

and finally....

10. Itna sannata kyun hai bhai - Sholay

A. K.Hangal to his 'gaonwale'

(Who could've left this one out!!!)

Nu tagged almost each and everybody, but let me see...I tag...rohini, Reflections, Addy, Brij!

Now go on...Enjoy!!! :)

Essence of a Woman :)

2010-03-07T20:42:00.000-08:00

From the time human being came into existence woman has played the pivotal role in any relationship. It was only after Eve came to life that Adam got his first relations within the human species; that of a companion, a struggler and a better half. Since then whether it’s her life or the one’s depending on her, woman has been the one to make ‘relationships happen’.

Whatever role she’s found herself in, woman has never shied away from taking that extra step to ascertain that she meets, or sometimes, even surpasses expectations. Let me present few instances to illustrate my point.

1.A qualified and independent woman who’s never negotiated with anything in her life doesn’t think twice before giving up her flourishing career in favour of her child’s better look-after. This shows her sacrifice.

2.A highly pampered and loved daughter suddenly finds herself in an unknown territory when after marriage her mother-in-law constantly nags about how she can’t cook properly or keeps ridiculing her endlessly. Not the one taught to whine and complain, she bears everything quietly. This shows her resilience.

3.Her life partner didn’t turn out to be the one she’d expected and wanted. She regrets her choice and wishes if only she could go back and undo what she’d done. She’d like to break away but cannot bring herself to do it because she can’t put her kids through the ordeal that’ll follow. This shows her compromise.

4.Her kid sister wants to take up a career option that her parents would never accept. She’s convinced that it’s the best for her and wants elder sis to step in and persuade her parents. After making sure that younger sis knows what she’s doing, she decides to back her. This shows her understanding.

It would be incorrect if I try to portray that a woman has only positive traits, since we all know this cannot be true. Let’s see few negative ones too.

1.Two best friends; one blessed with the most enviable looks while the second couldn’t be more unattractive. Though the latter would never speak openly about it, the adulation and attention the former enjoys makes her dislike her occasionally. This shows her jealousy.

2.A woman at a senior position at work makes the life of her juniors a living hell because she wants to nip any competition in the bud. This shows her insecurity.

3.Wedding plans are always 'in the making' in the minds of all mothers, whether she has a daughter or a son. But the moment her son gets married and shows a little more thoughtfulness for his wife, sparks are bound to fly. This shows her possessiveness.

A person’s nature and character play a vital role in shaping his life and relationships. The way a woman can perceive and nurture relationships, a man never can. That is why a mother is called as an ‘avatar’ of God and a wife is called the better-half. In spite of her negative traits, only a woman can create a ‘complete’ family.

History has proved that whenever kingdoms have been formed or destroyed, there has always been a woman behind it. Power and manipulation are two crucial qualities that a woman possesses, whether she realises it or not. Power to change the world and manipulation to make the world a better place. It is only for her to know how these can be optimally and ethically used.

There’s a famous saying in Sanskrit :

“Triya charitram purushasya bhagyam daivo na janati kuto manushyah”

The translation simply being that when even God himself cannot understand the character of a woman, what a mere human can do, it is his destiny.

Being a woman myself I always found this very disrespectful and prejudiced. But when seen and understood beyond its obvious implication one will realize that it does hold true, for every woman in this world. Yes, no one can understand a woman, that’s because a woman believes in keeping her things to herself; sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of respect or sometimes simply because she’s too modest or proud to accept her success or failure.

So let us take this opportunity of "Women's Day" and celebrate being a woman. Let us forget all our vices and petty differences and come together and enjoy this day with a free spirit and realise what a woman means and stands for! :)

Ring that wedding bell!

2010-03-04T21:25:00.000-08:00

Few days ago I received a call from A’s cousin, T, who was complaining about some girl his parents have seen for him and how he wants the matter to be put on hold. Following this I had a long discussion with his mother aka my aunt-in-law, but determined as she was, she paid no heed to my defences, all my convincing powers failed and the ‘ladka dikhane ka program’ went ahead as planned.

The girl’s family visited their place and as I hear, looked visibly impressed. After all, who wouldn’t like his daughter to be married to a guy who has a good job, good social standing and a good family background?! They invited our family over to their place to proceed, now with ‘ladki dikhana’.

So now we’re here. Our family’s waiting for an auspicious occasion to go see her. From what I saw in her bio-data, the girl’s good-looking, well-educated and belongs to a good family. ‘Reports’ about the girl have also been favourable. My aunt-in-law has decided that she’ll complete all the minor formalities to ‘book’ the girl before any wrong-doer turns up and messes the whole thing.( You've got to be kidding!!)

T is shaking in his shoes since he feels its all happening a bit too soon. He called me up again to share his nervousness and his inability to compel his parents to take it slow. Here’s how our conversation went:

T : Bhabhi, Mom and Dad have already decided on what all they’ll give the girl once everything falls in place!
Me: Why don’t you tell them you want more time to think?
T: I tried, but you know them na..they are saying there’s a right time for everything and there’s no point in waiting now.
Me: Do you not like the girl? Tell them so..
T: No no..there’s nothing wrong with the girl. I’ve heard only good things about her from everywhere.
Me: Then what’s the problem?
T: If I get married I’ll loose my freedom. I won’t be able to come home and leave at my own will.
Me: This will happen even if you marry after 5 yrs. You have certain responsibilities after marriage. What’s wrong in that?
T: May be you’re right. But what about my freedom?

And the same thing continued for another hour.....grrrrr……Gimme a break!
Now, if you ask me I’m kind of confused as to what T exactly wants. If he wants to marry, why not just accept it and marry! Or may be he enjoys us trying to persuade him to do it. May be he enjoys the attention. Honestly, it gets a boring after I’ve repeated the same things to him over and over again.

But as they say, marriage comes with a baggage, so आलिया भोगासी असावे सादर !!

Talent in the making

2010-03-01T23:33:00.000-08:00

Having a kid at home unarguably implies that you have to be prepared to face innumerable and endless unimaginable surprises and unforgettable moments. This time round I'm talking about a 'new' thing that my son has learnt. No matter how much I try to hide it, he almost always finds my cellphone and keeps clicking photographs of God knows what! More often than not I find my memory card full of his curious and confusing photo-art. Sharing few of his 'pictures' with you...and yes...when I tried to click some similar ones myself...I miserably failed :P

Interesting and impressive huh??

Child Abuse: A Disturbing Truth

2010-02-25T23:45:00.000-08:00

When I was young the ‘SEX’ word was a taboo and anything pertaining it essentially needed to be spoken in whispers and hushed tones. That was the time when sex education was not a compulsory part of our curriculum and cases of sex abuse against children were not very frequently seen or heard of. The world has changed a lot after that, and unfortunately, for the worse.

Apart from coping with the increasing competition, the pressure of better performance and the burden of their parents’ expectations, one more thing that kids have to face nowadays is the sexually explicit overtures of their family members, friends, neighbours and teachers. There’s not a single day when the newspaper does not carry some story about such a crime being committed against some minor. There are two such accounts that I’d like to share.

1.K belonged to a typical upper middle-class family. Her family consisted of her parents, a kid sister, grandparents and one uncle. Everything was going fine until a far-off relative of hers, another uncle, who found a job in their city came to live with them. From the day he entered their home he was overtly nice to her, giving her presents and not losing a single chance to touch or feel her when no one was around. She was young then and too naïve to interpret his advances. He continued his lewd acts and she never objected as she had started liking him. However, as she grew older and came to understand that theirs was an incest relationship, she decided she should confide in her family about it and asked him to face the music with her. As expected, he begged himself out. He wanted her to continue giving him all the pleasures but he didn’t want the world to know about it! With help from close friends and maintaining deliberate distance from him, she finally came out of the ridiculous situation. Now she’s happily married to a wonderful man, and the pervert still keeps trying unsuccessfully to get lucky with her.

2.I remember I was some 10-12 years old when I’d first seen on television, the story of a 4-year old girl who was abused by her father, repeatedly. The girl’s mother had reported the matter to the police and got him arrested. She said that she’d found her daughter hiding under the bed afraid that her father had come home, while it was her. She took her close, hugged her tight and asked her what had happened. To her horror and sheer disbelief, the kid enacted what all her father had been doing with her on the pretence of giving her a bath or putting her to sleep. It was all very disturbing. The lady couldn't stop her tears while explaining what all her little baby had gone through. She'd been there all the time, but she'd noticed nothing, sensed nothing. She'd assumed that they were bonding, but it turned out to be a nightmarish experience, for both the ladies. I wonder how long it must’ve taken for them to come back to a normal life and put such a dark past behind them.

The whole day after that I couldn’t think straight. The little girl’s face refused to leave my mind. My stomach turned at even the thought of it. When the person who’s support to look after you, protect you, pamper you and love you turns out to be a sex-starved monster, what can one do?

The government is taking steps to create awareness in school-going kids by giving them sex education and knowledge about how to identify any untoward behaviour. As parents it is our job also to make ourselves approachable to our kids and making them confide in us. It is only when they feel we’ll understand and empathize with them that such crimes will be easily detected and the culprits will be caught hold of and punished.

It’s very heartening to see everyone speak up openly and uninhibitedly about the many rampant issues faced by women. These concerns have been around for some time and it’s about time we not only create awareness regarding them but also do whatever we can in our capacity to put a check on them.

Choosing your own relationships

2010-02-24T02:15:00.001-08:00

I'm Nu from Randomness had tagged me for the entry to this blog post at Indusladies on occasion of Women's Day. I've chosen to write on Relationships.

I’d like to define relationships as those complex alliances wherein all the associated parties are related, with or without their consent and will. They’re supposed to bring about a positive change in our lives and help us grow and prosper. But what happens when one such relationship becomes the saddest truth of your life, a weight that you don’t want to carry?

Let me tell you a small story about a girl, say S. S belonged to a conservative joint family. Her family consisted of her Granny, many uncles and aunts and a whole lot of cousins. She however was the only child of her parents. Affluence was not something that her family had been able to enjoy. Her Grandpa had passed away when her father was young, and Granny had brought up all her kids all by herself. Her father was the youngest of all brothers.

She was the apple of her parents’ eye. While living in a joint family it was not possible for them to cater to all her wishes, but they did all they could for her. She was a vivacious, chirpy and pampered little girl with many dreams. When she stepped into teenage, as inadvertently happens with most of us, she fell in love. The boy had all she could ask for; good looks, good family and a good job. But there was a catch. The guy was from another caste and hence an alliance was complicated. She endlessly tried to convince her family, but it all went into vain. Even her parents refused to take her side. Sadly, she couldn’t bring herself to rebel against her own family. The end result: she was married to another guy much against her wish and packed away to a faraway city.

Let’s see how life changed for her post-marriage. This girl who used to lighten up the mood in any room with her mere presence had become unnaturally quiet and gloomy after marriage. Her resentment for her family was understandable, but unfortunately her husband too never tried to make her feel loved and cared for. She tried to accept her husband, his family, his life, but it was easier said than done. There was a void in her life that refused to get filled up. While she was battling with all these problems, she had no idea that there was a storm just waiting to hit her.

To cut a long story short, she met someone. Let’s call this someone R. R came into her life like a ray of light. He became the friend she needed, the companion she desired. He listened to her talk about her life, her likes and dislikes, her music, her poetry, everything that no one had ever tried to know. He made her laugh again, made her want to live again, made her love again. Yes! She fell in love with him. Without her knowledge, but slowly and very surely he became a part of her life. I know this is not ideally what a woman is expected to do, but she did. Wasn’t it obvious?

You’d ask me what happened next, right? What followed was not something anyone had anticipated. She came out in the open about her relationship with him since she didn’t want to cheat her husband behind his back. The relationship with R was sacred to her and she wanted it to command all the respect it deserved.

What I wanted to portray with this story was that everyone in this world should be given the right and freedom to make their own choices. We cannot choose our family, our relatives, but we can choose our friends and our life partners. These decisions should be taken with the approval of all people involved or we’d witness another story like that of S. In this case S had the courage to stand up for her love and her desired life, but what about those not-so-courageous ones who feel trapped but still are a part of such a bad marriage?

I agree my choice of topic is different from the usual ones, but I strongly feel that we need to come out of the closet and accept things for what they are. Living in ignorance and fear of truth can only result in us living unhappily.

I tag Reflections,Titaxy and D.

The Good and Bad World

2010-02-21T07:16:00.000-08:00

My Name Is Khan had put forward a thought about the world consisting of only two types of people: good and bad. Conceptually, and broadly speaking, it might be true, but we’ll all unanimously agree that there are elements of good and bad in all of us. When we are judging a person we do not know anything about, it takes only but one good or bad episode for us to be or not to be impressed by him.

I’m going to write about something on the same lines. It’s not something that’s never happened with anyone, but I’m going to talk about it in the relevance of the essentially good and bad people we come across in our everyday lives, when an assumingly ‘sober’ person displays his dark side and a visibly ‘mawali’ person turns out as the good one.

While travelling long distances in Mumbai me and A prefer to take the ‘conventional’ mode of transport, the local train. The travelling time is reduced to half since traffic is not a problem and baby A too does not seem to mind the ride. In fact he enjoys all the activity around, he even smiles at the hawkers and eunuchs sometimes, much to my annoyance. Anyway, coming back to our topic..

Since we were travelling together and it was a Saturday, A suggested that I enter into the general compartment with him, and I obliged. As luck would have it, the train only got more and more crowded with every passing station. A squeezed his way through the crowd, but petrified with the thought of me brushing against those men stinking of God-knows-what-all; I cornered myself near the door.

An elderly man was standing next to me and was supposedly carrying something in his hands. Gingerly he moved step by step near me and his hand touched me suggestively. I ignored it a couple of times assuming it to be a genuine mistake. However, not the one to give up on it, he was persistent. I decided to take him to task and reprimanded him while all the other stunned men stared at us incredulously. He got the message alright! All this while A didn’t have the slightest idea of what happened.

While coming back home the same situation stared at me in the face and A promised that this time round he wouldn’t leave my side even for a second. What followed, ironically, was something I hadn’t expected. A guy who looked like a typical ‘tapori’ saw me struggling for some space to stand, and very courteously indeed, left his place and offered it to me. The smile on my face that time was honest and genuinely thankful.

Eve-teasing is a crime that probably every girl has to bear with, but few have the courage to stand up to it or raise their voice against it. We choose to keep quiet in fear of embarrassment in front of others or scared of what else might follow. This in turn only encourages these perverts to take us for granted and continue their sleazy acts. I’ve always chosen not to take it lying down and would persuade every girl to think and act similarly.

These two episodes forced me to think about how deceptive appearances can be. We classify a person as good or bad based on what we’ve seen or heard about him, but it does not comprise his whole personality. Therefore, I beg to differ from Karan Johar and Shahrukh Khan on this idea. Only good and only bad people can exist only in a perfect world, and ours is what imperfection stands for.

An honest confession...

2010-02-18T23:50:00.000-08:00

Under this tag I'm going to put up the lyrics of my favourite songs. This is one such gem. The song is sung by the queen of melody Lata Mangeshkar herself and the movie is Khamoshi ( old one) . Hope you like it as much as I do :)

Humne dekhi hai un aankhon ki mehekti khushboo
Haath se chhuke ise rishton ka ilzaam na do
Sirf ehsaas hai ye rooh se mehsoos karo
Pyaar ko pyaar hi rehne do koi naam na do

Humne dekhi hai un aankhon ki mehekti khushboo
Haath se chhuke ise rishton ka ilzaam na do
Humne dekhi hai..

Pyaar koi bol nahin, pyaar awaaz nahin
Ek khamoshi hai sunati hai kaha karti hai
Na ye bujhti hai na rukti hai na thehri hai kahin
Noor ki boond hai sadiyon se baha karti hai

Sirf ehsaas hai ye rooh se mehsoos karo
Pyaar ko pyaar hi rehne do koi naam na do..

Humne dekhi hai un aankhon ki mehekti khushboo
Haath se chhuke ise rishton ka ilzaam na do
Humne dekhi hai..

Muskurahat si khili rehti hai aankhon mein kahin
Aur palakon pe ujaale se jhuke rehte hain
Honth kuch kehte nahin, kaanpte honthon pe magar
Kitne khamosh se afsaane ruke rehte hain

Sirf ehsaas hai ye rooh se mehsuus karo
Pyaar ko pyaar hi rehne do koi naam na do

Humne dekhi hai un aankhon ki mehekti khushboo
Haath se chhuke ise rishton ka ilzaam na do
Humne dekhi hai..

Ye Atithi Kab Jayenge?

2010-02-17T01:54:00.000-08:00

I’ve found myself in a real fix right now and I hope that by the time you finish reading this you can suggest some resolution for my predicament.

We’ve all heard about ‘nesting’, and about how would-be mothers of all species strive to create a cosy and comfy environment for their little ones and make sure they’re very well looked after. It sounds very sweet and emotional, but this same thing has become a hindrance for me.

One thing that I got as a house-warming present (unwarned as it was) for our new home was a bunch of pigeons who consider our balcony their permanent residence. We have three balconies and all of them have at least two or more of these creatures hanging around them at all times.

I tried not to obsess or panic and just let them be, but accepting the muck these pigeons spread is a bit too much, especially with a kid in the house. Added to that the constant clamor and that fluttering of feathers is impossible to bear. I’m kind of petrified that some day they might break some window glass with their constant banging against them. Honestly it is sometimes frightening, for my son as well as for me.

As if all this wasn’t enough these pigeons have started laying ~~legs~~ eggs (oops!!) in our balcony and the clutter has increased even more. They’re also destroying my plants, crapping on them and devastating my rose buds. I try to scare them away but they come back in no time since their young ones are still in there.

As a kid I remember being impressed with and marvel at how meticulously and strenously these birds build their nests on tree branches. The guilt of us humans cutting down trees to make way for creating homes for us and robbing all these birds of their own homes took over me and I took it all with a bold demeanor till now. I’m a mother myself and I can understand this motherly concern, even if it is regarding them.

Something however needs to be done about this before these visitors become our permanent non-paying guests and we become unofficial caretakers of their current as well as future generations.

I’m clueless. Can you help me arrive at a proper conclusion?

Lets Celebrate Love

2010-02-11T01:20:00.000-08:00

I'd decided that I'll wait until Valentine's Day to post this, but as A says, why should the day or the occasion be any excuse or condition to express anything for each other? With all due respect to St.Valentine, the whole concept is a bit exaggerated. For love, lovers and expressions, there's no 'mahurat' required. So any hopefuls who're planning to woo their sweethearts with gifts, cards or flowers this V-day, why wait when you can do it rightaway? We girls love getting pampered anyday! :)

Here's something very close to my heart....

It is so good to see we both know,
That we love each other more than we show.
Our love is boundless needless to say,
There's just no place for hate and refrain.

Your eyes and my eyes speak countless words,
Your looks more fatal than a thousand swords.
Your hands on my face and your hands in my hair,
Leave me with a feeling of just nothing to care.

This whole world seems to be confined up to you,
You and I only is like a dream come true.
Whenever the world is giving a rough hand,
Your caressing arms are like an oasis in sand.

I'm taking up this chance today to tell my husband that I love him a lot. No amount of words can explain what I feel for him. Even when I've been irrational and foolishly demanding he's been there for me, loved me and cared for me. I want him to know that no matter what future may hold for us I'll always be there with him and continue loving him like I have..always. I say this to him over and over, and I'm saying this again, 'I Love You'! :)

Lets celebrate love for all that it means to us and let our special someone know that its because of them that the seconds in our life have become memorable moments that are going to be cherished forever.

Finally I join in..

2010-02-09T05:43:00.000-08:00

Everybody’s reading, writing and talking about books these days, so I figured I need to join too. Although I have to ruefully agree that my toddler doesn’t allow me the luxury of enjoying a good read, I’m taking time out to read some not-so-serious books that do not require continuity or attention. One such book that I read sometime back was ‘ The Inscrutable Americans’.

The story is about a typical Indian village boy Gopal who arrives in the US for further studies. The son of a hair-oil manufacturer, although he’s very good at academics and a near-genius in his subject he’s a goofy character who’s as inscrutable to the westerners as they are to him.

The book talks about the various mishaps and misadventures that take place with him. Starting from eating beef to finding a girl who he can lose his virginity to, he does things he’d never dream of doing in his own village. His interaction with other students in his campus and the oddities he has to face while coming to terms with the never-seen-before surroundings are humorously described.

The ‘culture shock’ that the sweet and innocent Gopal experiences and the way he matures towards the end for good are nicely depicted. The story seems very real, and succeeds in making us realize the need to exercise tolerance for and understanding of different cultures.

Do not expect a masterpiece and you’ll surely like it.

Whose Accent is it anyway?

2010-02-06T03:11:00.000-08:00

I was loitering around a shop yesterday looking for something I could pick up, nothing specific in mind. Just then two girls, may be around 20, came and stood behind me. Both of them kept talking non-stop, without the slightest care that there was someone standing within audible range. I tried not to listen, but failed. All other things aside, what did strike as amusing to me was the accent they were talking in.

It was the unmistakable ‘made-up’ accent we find common amongst most teenagers and call-centre people these days. Strained, deliberate and trying-too-hard-to-sound-right type. The use of correct words and grammar didn’t really seem to bother them a lot, but their ‘accent’ never slipped. Someone sure did a clean job! Kudos!

With the increasing influence of the west on our youth and our culture(and call centres mushrooming in every nook and corner of metros) a new breed of people is coming up slowly and steadily, the ones that are confused and pathetically caught between the two. These are the ones who would go to any lengths to be a part of the ‘hep-n-happening’ crowd. So to begin with, this ‘fake’ accent is a reliable style-mantra. It’s hilarious seeing these people rattle something that’s not easy for them to understand.

This whole ‘accented’ speaking is not new to us Indians though. If we travel the length and breadth of India we’ll find a new culture and a new language every few hours. Every state has a different language, a different tone, a different dialect that identifies every person belonging to that region. That’s why we’d never confuse a Bengali with a South-Indian or a Gujrati with a North-Indian. It is what we can call the ‘gift of the land’.

Let’s ask ourselves this: is it necessary to have an accent? Well, I don’t think so. I feel an accent is not learnt, it is acquired. The language that we’ve been speaking since childhood sure has a strong imprint on us, and it does come out even when we’re talking in some other language.

As far as British and American accents are concerned, the way English is used and taught in these countries is very different from us. The rolling of tongue, the pronunciation, the stressing on words is different. Hence to acquire it is quite an exercise for us.

Personally, I’m proud of the fact that I don’t have an accent. If I want, I can learn any language and use it like I’m born with it. Nothing can give me away. This I feel is better than the ‘fake’ accents people pick up and revel on. Are they so fixated not to understand that people can see through them?

It is not just about the way of speaking; our roots, our education, our individuality make us the person we are. All these put together certainly can give us the confidence and poise that nothing else can. Hence accent or no accent, what really matters is our belief in us. We shouldn’t feel the need to portray ourselves as someone we’re not or even try to hide what we are.

Finally, whether accents are good/essential/stylish or not is a debatable issue, and I’d leave it to others to decide. To each his own!

Take these signs seriously! ;)

2010-02-05T01:01:00.000-08:00

And the cycle begins..

2010-02-03T08:08:00.000-08:00

My son is almost a year and a half old, and as is the norm these days I got him enrolled in a playgroup. The whole process was unbelievably complicated and lengthy. First, to zero-in on the best ones and secondly to shortlist those that are convenient. And then, as always there are people who give unwarranted advice and increase your bewilderment further.

I went with full zest to find out all about them; the atmosphere, the attitude of teachers, the playing area, the activities, everything! Needless to say, only the one I found fit for my kiddo was chosen. But now that the formalities are done with, I’m having my own doubts about sending my son there or not itself! :(

He’s learnt to speak all but a few words, cannot eat on his own and is a pampered little kid. I mean, he’s so small. Isn’t it unfair to him to make him leave the loving cushion of his family and go out in the world on his own? What’ll he do if he needs me? How’ll he tell anyone what he wants? God, I’m going crazy!!

When I told A what I felt, the only reply I got was that he had to do all the things that kids of his age do or he’ll feel left out. May be he’s right. However I find my motherly instincts calling out suddenly (and more frequently these days) and I feel this urge to just hug my son tightly and not let go.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or whether all moms go through this stage. Next time I talk to my mom I’ll make it a point to ask her about what she felt when she dropped me to school the first time. I’m sure she must’ve waited outside my class nervous and worried as to how I must be doing, since I know I’m going to do the same. That’s how all moms are!! :)

Phir Mile Sur...Really?

2010-02-02T22:11:00.000-08:00

A lot has already been said about how good or how bad the old version of ‘Mile sur’ is. My post comes a bit late, but nevertheless..

Every one of us was a bit apprehensive, but curious none the less to see how this classic ode to patriotism would come of age. Now that it’s out for all of us to see, it seems like it was too much of noise over nothing.

I remember the mass effect the older version had created. People left whatever work they had at hand whenever the song was shown and flocked their television sets to see it over and over again. It was sort of a tribute to and a celebration of and for our country and our people.

As a child whenever I saw it, I was left with a feeling of oneness with our fellow countrymen and a lump in my throat, feeling very proud for the great personalities our country had produced in various fields. Although there were languages in there that I didn’t know, I’d memorized those lines so I could sing along whenever the song was shown!

The new version however doesn’t seem even close to it. Everyone who’s seen it must’ve his own judgement about it, but as far as I’m concerned the negative points are far more than the positive ones. I’ll take them one at a time:

1.    To be fair, it does have a fresh and youthful look. Lots of new locations have been explored.
2.    I liked the great maestros Pandit Shiv Kumar Sharma and Ustad Amjad Ali Khan featuring with their respective sons. Good blend of the old and the new.
3.    Some social causes have also been inculcated. Like; education of the girl child and physically challenged kids, caring for senior citizens etc.
4.    Wonder what Shahid Kapur, Shilpa Shetty, Ranbir Kapoor or even Deepika Padukone did to justify their presence.
5.    Abhishek Bachchan continues to live in the reflected glory of his wife and father, or else he wouldn’t show up here.
6.    Sachin Tendulkar? Anil Kumble? Rahul Dravid? Vishwanathan Anand?
7.    The magic of Pandit Bhimsen Joshi’s and Lata Mangeshkar’s voice is seriously missing.
8.    The song has many highs and lows throughout, I find that rather disturbing.

To summarize, the new version is just a song, not the message that the earlier one was. At a time when the common man is reeling under the pressure of growing inflation and food prices, it could’ve had a strong impact, had it not been just a high-budget publicity campaign for film stars and celebrities. There was an inspiration and honesty in the older version that lacks in this one.

Mere singing the same lines doesn’t help in sending the message across. It is not always what is being said, but also, who’s saying it that lends credence to a thought.

Matters of the pounds

2010-01-28T05:09:00.000-08:00

It has been my constant companion since childhood. Seasons..friends...pimples..came and went but it never left my side. It stuck to me like a loyal( but dreaded) friend. Even if I tried to shake it off it always managed to find its way back to me, like a bad coin.It has given me sleepless nights and tiresome days. Guess who am I talking about? It is one of the most saddening, despicable and worrisome thing for any girl : Weight!!!! (Ouch :( )

Blame it on anything: post-natal weight, holiday weight, weight due to stress, over-eating..the reasons are plenty..but the outcome is the same.The rightward moving arrow on the weighing machine and the instinctive irritation followed by the imperative, ' This can't be possible!

I've always dreaded seeing those blessed girls who hogged like anything and not an ounce of it showed. I had a couple of friends when I was younger who were like walking-talking bamboo sticks. Where I was fighting with cutting down on calories these girls cried 'se they needed to put on a few kgs! God knows how much I wanted to just.....take out my anger on them :P

I've probably been on diet most of my life (although it doesn't show ;) ). How I've missed eating so many of my favourite dishes! But to no avail. My hard work (read forced exercise) and limited intake have got me nowhere.

So now I've decided. Limitations are good but only to a certain limit. My heart's not under serious pressure right now and I'm not exactly fat as Ugly Betty. I can chill out and live and eat heartily and not worry about what all's gonna happen later. I'd like to believe that my 'cute' factor won't get affected by a few kgs here and there :)

Hai na???

Been there..done that??

2010-01-17T02:19:00.000-08:00

Heyyy guys...

Its been quite some time since I last posted and trust me I missed being in action :(

I've been spending some considerable time with my family (sometimes just out of no choice :( ) and have to write this.

I need to share something I'd written some time back and which I didn't get a chance to post earlier. Nevertheless its most appropriate that I pour my heart out today :)

I'd experienced few situations wherein the reaction of my mother and mother-in-law was poles apart and I reckoned that this probably happens with everyone.

I'd also seen some friends go through some awfully silly experiences 'se they could never match the expectations of their so-called MILs. Can you identify with this too??

1. Your laborious experiment in the kitchen was a complete flop!

M : Never mind, try again!

MIL : Our neighbour's D-I-L is so good, she'd never do this!

2. You're planning to go for a movie.

M : Make sure you come straight home after the movie.

MIL : I have some work. Make sure dinner/lunch is ready by the time I'm back.

3.You want to attend your nappy friend's wedding.

M : Enjoy!

MIL : Family functions are important. Is it necessary to go?

4. You've been working late everyday and havent been able to clean up the mess at home.

M : Dont stress yourself. Hire some help.

MIL : You're so lazy. I managed everything on my own,alone.

5. You've put on weight and want to join a gym.

M : Make sure the money you spend doesn't go down the drain.

MIL : There's a truckload of work at home. Why do you need a gym?

6. You want a quiet evening alone with your husband.

M : Would leave you alone and support you.

MIL : This privacy thing is so exaggerated. How can you leave us behind?

7. You're 25. No kids yet.

M : There's time, but don't wait too long.

MIL : At your age I had 2 kids. What's the meaning of not being ready?

8. You have an important presentation to prepare and some guests drop in unexpectedly.

M : You're not needed the whole time, get back to work when you can.

MIL : Its not polite to excuse yourself. How can you expect me to slog alone at this age!

I'm sure I'm gonna receive some real strong replies on this.Well...brickbats and flowers...both are welcome :)

A piece of seamed memories #2

2009-12-22T06:00:00.000-08:00

I realised I've written on some 'serious' topics of late, so to lighten up the mood here's another poem from me :)

If at all there's a smile that can steal one's heart,
I want to flash that smile for you.

If at all there's a moment that can take my breath away,
I want to live that moment with you.

If at all there are eyes that can speak volumes,
I want to have those eyes for you.

If at all there's a feeling that people call love,
I want to share that feeling with you.

If at all there's a joy that knows no bounds,
I know I'll find that joy with you.

More than a woman

2009-12-19T06:37:00.000-08:00

From time immemorial woman has been perceived as the epitome of love, dedication, sincerity and resilience. Whatever role she’s in, she’s a role-model for everyone. In our culture we’ve believed in setting her on a pedestal and offering her prayers for our well-being, safety and happiness.

Having said this, in today’s world we’re committing crimes, acting inexcusably and what more, we’re not even ashamed of it. One such heinous crime that’s only been increasing in recent years is: female foeticide.

Let’s see some facts first. Sex-selective abortion has been seen as worsening the sex ratio in India, and thus affecting gender issues related to sex compositions of Indian households. According to the 2001 census, the sex-ratio in India is 107.8 males per 100 females, up from 105.8 males per 100 females in 1991. The ratio is significantly higher in certain states such as Punjab (126.1) and Haryana (122.0).

Our society is full of hypocrites. Everyone wants a bride for their (assumingly) eligible son but having a daughter themselves would make them bawl in disappointment. In our country where we consider females as goddesses we see intolerable importance and priority given to the male child. The girl child is considered as a liability, a burden that’s to be borne till the time she gets married, and even after that.

What’s saddening is that, more often than not, women themselves are party to such inhuman acts. It’s true that nowadays sex-determination tests have been strictly restricted, but the fact that female foeticide is still on the rise proves that there’s certainly some loophole somewhere in the system.

Nowadays, there are various methods that can be used to pre-determine the sex of the child. Only doctors are privy to such information and knowledge, but even they fall prey to their greed for money and become an accomplice in eradicating the issue completely.

There’s no field today where women have not left a mark. Whether she’s a working woman or a housewife, she’s proved time and again that she can handle and balance everything with equal alacrity. Doesn’t it then become the collective responsibility of families as well as doctors to act with dignity and accept the truth for what it is?

I’m a woman and am proud to be one. I’m proud of the fact that I’ve been given a boon by nature, that to give birth to a new life. And I'd like to believe every woman feels this way.

Its time we put a stop to all these practices. Or else it won’t be long before we’ll see this world full of "surplus males" who will have no females for them.

Late Late Late :(

2009-12-19T05:32:00.000-08:00

Hi All...

I have been keeping very busy of late and have been finding it real tough to keep up with all of you. There's also been some technical problem due to which I'm not able to access any blogs (including mine) on my laptop, and hence the late replies to your comments or sometimes no replies at all :(:(

Please bear with this for some more time and continue writing in...your comments and replies make my day :)

Getting some answers

2009-12-10T04:10:00.000-08:00

Last week we shifted our house. Before shifting there are some minor rituals to be performed in the new house. After completing them, as I was waiting for the sweeper to come in and clean up the apartment our new neighbor barged into our house with full authority to , in her own words, ‘check on the new people coming in’.

She had a whole questionnaire prepared for me. Where did we live before this? Who all are there in our family? Am I a working woman or a house-wife? How old is my son? What does my husband do? Where is his office? And on and on and on…

Within a matter of a few minutes she managed to get all my basic details, which would’ve taken longer to summarize had I been filling up the application form for a passport. She even suggested a new maid to look after my son.

What did strike as something peculiar to me was that she assumed that we had a Marathi lineage. May be my fluent Marathi fueled that thought. She went ahead and told me that most people in our apartment are ‘apli manasa’, as in Marathi people. I had to politely correct her that we belonged to a Marwari family, after which she again assumed (!!!!) that we had some jewellery shop or something!

The lady tested my patience no end, but I managed to keep my cool. I can vouch that she looked a bit disappointed that I was not one amongst them. Within moments her language and tone changed from ‘we’ to ‘you people’. It feels very sad that we call ourselves a secular country and even then stress on the ‘caste’ part so much.

We don’t mind when we visit foreign countries and are called as Indians, but when we’re in India we’re not Indians. Here we are identified with our caste or religion. We see colonies and borders everywhere. We see people supporting only people from their own caste on various occasions.

How right is this? Isn’t it time we think beyond these petty things and look at the larger picture, our country?India’s been already broken down into many parts, are we waiting for another disaster to open our eyes?

A Matter of Publicity

2009-12-09T07:43:00.000-08:00

One bug that seems to have bitten every person who is or is a wannabe celebrity is PUBLICITY. It is interesting to see the levels to which people will stoop just to get their picture published in a newspaper, or getting aired on television even if it is just for a moment.

Whenever I read ‘Bombay Times’, inadvertently my gaze settles on the Page 3 section which is filled with excerpts of some high-profile party, some brunch or some social-do. It is complete with the list of attendants; the A-listers and Page 3 regulars. The reporter religiously reports on what the menu was, who wore what and who made a fashion faux-pas. What I find very endearing is when these people organize a fund-raising show for underprivileged kids or some social cause, and they come for the event dressed as if it was a fashion parade. They wouldn’t have an inkling of why they’re there but they’d ‘support the cause’ for what it is worth! So much for publicity!

Our film stars have always fancied this. Whether it’s the release of a movie, judging or participating in a reality show, and if nothing else, featuring in commercials, we see them splashed all over, in all forms of media. These people never fail to grab an opportunity to make an appearance, even if it is someone’s wedding, birthday or even a funeral(remember Teji Bacchan’s funeral or the latest, Shilpa Shetty’s wedding?). They turn up for the event dressed in their designer’s best, gladly posing for the cameras and giving some pertinent responses. They have very public affairs and break-ups, both of which ensure ample print-space for them.

The lesser mortals, for whom the doors won’t open on their own, adopt tried-and-tested methods. Attaching your name to a famous personality accusing him/her of using you or making bold statements, which are sure to make eye-balls roll. No one knew Monica Lewinsky before her affair with Bill Clinton came out or the recent Tiger Woods’ series of affairs with many girls which don’t seem to stop! These men had to face the wrath of the whole world, but the girls became celebrities overnight. The truth behind these incidents is irrelevant, what matters is that these girls got the better deal, everyway.

Closer home, the best example for this would be Rakhi Sawant. The kind of stories about her that we see and read is both desperate and cheap. We see her appearing on reality shows; trapped in a house with few others, picking up her groom in her ‘swayamwar’ or trying to raise kids with her current partner. We see her histrionics after she breaks up with whoever she was with, if she’s signed for a movie or there’s something brewing between her family members. What’s worse is that people do fall prey to these gimmicks and all this hype usually pays off.

This signifies the sorry state of journalism and media responsibility, worldwide. In their quest to increase their viewership and readership media populace would do anything. Added to that the desperate brigade of wannabe celebrities, and we have a coalition publicity campaign.

What needs to be understood is that too much public scrutiny can mar a person’s or couple’s image. Jennifer Aniston had said that her marriage with Brad Pitt broke because of the constant media glare. Princess Diana lost her life while trying to hide away from the paparazzi. We know that as public figures these people owe us some amount of accountability, but it is for them to decide where to draw the line. And for us, well, it’s good to get entertained but not cool when it is in bad taste.

Just to share...

2009-11-29T06:24:00.000-08:00

I don’t know what I’ve been doing with myself of late. Everything’s just the same, but there’s always some or the other thought that keeps nagging me. I find myself getting tense and worried over the most trivial issues. It feels like there’s a hollow and it is pulling me inside.

I do all things that have to be done, but there’s a detachment, like I’m doing it only for the heck of it. There’s no reason to feel this way. I did what I wanted to do, have what I wanted to have, then why? I feel like I’ve lost my faith.

There comes a time in our life when we need to retrospect and re-evaluate our actions and decisions, to accept our mistakes and try to correct them.

Is this my time for it?

Fiction and Reality

2009-11-27T04:14:00.000-08:00

We’ve heard of films that are fictional or realistic. What do we call those films that are an impeccable concoction of both? Realistic fiction? Fictional reality?

It happened first, and then it happened again. First we saw him dressed in dhoti carrying a lathi in his hand and giving us those signature quotes on ahimsa, then we saw him dressed in quintessential regal attire with the unmistakable Maratha king dialect. Know what I’m talking about?

It was first seen in Lage Raho Munnabhai. We saw our great national icon the late Mahatma Gandhi (Dilip Prabhavalkar) come to life on screen giving his, now world-famous, quotes to a notorious but lovable Munnabhai ( Sanjay Dutt) to help him ensure a date with his muse, Jhanvi( Vidya Balan). What came to be termed as ‘Gandhigiri’ in the movie went on to become a nationwide craze. The scenes in which Munnabhai has illusions of Gandhi rendering him tips and guidance are handled well.

It was a one-of-a-kind story, when a real-life character was incorporated in a film and was shown conversing and giving advice to a character of the film. And, when the real-life character was that of Gandhi, it couldn’t get any bigger or better than this. What I liked most about the movie was that although it attempted to remind us all of the teachings of Gandhi, at no point did it seem preachy or boring. It was all there for us to see, understand and implement on our own. Hats off to Rajkumar Hirani!

Then came another one, Me Shivajiraje Bhosale Boltoy. This movie was made on the lines of Lage Raho Munnabhai, but the movie was in Marathi and indeed had a vernacular flavor to it, that of the ‘Marathi Manus’. Here we saw the great Maratha king, Shivajiraje Bhosle(Mahesh Manjrekar) come to life and advise in the imagination of a Marathi manus(Sachin Khedekar) living in Mumbai and who’s presumably exploited by anyone other than the Maratha clan. In the end he develops immense confidence and is ready to take on any challenge!

This movie too went on to become an instant hit.The unique point of this movie has to be the necessarily stressed point, to safeguard and cherish the valour and pride of the great Marathas. Whenever the common man faces any adverse situation, he visualises Shivaji giving him encouragement to stick to his roots and take on the world. Wish we had someone like this at hand :)

Both movies have a bound script, and great performers to back it. This whole idea of bringing up an influential historical character to life to help us solve our current problems arising out of low self-esteem, and show a focussed way to a confused generation seems very matter-of-fact. Though the movies did have a good impact, I hope no other such movie is made anytime soon or the ‘novelty’ factor will be lost.

By the way, if asked for an opinion as to who should be seen alive on-screen next, what would you say?

Err...Its Human

2009-11-25T20:17:00.000-08:00

When we were in school every day in the morning assembly one student had to give the ‘Thought of the Day’. I loved this part. I felt elated when there was some thought I knew and committed to memory the ones I didn’t.

There was one thought that I failed to understand completely, then and even now. It was:

To err is human, to forgive is divine

With all respect to the person who said this, it’s not illustrative. Divine here means the act of being divine or the Almighty? In any case, I would like few answers:

1. A person can make any number of mistakes, may be serve a full term in jail or be hanged till death, but be forgiven by the Almighty?
2. What are these so-called mistakes that can be categorized as human? If a person robs someone for gambling and the other for some philanthropic reason, who will be forgiven since they’re both human?
3. Does this ‘forgiving’ come with a validity period? Say after some 100 mistakes God withdraws his discount offer?
4. What about those people who strongly believe in God, but know that at the end of the day no matter what they do, the Lord’s going to spare them?

We were taught that there’s one God, the forms may be different. No religion teaches you to hate or kill. Still we find people being killed every day in some or the other part of the world, in the name of religion, power or just plain rebellion against something. Was this the world that God had created? Can these people, who think killing people's going to prove a point,be forgiven in any court of law?

Today is 26th November, 2009. The first anniversary of the scary human massacre that took place in Mumbai. The incident that had shaken the very foundation of safety and security in our country, when three top officers lost their lives only because of sheer negligence.

The government must’ve come up with a count of the number of people who lost their lives, but what about their families? When one person of a family dies, the whole family gets affected, more so if he was the only earning member. The compensation offered may go into the tune of a few lakhs, but nothing can cover up the loss of one person.

We can make demonstrations, condemn the whole act, light candles, may be even stand and observe silence for 2 min, but nothing’s going to undo the damage caused to the hearts of all Indians. We’re indeed sorry for what happened, but aren’t we secretly thankful that we weren’t one of them?

I loved ‘A Wednesday’ and have seen it many times. I loved Naseeruddin Shah’s dialogue, ‘We’re resilient by force, not by choice. Hume ghar chalana hota hai saab!’ Its about time we wake up and own up to our responsibilities, or tomorrow might be our turn.

The tag of eights!

2009-11-23T22:27:00.000-08:00

Reflections had tagged me yesterday with this tag of 8's. I was amazed at how fast I could come up with the answers! It indeed took a lot of imagination and hair-pulling but I managed to get all of them!

8 TV shows I like to watch:
1.Friends, Seinfeld - All-time favourite, love Jason Alexander. Absolutely!
2.Sarabhai v/s Sarabhai
3.Boston Legal/Criminal Minds – anyone that I can catch up
4.Balika Vadhu (though I’m fast losing interest)
5.Any channel playing old songs (preferably Mohd Rafi, but nevertheless)
6.Movies on Zee Studio, Star Movies or HBO
7.Any documentary on aquatic wildlife on Discovery or National Geographic
8.Any channel like CNN IBN or NDTV for about an hour in the evening for daily news update.

8 favourite places to eat:
1.Ofcourse home-cooked food made by my mother or mother-in-law, they’re both effortless experts, simply superb.
2.Lemon and Chilli, Mumbai- I love the ambience of this place. Perfect for family getaways. The food is overpriced, but once you’ve tasted it you won’t mind shelling out those extra bucks, anytime.
3.Golden Chariot,Mumbai- We’d been here for my birthday. We ordered Chinese food, and it was delicious. With some vodka on the side, it was the perfect recipe for a perfect evening!
4.Vihar, Nasik- Here you get the best Missal Pav in the world. Being a lover of spicy food, it was a treat for me. Our gang of friends used to hit this place very often. I miss it a lot now.
5.Everyone knows that the favourite snack/diet of every Mumbaiite is the famous Vada-Pav, and I’m no exception. Every time I’m in Dadar, as soon as I get out of the station, the first thing I do is, have the Jumbo Vada-Pav.
6.There’s this unassuming place in Indore that’s very famous for its ‘Ghamandi Lassi’. You have to taste it to know why the ‘ghamand’, if at all! It’s thick, very creamy and served in a big glass. I bet you can substitute it for a full meal. It’s just too good!
7.Dosa Plaza, Vashi- He serves the widest variety of dosas I’ve ever seen. They are innovative and very tasty. We frequent this place.
8.Natural’s Ice creams- The real taste of fruit in them makes them an instant favourite.

8 things I look forward to:
1.Immediately, my Aunt-in-law’s visit in January. Great bonding time for the whole family.
2.Getting our own dream flat in Mumbai.
3.Spending some quality time with my husband.
4.Doing anything in my capacity in the field of education, teaching in schools or taking tuitions!
5.Having at least one day when I won’t have to do any of the domestic chores.
6.To fit in and look good in one of those elegant and flowy party-wear evening gowns!
7.Participating in and winning a Sudoku championship.
8.Having a worry-free old age, with good health and enough money to go by.

8 things that happened yesterday:
1.Performed my daily pooja in the morning.
2.Had a heart-to-heart almost hour long chat with an old friend, after ages!
3.My son, Arush threw the TV remote in the water. Obviously, every time I needed to switch the channel or adjust the volume I had to parade to the TV set. Sigh! :(
4.Talked with Mom on the phone for around half an hour to make plans for my visit next month.
5.Watered the plants. The rose buds will bloom in a day or two.
6.Our neighbour’s kids came to our place to play with Arush, and needless to say, turned our home into a battlefield look-alike.
7.Arush just won’t sit in the house, so I took him to the balcony and enjoyed the cool breeze. It was lovely.
8.Lots of pending laundry, took up a lot of time!

8 things I love about winter:
There are no winters in Mumbai! Before I shifted here though, I’d experienced very cold winters. So I’m writing from that point of view..
1.Of course, cuddling in the blanket and refusing to get up!
2.I loved to create that smoke when our breath frosts in the cold morning air.
3.Enjoying that hot cuppa coffee or tomato soup in those chilly evenings.
4.Getting to take out and wear all those stuffed away woolen winter wear.
5.Those endless family chats at night since everyone’s at home!
6.Warming up our hands on that fire we lit up with those dried leaves and paper in the veranda.
7.I had a bad cold every time, and I loved the pampering I got!
8.My mother made those laddus to be eaten in winter, full of dry-fruits and very tasty.

8 things on my wishlist:
1.Learning at least one classical form of dance.
2.To write a book and get it published too!
3.I want to try rock-climbing and bungee jumping (tough, since I have vertigo, but it’s exciting even to watch!).
4.Going for a world-tour with my husband.
5.To learn swimming and go for diving in the sea during my world-tour! :P
6.Getting lifetime supply of custom-made diamond jewellery for myself, for free :)
7.A place in the heart of people I know and love, now, and even after I die.
8.To see the newspaper free of news on global terrorism, religious extremism and child abuse. I worry what kind of life the next generation’s going to have :(

8 things I am passionate about:
1.My family (quite predictable :))
2.Reading( books, editorials in the Sunday Times..)
3.Writing (poems, articles, blogs, anything..)
4.Dancing (I left my Bharat Natyam class halfway, wish I could complete it)
5.Music (it has a magical mood-altering effect)
6.Creative ideas (I get a creative attack and I just HAVE to focus my energies there. Making a frame, embroidery on a sari, decorating my home or just rearranging furniture, just about anything..!)
7.Husky voice! (I remember I used to deliberately have cold drinks during winter to have a sore throat) I’m crazy about Brendan Fraser’s and Johnny Depp's husky voice ;)
8.I absolutely, completely, madly love the chocolate flavour of the gelato ITALIANO ice creams, especially Dark Chocolate. I can hog on it endlessly and shamelessly, without caring about my weight.

8 words or phrases I use often:
1.Actually I think..
2.Yeah right/ Very funny…with the same sarcastic tone ;)
3.Bas chal raha hai
4.I know/ You know
5.Bechari to main hoon..
6.Chal re..
7.Shut up!
8.That non-stop baby-talk with my son..

8 things I learnt from the past:
1.Never say never, you may need to eat your own words.
2.There’s nothing called lasting relationships, with friends or foes.
3.When in doubt, don’t let people clutter your mind further. Trust only your instincts.
4.Patience is a virtue. Always remember.
5.Learning to let go is easier than holding on to unpleasant memories.
6.If used in moderation, aggression too can do you good.
7.If anything happened against your wish, it was God’s way of telling you that you wished for the wrong thing.
8.Go to shop in malls only when there’s a sale or you’ll end up buying one thing in the price of two :P

8 places I would love to go, visit or see:
1.Swami Vivekanand Rock Memorial, Kanyakumari
2.Louvre’ Museum, Paris.
3.Rome and Venice,Italy. (Just to see the fascinating architecture with my own eyes)
4.A month long trip to Kerala backwaters.
5.The view from the top of Eiffel Tower, Paris.
6.Disneyland! Want to take my son there, enjoy the rides and myself become a child again!
7.One of those underwater aquariums. Minnesota, New Zealand, anywhere…
8.Any of those typical Buddhist maths, I want to see how they are from inside.

8 things I currently need or want:
1.Lose weight, badly.
2.A separate bed for Arush, he keeps pushing me off the bed in sleep!
3.My skin needs immediate attention, a good facial or something.
4.A full-fledged course on ‘Art of Living’ or just meditation!
5.I’m trying for a freelancing or part-time job, hope I get one soon.
6.Huge backlog of movies I’ve missed, want to clear it up.
7.A house-maid who won’t crib and complain, and would actually do some work.
8.A break from my mundane routine, which I’m going to get soon :)

Now that was something!! Don't be surprised if you don't see a blog from me in a longgg time!! We never really give so much of thought to all these things.

Now, lemme see, who else I want to go through this?? I tag..

1.Nu

2.Chatterbox

3.G

4.LadyinRed

5.I scribble here

6.D

7.PNA

8.The_Girl_From_Ipanema

Wanna know your Rashee?

2009-11-22T01:47:00.000-08:00

There was a time when I was hooked to the Linda Goodman’s book of sun-signs, and every time I developed a liking for someone I’d use it as ready reference to check our compatibility! I’m a Virgo, and it gave me a high when I read something good about myself…practical, perfect, caring, compassionate and all. Wow!

I had memorized what sun-signs I’d get along with and very foolishly and blatantly I sometimes asked people their birthdates before being friends with them. I made it a point to read my horoscope first thing in the morning, and would actually shift my plans, if I could, if the day didn’t have my best interests in store for me.

Over the years my obsessive nature has drastically changed, thankfully. I’ve witnessed over and over again that this whole ‘astrology’ business is good for fun, but when taken too seriously, it can take the better of your judgement. Judging someone on the grounds of his sun-sign is not just incorrect, it’s unfair to that person. There are other things like the birth-time, family, genes or the surroundings that have a bearing on the kind of person someone is. In that case, why bother?

With due respect to the science, I’d say it’s rather far-fetched and artificial. I’ve seen people go to extreme limits to refurbish their dangling careers or save their dying family members by falling prey to the gimmicks played by so-called learned men and astrologers. It is childish on our part to put our faith in this make-believe story, and I’ve come to detest it from the core.

What would’ve happened had we paid any heed to the advice of that astrologer who’d suggested a different career option for us? Would it do us any better to add or remove a letter from our name, or change it altogether? One need not ask these questions and muse about what our future holds for us. It is more about what you can do yourself, than what your stars up there can do for you.

I’d read that Virgos and Arians are not the best match. It’s amusing since my husband’s an Arian, and we’re doing just fine! Evidently, it’s indicative, but not conclusive. It can show you the way, walking on it or not should be your call.

What’s your take on this??